To not let DH go to this woman’s house?

Yes it's disgraceful but it happens unfortunately

How sick that some people think like this but yes obviously some do. It’s a nasty attitude. But also, who wants to get all tangled up in that shit? Affair partners usually get a rough deal. They aren’t chosen and wasted their time.

Huh?

Hell, no. I think he’s overstepped the mark telling you he would date her!

Oh you're so wrong, if they're married sometimes it's the thrill of the chase, the forbidden fruit, the "I'm so alluring I can tempt him away from his wife" attitude, this is interesting...
Understanding the Appeal of Married Men to Women - Lovethentic

Gosh that’s the most naive thing I’ve ever read on here.

As I just explained, single people are found more attractive because they are available. I'm not aware of anyone who finds married people attractive - the fact that someone is married means they are unavailable, which makes them a lot less attractive.

I would let him go but only if he wears that God awful outfit with the cowboy boots… she won’t touch him with a barge pole 🙈😂😂

She said it already. A married man is married therefore another woman thought he was viable as a mate.

Why on earth would a married person be more attractive than a single person?

People are most attractive when they are single. Once they're married, they become a lot less attractive.

She might not have a salon, but there’s nothing stopping you suggesting that she does it at 'your' home instead. Tell her you’d like to see how good she is, as you might use her too.

I would have asked him if he would be happy for you to go to a single man’s house because he’s practicing to be a hairdresser, when you’ve previously said that he is objectively attractive and would date if you were single, then of course he should go…
If after you spelling that out to him he thought is was still a good idea then I’d tell him to go ahead.
You did ask him some questions that you were a bit naive to ask, obviously we all hope our OH would answer
“of course I don’t think she is very attractive and I obviously I’m not single so would never consider dating someone else”
Because that shows some level of tact and care of your feelings, however you shouldn’t ask questions you may not like the answers to.
The dashing off to change when she had mentioned the jacket would have had me eye rolling and I would have called it out then
“Thank you trainee hairdresser for agreeing with me and telling him the jacket was awful, I had already mentioned it but now we’ve both said it obviously as usual I’m right”
At the end of the day you either trust him or you don’t, stopping him going to hers isn’t going to stop him cheating, and her tastes may not run to men who make questionable fashion choices anyway.

Precisely this.

Tell him only if she comes to your house to do it while you're around.

Massively agree with this OP. My husband has female friends and that's totally fine, but it's not fine if there's anything remotely flirtatious or attraction related there. I'd be annoyed to be asked about this by him tbh - he should not even want to go, because he should be protecting your relationship. What I would do now: tell him she can cut his hair but at your home with you present as the only available arrangement, and also tell him he ought to stop responding to any individual contact from her.

The fact that he asked you if you’d be okay with changes things. You said no, and that’s fine. He wouldn’t have asked if he was trying to get away with something. If you still feel that you might have been unreasonable, wait until this woman has finished her training, and YOU call up and make appointments for both of you at her place of business.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable or controlling.

He knew it wasn't right which is why he asked you.

Out of interest, what did he say when you spoke to him about him changing his jacket and asking her directly if what he was wearing was better?

I'd have felt hurt and angry at that too OP.

I cut my DHs hair and like another poster said it can be quite intimate, DH sits with his legs splayed (as most men do) and my boobs are a few inches from his face when I'm cutting the front bit so no I wouldn't be happy about a woman he so obviously fancies cutting his hair...

YANBU. As already said, when you're in a relationship and you find someone else attractive you keep some distance. Plenty of decent people who never intended to cheat get caught up in these situations. So you just don't put yourself in that position in the first place. Don't be the "cool wife" it won't get you anywhere except walked all over. It's not controlling to say no to this. If he seemed disappointed that's another red flag. He wants an amateur hair cut that badly? I question if he'd even say yes to this if it was some bloke.

Jacket thing, OK, as a second person commenting negatively suggests it's extra bad so probably prompted the change.
The attractive thing, you pushed him and he chose not to lie. We all find people attractive. Mostly we operate on don't ask, don't tell and no feelings are hurt.
Haircut at her house, I'd tell him you don't feel comfortable with that as you're worried they'll take a fancy to each other.

Not all men set out to cheat though.
It can be in response to a situation.
In this case, this is a situation that's best avoided.

I think perhaps that women set out to cheat (or more precisely, are at the point that they don't care if they do) and they assume that men do the same.

Even if you do subscribe to the view that men and women are the same when it comes to cheating (I don't), it's not difficult to imagine that people take a series of seemingly innocent actions and before they know it it ends up with them cheating.

I don't think it's like anybody wakes up and decides definitively they're going to cheat as such.
I think that people who aren't ardent philanderers often fit this category.

People aren't in as much control of outcomes as much as they'd like to think.

OP i think you have been clear, it is others either misinterpreting what happened or choosing to be “cool wife's” which is not a great look either. He ask if you were ok with it and you were honest. Good on yoj for being honest - it sounds like you have s good relationship in that he thought you may not hsve been ok with it so kindly checked with you first it shows respect so good on him too. Honestly all this blessing on about “keeping him hostage, chained up etc” whst a load of nonsense. You both respect each other which is nice

Short of locking up and blindfolding your husband, how do you think you can stop
something like that? If people want to cheat they will do so.

He is an adult and his wife doesn’t get to control him. She can of course decide that his actions aren’t acceptable to her and decide her future accordingly.

But control isn’t a good look - it certainly doesn’t make anyone think ‘oh well I won’t fancy anyone or do anything about it then’.

You cant stop someone cheating. You can only control your own reaction to it

You don't have to look unhinged. A pointed "Any reason why you can't come to ours for the cut?" would suffice. I certainly wouldn't be sitting back and letting it happen.

What have you decided?