To not let DH go to this woman’s house?

It’s never possible to ‘nip it in the bud’ - you can’t stop it if it’s going to happen. If someone wants to sleep with someone else then they will find a way.

In this instance it's possible to 'nip it in the bud' - and you're calling others naive?

Record their interaction?? Have you heard yourself?????

Is that what we’re doing these days - putting listening devices on our spouses or making them use the voice notes app while getting a haircut?

Get a fucking grip man ffs 🤦🏻‍♀️

This. It's wrong to tell a grown man what to do, but it is reasonable to have a discussion. I would also think that no amount of regulation would stop someone if they wanted to cheat or leave, so it doesn't help the situation. The OP should absolutely have a chat about how it's making her feel.

How do you think us gay people cope with having friends when in a relationship? We do go around our friend’s houses by ourselves without our partners accusing us of going to have sex with them. If someone is going to cheat then they will. Probably even more so if they are being accused of doing it. This is because the relationship is doomed.

It is true that they may not have sex while he's round there for the haircut.

I really don't understand the absolutism about this.
'Trust him or not' is bullocks to me.
Of course when it comes to ardent philandering you simply cannot trust them.
A lot of men get sucked into affairs without ever meaning to cheat, though.

A seemingly innocent comment, a seemingly innocent request for help, a seemingly innocent request for coffee.
An emotional bond develops.
The man doesn't even realise it.
He ends up in a situation he didn't mean to.

This is why women have to do the nipping in the bud. Stop any new friendships with women developing.
We know full well what the other woman's playing at. They know we do too.
That jacket comment was clearly an overstepping of a boundary, maybe he's too dim to see it and meant no harm but the two women knew exactly what it meant.

Sometimes we have to do the thinking for our spouse and yes they do the thinking for us sometimes as regards other matters, too.

I’ve only read the op’s posts. I’d feel a little hurt by the fact if my dh reacted to the jacket like your dh did. Also, it’s quite rude for her, a complete stranger (almost) to comment on the jacket in the first place, and in your house. i wouldn’t want him to go to her house either for the haircut. An (invisible) boundary has been crossed, a level of intimacy that is getting your spidery senses tingling. Also, when and why did she get his contact details?

@shuggles another thing is that some women would rather be a part-time mistress to an attractive man than with a man they've got all to themselves who they aren't attracted to.

It is what it is.

Do you trust your husband?
If you trust him then it's fine, surely?

Do you honestly think he will go there for a haircut and not be able to help himself and end up having sex with her? That's a bit odd isn't it?

He's shown you the message so he's not hiding anything.

I guess you tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable and then he won't go out of respect to you but I think it's a bit odd to have such a level of mistrust around him.

And I agree with a pp, you sowed the seed of doubt about the jacket, someone else mentioned it so he changed. It just happened to be her but could have been anyone saying it.

I think you were right to say it would make you uncomfortable. It is good he asked you. Let her find someone else to practice on. Can’t be that hard for her to find an alternative.

No.
For a start, availability is not the same as attractive.
You can't seriously think that an extremely physically unattractive single man is more attractive than a married Brad Pitt?
I mean really (?!)

(I say Brad Pitt as he is just shorthand for extremely attractive man that everybody is aware of.)

It's personal morality that stops women pursuing the 'Brad Pitt', not that he's married!

Some women just don't care.

Nevertheless if you've got a roomful of single extremely unattractive men and put say average-looking women in a room with them no women will be pursuing them.

If, however, you've got a roomful of very attractive married men there will be at least a few women who will be pursuing them. Oh yes.

How do you not realise this?
Or are you just joking?
I don't mind if you are.

Some do but often the attraction to a married man is partially because it won’t go further than fucking

It’s a no from me
Fine, if she wants to come yours whilst you are there

The fact he said he finds her attractive will make you feel uneasy even though we as women & men we do find other people attractive of course.
To admit it.. that would bother me as she maybe in you're company in the future .. if you have a gut feeling its telling you you are feeling threatened by the behaviour... he needs to give you reassurance that there's no temptation.
Relationships are so hard x

OP, trust your gut and nip this in the bud. YANBU

This. If anyone told me "I'm not allowing you" I'd go to spite them to be honest.

I totally agree. He should have simply declined.

Someone being married might make them less attractive to you. That doesn't apply to everyone.

Don't forget, there's a built-in safety issue when dating, for women, because you're dating someone who's usually bigger, taller, stronger, and more aggressive than you. If another woman has OK'd him, that's a big reassurance. Please note that all of this is likely subconscious. Us women don't go around thinking "These people - men - are bigger than me. I know, I'll get me one that's pre-approved." I think these subconscious thought processes account for a great extent to a MM having some appeal.

I feel like your husband has put you in a tough position and i would find it disrespectful he has even asked when he knows he’s told
you he thinks she is attractive so why would he even be wanting to entertain it. I would be annoyed he’s asked you and put it on you to say no, which makes you look and feel controlling when he is a grown man he knows it isn’t appropriate yet he still asked anyway I’d be really disappointed if my husband couldn’t take a step back and think how would this make my wife feel if the shoes was on the other foot i wouldn’t even be asking my husband I’d be politely declining

HA! Insecure or just clued-up with reality?

Most women end up wanting more than that though.

Agreed

Many affair partners don’t want to be ‘chosen’ - a lot of affairs are for a bit of fun

I think you would be playing with fire to agree to it, especially given that he ‘finds her attractive’ and there is clearly chemistry between them (in short, yes he fancies her), and cutting hair is quite a tactile and personal thing. Having someone you fancy run their hands through your hair for an extended time could be quite an erotic experience. And at her house? Alone? Absolutely no way!