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Original poster

Why might this person have bruises ?

84 replies

0livesandcheese · 27/05/2026 13:53

If you saw that someone had bruises on her upper arms would you ask about them? I am concerned but I also know that she enjoys quite a liberal sex life. I don’t know exactly what she participates in but have an idea that she is quite experimental. Could it be that it’s from this or would you be concerned? I haven’t said anything before and this is the third time I’ve noticed bruises. Please don’t attack me if I’m getting this wrong, just asking for advice aibu

OP posts:
Witchywooz · 27/05/2026 14:55

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/05/2026 14:52

Dangerous advice. It is literally one of the injuries SWs and police are told to watch for. That and black eyes, circular burns and so on.

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Dangerous? Lighten up she's got sex bruises, we all had them in that exact place surely

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/05/2026 14:52

Witchywooz · 27/05/2026 14:14

If it's like thumb mark bruises on front of arms it's from sex

Dangerous advice. It is literally one of the injuries SWs and police are told to watch for. That and black eyes, circular burns and so on.

dontforgettofloss · 27/05/2026 14:49

When my son was a toddler he used to regularly pinch me on the soft bit of my upper arms when he was angry (he has autism) I was absolutely covered with little bruises, my boss asked me about them and I just explained. People can have bruises for the most random reasons

Amberlynnswashcloth · 27/05/2026 14:46

I once fell out of bed and landed on the bedside table leaving a massive bruise that covered the whole back of my arm. I didn't realise how bad it was until a couple of people gave me concerned looks and asked whether everything was OK in my relationship. I appreciated that they cared enough to ask.

Sirzy · 27/05/2026 14:42

I do strongwoman events and bruise very easily. I often have what could be deemed unusual bruises. I take no offence when asked what they are as I know why it could look suspicious, if I am in a medical setting I will often lead with an explanation (and videos to prove they are self inflicted!)

WinterNightStars · 27/05/2026 14:41

I’ve been on steroids for years & my skin is paper thin - bruises & tears so easily. I’m only mid 50s so don’t feel old enough for this fragile skin. I’ve even been asked at work if everything’s ok at home!

CatBooksWineInThatOrder · 27/05/2026 14:39

I used to regularly have bruises on my upper arms that looked like somebody had been violently grabbing on to me. Which is exactly what they were, thanks to my delightful ex. I’m not saying that’s what they are here, as others have said there are many other explanations. But it would have mattered to me how and where I was asked if someone had been concerned.

FullOfMomsense · 27/05/2026 14:37

I would ask, either gently concerned "Are you alright? I noticed a bruise on your arm" or in a lighter tone "What have you done to your arms?" And suggest she uses Arnica to heal them faster. Don't ask in front of people/partner.

Mummummmy · 27/05/2026 14:22

I have hypermobility and bruise very easily. My partner or a stranger grabbing my arm firmly but not painfully so, would cause a bruise for example.

Original poster
0livesandcheese · 27/05/2026 14:17

DinoLil · 27/05/2026 14:16

Does she have a dog? I have a food obsessed dog who gets very excited at breakfast and teatime and bounces on me like I'm a trampoline. I had to explain the bruises to my physiotherapist yesterday!

Oh really? She does have a dog

OP posts:
DinoLil · 27/05/2026 14:16

Does she have a dog? I have a food obsessed dog who gets very excited at breakfast and teatime and bounces on me like I'm a trampoline. I had to explain the bruises to my physiotherapist yesterday!

Original poster
0livesandcheese · 27/05/2026 14:16

Witchywooz · 27/05/2026 14:14

If it's like thumb mark bruises on front of arms it's from sex

Yes kind of like this but also could be someone holding someone and shouting at them if you know what I mean

OP posts:
Original poster
0livesandcheese · 27/05/2026 14:15

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 27/05/2026 14:15

Yeah, you ask what happened. That's such a normal thing to do when you notice someone has an injury. I don't know why you're dwelling on it, if you want to know what happened ask her.

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Because I don’t want to embarrass her if it’s just sex bruises

OP posts:
PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 27/05/2026 14:15

0livesandcheese · 27/05/2026 14:08

Ok it’s a friend. She does not have a job or hobby that would mean she had bruises on her upper arms. Would it be acceptable to ask?

Yeah, you ask what happened. That's such a normal thing to do when you notice someone has an injury. I don't know why you're dwelling on it, if you want to know what happened ask her.

Witchywooz · 27/05/2026 14:14

If it's like thumb mark bruises on front of arms it's from sex

MyMilchick · 27/05/2026 14:12

MissMoneyFairy · 27/05/2026 14:09

Yes, I'd just say oh that looks sore, is everything OK or be a bit lighthearted.

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I would probably word it differently, asking is everything OK kind of implies you think someone purposely did it to her, I would just say "ouch, what happened your arms" as if you don't assume it's more sinister

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/05/2026 14:12

If you know someone well enough to know about their sex life, you certainly know them well enough to ask about their welfare.

MyMilchick · 27/05/2026 14:10

0livesandcheese · 27/05/2026 14:08

Ok it’s a friend. She does not have a job or hobby that would mean she had bruises on her upper arms. Would it be acceptable to ask?

Of course it would, if it's nothing to be concerned about it won't phase her and if it is you'll probably have your answer by her reaction

MissMoneyFairy · 27/05/2026 14:09

0livesandcheese · 27/05/2026 14:08

Ok it’s a friend. She does not have a job or hobby that would mean she had bruises on her upper arms. Would it be acceptable to ask?

Yes, I'd just say oh that looks sore, is everything OK or be a bit lighthearted.

Original poster
0livesandcheese · 27/05/2026 14:08

IchiNiSanShiGo · 27/05/2026 14:07

Has she attempted to hide the bruises?

I don’t know. The weather was hot and she had a T-shirt on this time so no but it would be hard to wear long sleeves in this weather

OP posts:
Original poster
0livesandcheese · 27/05/2026 14:08

Ok it’s a friend. She does not have a job or hobby that would mean she had bruises on her upper arms. Would it be acceptable to ask?

OP posts:
IchiNiSanShiGo · 27/05/2026 14:07

Has she attempted to hide the bruises?

MaryBeardsShoes · 27/05/2026 14:06

MyMilchick · 27/05/2026 13:58

I bruise so easily, I nearly always have bruises on my arms and legs, 99% of them I have no idea how they got there!

Me too, I’m always covered in bruises and couldn’t tell you where from!

MissMoneyFairy · 27/05/2026 14:06

What is your relationship with this person, are you happy to just ask them, you know about their sex life so guess you're pretty close

SharkPants · 27/05/2026 14:04

I work in a specialist school. We always have bruises and worry what people might think. Do you know what she does for a living?