To not let DH go to this woman’s house?

I think there's a difference between thinking someone is good looking and being attracted to someone though? Are you really attracted to almost every person you meet? 😂

I’d feel the same OP. I always think it’s horrible using the word ‘attractive’. You can say ‘yes I think this person is good looking’ but when you use attractive it’s like saying ‘you’re attracted to them’ which is very different imo.

Could she cut his hair at your house instead?

Would he be OK with a crew cut if she mucks up?

Christ, I think I'd struggle to get through life! I'd probably answer "Yes" to "Do you think they're attractive" for a good 80% of people within 15 years of my age. And I'm bisexual so can't even stick to my own sex to be safe!

I'd be very lonely if I wasn't allowed to talk to or spend time with anyone attractive.

I remember that film When the wife (emma thompson?) confronted him, he said it meant nothing to him and she said yes but whilst you were doing it, I meant nothing to you.

FWIW, I do not think that you are out of line.

my XH and my DP would both listen to me if I expressed concern, as I would to them. That’s why I asked how he reacted. If he is taking your feelings into consideration, then all good. If he pushed back, then… that would be a red flag for me.

what would you like to happen next?

I've never managed a haircut without the hairdresser's boobs in my face at some point 😂 It is quite intimate really.

I'm with you OP. Sometimes things need to be nipped in the bud before they become a problem and your gut is telling you something.

I would offer to let her cut my hair instead but would be worried that I'd end up with a Dudley Moore haircut

Just to add to my earlier post, would he ask you if you were ok with him getting a haircut from Barry up the road if he were training to be a barber? Or your SiL? Why is he asking? Could it be because he already knows he’s pushing his luck?

This reminds me of a film called The Tall Guy. The male lead was offered a drink at a party he said yes and the wife knew he was having an affair as the woman knew what he drank.

What I'm getting at is that the jacket thing is overstepping a boundary in plain sight.
Everybody else knew it too.

Your husband is a prick for doing that.

That alone would make me livid.

I think previous posters are nit-picking a bit here. Of course you can't stop him from going.

You're totally OK not to be happy about it.

All this asking for permission is pointless, they fancy each other.
And it's a bit shitty that he's asking, what a fucking creep he is putting the onus on you.
He should have just said no.

How far is he going to take it? I don't know. I think he's more likely to cheat than not, though.

You're not out of line at all. He's disappointed because you've said no, and now if he wants to get off with her he'll have to do it without your blessing, like a common or garden cheat. You're absolutely right to be on guard. And I would ask him to block her too actually. I've been on the receiving end of this too often. Just nip it before it gets any worse. Don't wave him off to another woman.

You know the answer - he should not go, we know the answer - he should not go. Talk to him about the word 'appropriate' and what it means in relation to a marriage.

No, you’re absolutely not being unreasonable. You’re clearly picking up on something that is making you feel uncomfortable.

In your shoes, I would be very honest and open about how I was feeling. I’d also tell him to think very carefully about his next move because his behaviour is already making alarm bells ring, and he’s about an inch away from damaging his marriage. He might not be cheating. He might not have any intention of cheating. But your marriage needs to come before any budding friendship he has with anyone else and if his behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable, he’s already crossed a line.

Inwardly I’d be screaming “if she your hair I’m cutting your throat” but I’d say that’s nice MrLwren, funnily enough I’m getting a massage from insert random fit bloke here because he’s retraining and asked could he practice his new skills on me.

Actually I probably wouldn’t, I’d just ask outright is he planning to shag the hairdresser because we’re all adults and know if she’s sliding into his instagram DMs, it’s on the cards here. If the answer was yes, then we work out a plan together if we want to stay together.

You're not out of line at all. The jacket thing was weird and definitely an overly familiar thing for her to comment on, it's kind of like neggy-flirting from someone he doesn't know very well. You know your husband and his reactions so your gut is probably right.

It wouldn’t be ok with me either. YANBU

You can of course register your disapproval but you can’t say no as presumably he’s not asking for permission, what with being a grown adult.

But you will be told on here that it’s okay to not ‘let’ him do things

This. No one should be having to ask for permission to go anywhere.

Absolutely not!!!!! If she wants to practice that badly , let her come to your house while your there.

Why doesn’t she just wax his back, sack and crack while she’s at it and then go shopping with him for a new jacket she would like to see him wear.

Hell to the No … who is this woman ?

This!! Tag along.. 🤣

You said it before me. Absolutely this. OP can say she doesn't want DH to do this and why. He can still choose to go, showing OP he doesn't value her as he should.