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Original poster

To be angry at my mum over an animal in distress

139 replies

Corintha · 27/05/2026 15:25

My mum has just text me in casual conversation to say that there is a pigeon trapped in the chimney vent in her and my dad’s bedroom. She says that they heard it fall down early this morning and it has been in there cooing ever since and is clearly stuck.

I have asked what she intends to do about it, whether she is going to get my dad to take the vent off or call someone in. She doesn’t want to take the vent off as it will be messy and doesn’t want to call anyone out as she says she’s too busy with other life admin (she’s a carer for adult autistic sibling). She says “It’s a shame but it’s life” and she’s just going to leave it and let nature run its course.

I’ve lost my shit with her a bit as she seems okay to lay in bed for the next few nights listening to an animal die in a horrible way. The vent is behind their bed board ffs! I’ve also warned her that the smell is going to be horrendous and she will have flies but she is insisting it will be fine. It’s a vent, of course the smell is going to seep through.

I’ve lost my shit with her a bit and she has told me to go away and blocked me saying “it’s not the first time an animal has died in a chimney and won’t be the last”.

AIBU to think she’s being incredibly thick. I’m so angry at her and I don’t know what to do as I live an hour away and don’t drive, it’s 3 hours away on public transport

OP posts:
CanOnlyBeMyself · 27/05/2026 16:30

@BillieWiper I'm probably going to be unpopular when I say this but I consider pigeons to be vermin

How very odd of you. Bet you love robins don’t you? Anyone who thinks it’s ok to not rescue a living creature when it’s possible to do so is disgusting.

0livesandcheese · 27/05/2026 16:29

Well o guess you just have to let her experience the stench and say I told you so. Sad for pigeons slow death though 😔

TrixieFatell · 27/05/2026 16:25

A friend of mine once found maggots on her stairs one day, and tracked them down to a bird that had died in the loft. They had smelt an odd smell but thought it was drains. She was hysterical with all the maggots. I couldn't live knowing something was decaying behind my bed 🤢

Original poster
Corintha · 27/05/2026 16:25

FurtherDownTheRoad · 27/05/2026 16:17

Your mum has a limit to how much hassle she’s prepared to go to to rescue the pigeon. So do you. They are different limits but I don’t see that there’s a great moral gulf between your decision and hers.

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It’s not just about the welfare of the pigeon. The pigeon will be directly behind their heads when they are sleeping. They are older and my dad already has chest problems. I’m concerned about them breathing in air from pigeon droppings and the eventual decomposition of the pigeon. It is behind the vent, the vent has several horizontal gaps in. There is a cheap flimsy headboard in front of the vent, their heads will be mere centimetres away from the decomposing animal

OP posts:
SunshineOnARainyLeith · 27/05/2026 16:20

Can the RSPB help with this?

NearlyNinety · 27/05/2026 16:20

Why didn't you have a grill on the chimneys?

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 27/05/2026 16:19

FurtherDownTheRoad · 27/05/2026 16:17

Your mum has a limit to how much hassle she’s prepared to go to to rescue the pigeon. So do you. They are different limits but I don’t see that there’s a great moral gulf between your decision and hers.

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very well put.

Paganpentacle · 27/05/2026 16:18

BeeHive909 · 27/05/2026 15:54

It won’t smell. Sadly i live in a house where birds fall down the chimney all the time and because the vent is sealed up with only one bar remaining we can’t get to it . I couldn’t listen to it alive still though .

We have an old house with chimneys.
We've had loads fall down over the years - to remove them would mean removing the fire.

FurtherDownTheRoad · 27/05/2026 16:17

Corintha · 27/05/2026 15:53

I’m 7 months pregnant and a 3 hour train ride away and then would be another 3 hour train ride back and I work at 7am tomorrow.

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Your mum has a limit to how much hassle she’s prepared to go to to rescue the pigeon. So do you. They are different limits but I don’t see that there’s a great moral gulf between your decision and hers.

NearlyNinety · 27/05/2026 16:15

If you tell the RSPCA would they help>

Notmyreality · 27/05/2026 16:14

You are unreasonable to “lose your shit” at you DM over this. That is an over reaction and you should learn to control yourself. Different people have different considerations - personally my first reaction is similar to your mums, these thing happen, it’s part of nature/life. But I would be more concerned about the potential smell of a decaying bird, though given the fact you have access to the vent right there I would open it up and see if I could get to it. But I wouldn’t be tearing my chimney down to save a pigeon no.

0livesandcheese · 27/05/2026 16:07

Stepmum900 · 27/05/2026 16:05

She’s already said she lives hours away

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Also it’s not up a chimney

Azandme · 27/05/2026 16:06

A pigeon got stuck in a vent in my classroom wall at some point over Easter. I didn't know until it started to smell.

It was unholy. And even when the cause was identified and removed the stench lingered for weeks. Literally. It permeated the wall because it didn't dry out, it putrified - and the smell of putrefaction is horrific.

There no soft furnishings in my classroom, thank god, but my CLOTHES picked up the smell!

I assume they don't want to replace bed, bedding, curtains, carpets?

In the heat decomp starts rapidly and accelerates at speed. She won't know it's starting to rot until it's too late.

From experience (that I couldn't do anything about) she's being incredibly foolish.

Feel free to tell her how my pupils were retching, even with the windows open. It was so bad we moved out at one stage.

Stepmum900 · 27/05/2026 16:05

LoserWinner · 27/05/2026 15:50

If it matters so much to you, why don’t you go and release the bird yourself, and clear up the mess for her? Or offer to look after your brother for the day so she has the time and headspace to deal with it?

She’s already said she lives hours away

LeaderBee · 27/05/2026 16:05

What a disgusting reaction from your mum. Sure it is probably quite difficult to rescue a pigeon from a small, narrow, difficult to access and windy space but not giving a fuck rather than at least giving it a try because not getting soot all over the place is more important than not letting an animal starve to death in the dark.

What a disgusting nasty and frankly ignorant attitude.

Sorry, that's hard to hear the pigeon is going to most likely die because nobody gives a shit.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 27/05/2026 16:05

I wouldn’t make the choice your mum is making but yabu to rage at her but not put your money where your mouth is and go over there to help her with it.
I know it’s a long way and you are pregnant. But clearly it feels prohibitively difficult to her as well. So either do something constructive to help her or leave her to deal with it in her own way.

0livesandcheese · 27/05/2026 16:04

SAVE THE PIGEON! Where is she? If she’s near me I’ll go and say I can hear it and does she want help to get it out.

what if you speak to your dad directly? Will he help it?

BillieWiper · 27/05/2026 16:04

It'll reek the place out if it dies and she just leaves it there. But if she can live with that then fair enough.

I'm probably going to be unpopular when I say this but I consider pigeons to be vermin and I wouldn't be desperately upset about its suffering. Unfortunately it's true that when they fly the nest, many birds don't survive for reasons like this or being eaten by predators. If they all did survive we'd be overwhelmed.

SaturdayFive · 27/05/2026 16:04

Why can't your dad sort it then? Why blame your mum?

bignewprinz · 27/05/2026 16:04

She sounds utterly grim. Not much else we can say. No doubt she'd want rescued if she fell down a chimney, though should that event ever happen, do put your feet up and leave her be won't you.

Trumptontown · 27/05/2026 16:02

Poor pidge 😔

Original poster
Corintha · 27/05/2026 16:01

For reference this is the type of vent

To be angry at my mum over an animal in distress
OP posts:
Original poster
Corintha · 27/05/2026 15:58

She says she can hear it very loudly, when I’ve told her that if she can hear it she’ll certainly be able to smell it she says I’m being ridiculous! So stupid.

OP posts:
0livesandcheese · 27/05/2026 15:58

Perhaps she will reflect on what you’ve said and get it sorted?

Original poster
Corintha · 27/05/2026 15:57

BeeHive909 · 27/05/2026 15:54

It won’t smell. Sadly i live in a house where birds fall down the chimney all the time and because the vent is sealed up with only one bar remaining we can’t get to it . I couldn’t listen to it alive still though .

That’s the thing the vent is behind their bed board and the vent has loads of holes in and she seems happy to listen to it in distress biding her time until it dies. It would be easy for my dad to unscrew the vent, grab the bird in a towel and take it outside. If it does die I hope it stinks to high heaven because they would deserve it for being so bloody stupid

OP posts: