Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry at my mum over an animal in distress

139 replies

Corintha · 27/05/2026 15:25

My mum has just text me in casual conversation to say that there is a pigeon trapped in the chimney vent in her and my dad’s bedroom. She says that they heard it fall down early this morning and it has been in there cooing ever since and is clearly stuck.

I have asked what she intends to do about it, whether she is going to get my dad to take the vent off or call someone in. She doesn’t want to take the vent off as it will be messy and doesn’t want to call anyone out as she says she’s too busy with other life admin (she’s a carer for adult autistic sibling). She says “It’s a shame but it’s life” and she’s just going to leave it and let nature run its course.

I’ve lost my shit with her a bit as she seems okay to lay in bed for the next few nights listening to an animal die in a horrible way. The vent is behind their bed board ffs! I’ve also warned her that the smell is going to be horrendous and she will have flies but she is insisting it will be fine. It’s a vent, of course the smell is going to seep through.

I’ve lost my shit with her a bit and she has told me to go away and blocked me saying “it’s not the first time an animal has died in a chimney and won’t be the last”.

AIBU to think she’s being incredibly thick. I’m so angry at her and I don’t know what to do as I live an hour away and don’t drive, it’s 3 hours away on public transport

OP posts:
Original poster
Corintha · 27/05/2026 21:33

This is probably just me getting overly emotional and sentimental now from the pregnancy hormones but what if the poor thing has babies waiting for mummy in a nest! I know these things happen but they literally have the option to save it. They are choosing not to because they can’t be arsed

OP posts:
NearlyNinety · 27/05/2026 21:27

BillieWiper · 27/05/2026 16:04

It'll reek the place out if it dies and she just leaves it there. But if she can live with that then fair enough.

I'm probably going to be unpopular when I say this but I consider pigeons to be vermin and I wouldn't be desperately upset about its suffering. Unfortunately it's true that when they fly the nest, many birds don't survive for reasons like this or being eaten by predators. If they all did survive we'd be overwhelmed.

"I wouldn't be desperately upset about its suffering."
What a revolting thing to feel.

Original poster
Corintha · 27/05/2026 21:24

The vent has screws and they’ve heard it directly behind the vent, it would take a matter of minutes to free the poor thing. It doesn’t sound as though it’s a baby, mum says it sounds like a large bird. I hope it keeps them awake all night flapping and cooing a mere few inches away from their heads. If they can sleep listening to that then they are utterly shameful.

this is the same mum who once gently helped out a little mouse that was trapped in our green bin when I was a child. She tipped the bin on its side, coaxed the mouse out with food and took it somewhere safe. What on earth has become of her?

OP posts:
JellyBeanSpring25 · 27/05/2026 21:24

Tableforjoan · 27/05/2026 17:57

We have had birds sometimes in one of our chimneys. It’s fully blocked off inside the house so unfortunately unless I wanted to smash into the brick work anything that falls in stays in.

It’s getting capped when the new flashing goes on.

I’m sure mum or dad will get fed up of hearing it by bedtime tonight and dad will likely unscrew the vent if it really is that easy.

Same here, we can’t get to our chimneys any longer and sadly we have similar problems this year. The crows or larger birds seems to have pushed the chimney covering aside and nested. It’s horrible to hear. Attached neighbour and I are having roof tiles replaced in autumn so will get roofer to renew the covers!

If there was anyway of getting in there I would, but DH won’t let me remove all the kitchen units and take a sledge hammer to the wall. I hope your Dad manages to free the little squab.

Original poster
Corintha · 27/05/2026 21:17

cramptramp · 27/05/2026 19:28

Tell her the only reason I found out I had a dead pigeon in my chimney vent was because of the flies. She’ll definitely get them, especially in the summer.

Show quote history

Well according to my parents it’s “impossible for flies to get down a chimney” so I suppose you and all of the other stories I’ve seen online of people who ended up with flies after a bird died in the chimney are just making it up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Corintha · 27/05/2026 21:14

I was nice and polite to my parents BTW, I haven’t expressed anything to them directly in angry way. I came to MN to vent about them but I haven’t called them stupid directly. I needed to sound off my anger about them somewhere else.

I said to my mum something along the lines of “If it were me I couldn’t just leave it, maybe try the local Facebook group or look for a wildlife group that will come and take it if dad can get the vent off.” and she said “I’m not faffing about with all of that.” So then I changed my approach and told her I was concerned about the smell, flies and health risks and got told I was being “precious and up myself” and got promptly blocked which is quite common behaviour for her

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 27/05/2026 21:08

CanOnlyBeMyself · 27/05/2026 16:30

@BillieWiper I'm probably going to be unpopular when I say this but I consider pigeons to be vermin

How very odd of you. Bet you love robins don’t you? Anyone who thinks it’s ok to not rescue a living creature when it’s possible to do so is disgusting.

Is it odd of me to predict I'd get a response like this? I'm fine with you alleging it's odd.

But I'd call the RSPCA and if they want to rescue it they can do.

Original poster
Corintha · 27/05/2026 21:07

I rang my dad as he is usually a bit more reasonable than my mum. The reason he hasn’t been involved prior is as he was working (he is still working full-time despite being beyond state pension age).

He said they are just going to “let it die” and when I said they will have a smell and flies he said “the smell will go upwards and out through the chimney and the pigeon is too far down for any flies to get down there”

Absolutely ridiculous. I hope it stinks the place out and they get a fly infestation. They aren’t usually this thick, I don’t know what’s gotten into them. They seem to be sharing a brain the size of a garden-pea between them. I heard mum in the background during the call saying she could hear it flapping its wings.

I’m fuming. My partner is away at the moment otherwise he’d have driven down and offered to sort it.

OP posts:
NearlyNinety · 27/05/2026 21:01

BauhausOfEliott · 27/05/2026 16:48

Possibly because the chimney is that of her parents' house and not hers, and people can't go around making changes to houses that don't belong them simply because their parents live there?

Show quote history

As I've said all ready, the use of "We" is misleading!

GardenTable · 27/05/2026 20:16

Where is your mum OP?
If you tell us where in the country perhaps someone can go and take the vent off for her? I'll go if she's local to me.

PancakeCloud · 27/05/2026 20:13

Jellox · 27/05/2026 19:17

She is letting something die that would take a matter of minutes to save, she doesn’t even need to do it herself she can ask her DH but she’s refusing - it doesn’t really get much more selfish and nasty than that does it.

Lets hope the person she cares for or her DH doesn’t injure themselves and require her to have some empathy to call an ambulance.

Show quote history

What a horrible false equivalence to draw.

She should let the pigeon out, but how someone treats other human beings is much more instructive in determining their character than how they behave towards a single sodding pigeon.

Megifer · 27/05/2026 19:59

FieryMexicanClive · 27/05/2026 19:47

Yes, I do wonder where your very generalized comment is coming from.

Show quote history

Ok cool 👍

FieryMexicanClive · 27/05/2026 19:47

Megifer · 27/05/2026 18:41

Neither of them taking 3 mins to unscrew a vent? Yea, I stand by my comment.

Show quote history

Yes, I do wonder where your very generalized comment is coming from.

cramptramp · 27/05/2026 19:28

Corintha · 27/05/2026 15:49

No she claims to be an animal lover and has a dog.

i’m so fucking furious at her and she is happily going to lay there listening to it coo as it starves to death

and she’s so thick for thinking it won’t smell or attract flies because “it’s behind the vent and the vent is covered by the bed board”

Edited
Show quote history

Tell her the only reason I found out I had a dead pigeon in my chimney vent was because of the flies. She’ll definitely get them, especially in the summer.

Jellox · 27/05/2026 19:17

FieryMexicanClive · 27/05/2026 18:38

Ops mum is an unpaid carer. Probably not selfish and nasty.

Show quote history

She is letting something die that would take a matter of minutes to save, she doesn’t even need to do it herself she can ask her DH but she’s refusing - it doesn’t really get much more selfish and nasty than that does it.

Lets hope the person she cares for or her DH doesn’t injure themselves and require her to have some empathy to call an ambulance.

Ahwig · 27/05/2026 18:48

I had exactly this situation a few years ago. 5 minutes with a screwdriver, gently putting a towel over the bird as I didn’t want it flying round the room , then took it outside and off it flew. The whole process took 10 minutes. I hated the few minutes it took to get the vent off because the bird was obviously distressed. I certainly couldn’t have laid in bed listening to it for the time it took the poor thing to die.

Megifer · 27/05/2026 18:41

FieryMexicanClive · 27/05/2026 18:38

Ops mum is an unpaid carer. Probably not selfish and nasty.

Show quote history

Neither of them taking 3 mins to unscrew a vent? Yea, I stand by my comment.

FieryMexicanClive · 27/05/2026 18:38

Megifer · 27/05/2026 18:37

I do find generally older parents get more selfish and nasty.

The poor thing cooing too 😭 We treat pigeons so badly when they are one of the most gentle creatures around us.

Id offer to sort it tbh and then id be seeing my mum in a really different light.

Ops mum is an unpaid carer. Probably not selfish and nasty.

Megifer · 27/05/2026 18:37

I do find generally older parents get more selfish and nasty.

The poor thing cooing too 😭 We treat pigeons so badly when they are one of the most gentle creatures around us.

Id offer to sort it tbh and then id be seeing my mum in a really different light.

mydogisthebest · 27/05/2026 18:33

What an absolutely disgusting attitude. Your mum and dad are awful. Oh and I can't believe that 32% of posters think you are not unreasonable. They are as disgusting as your parents.

Malinia · 27/05/2026 18:31

Azandme · 27/05/2026 16:06

A pigeon got stuck in a vent in my classroom wall at some point over Easter. I didn't know until it started to smell.

It was unholy. And even when the cause was identified and removed the stench lingered for weeks. Literally. It permeated the wall because it didn't dry out, it putrified - and the smell of putrefaction is horrific.

There no soft furnishings in my classroom, thank god, but my CLOTHES picked up the smell!

I assume they don't want to replace bed, bedding, curtains, carpets?

In the heat decomp starts rapidly and accelerates at speed. She won't know it's starting to rot until it's too late.

From experience (that I couldn't do anything about) she's being incredibly foolish.

Feel free to tell her how my pupils were retching, even with the windows open. It was so bad we moved out at one stage.

Yep. We've had rats die in our walls, no vents, and the smell is unbearable, we couldn't use the room for over a week because of it.

OP if it were my mum I wouldn't be able to talk to her again. She's being unspeakably cruel.

Sunisgettinganewhaton · 27/05/2026 18:13

They wouldn't be seeing me or my dc I am certain
.

FieryMexicanClive · 27/05/2026 18:11

loislovesstewie · 27/05/2026 17:01

It would take literally a minute to unscrew the vent,open the window and see if the bird would escape. I had a seagull come down my chimney into the living room a few years ago, we ushered it out in seconds. Then got a chimney cowl.

Isn't it behind a bed though. That means moving at least the bed itself, possibly other furniture too. It's a fair bit of hassle. Maybe too much hassle for someone who already has too much to do.

Anyway, sounds like no one wants to stir themselves about this. Not OP nor her mum nor her dad. But one of those three is starting Mumsnet threads about it, not for advice or help. Hope everything gets sorted.

BeigeandGreige · 27/05/2026 18:09

Corintha · 27/05/2026 15:25

My mum has just text me in casual conversation to say that there is a pigeon trapped in the chimney vent in her and my dad’s bedroom. She says that they heard it fall down early this morning and it has been in there cooing ever since and is clearly stuck.

I have asked what she intends to do about it, whether she is going to get my dad to take the vent off or call someone in. She doesn’t want to take the vent off as it will be messy and doesn’t want to call anyone out as she says she’s too busy with other life admin (she’s a carer for adult autistic sibling). She says “It’s a shame but it’s life” and she’s just going to leave it and let nature run its course.

I’ve lost my shit with her a bit as she seems okay to lay in bed for the next few nights listening to an animal die in a horrible way. The vent is behind their bed board ffs! I’ve also warned her that the smell is going to be horrendous and she will have flies but she is insisting it will be fine. It’s a vent, of course the smell is going to seep through.

I’ve lost my shit with her a bit and she has told me to go away and blocked me saying “it’s not the first time an animal has died in a chimney and won’t be the last”.

AIBU to think she’s being incredibly thick. I’m so angry at her and I don’t know what to do as I live an hour away and don’t drive, it’s 3 hours away on public transport

Knowingly letting an animal suffer and die in distress is lower than low behaviour.

I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing my mum is doing this and I would driving down there myself.

AddictedToBooks · 27/05/2026 18:09

Notmyreality · 27/05/2026 18:01

How balanced and reasonable.

Show quote history

Balanced and reasonable to have a "shrug the shoulders" attitude and think "Aah well it's nature"?
That's what I meant was cold - not the refusal to annihilate a chimney.