To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

I suppose you can distinguish between;

a) why did you say that you absolute plank

b) you said that to be nasty because you are an inadequate

We probably all do a) sometimes. b) is the one that women seem to get a lot from men

I had the most bizarre experience a couple of weeks ago - a guy came up to me the train platform of our nearest station (about ten miles away from the town lives in) to say that he lives in the same town as me (I don't actually love in the town but in a village a bit further out but I didn't tell him that) and always saw my DH and I out walking with rucksacks and he wanted to know what was in our rucksacks. Total stranger and I was on my own. I was so taken aback by it I just said "stuff for the day". He then asked me where I was going and I said "for a day out" at which point I think he realised how weird he was coming across and started to back away.

I wish it had occurred fo me quicker to ask whether he was going to ask the woman further down the platform what she was carrying in her handbag. Or were handbags ok but not rucksacks.

Honestly why would he think that was ok.

It’s always men. Aged 30+, almost always either bald and/or grossly uneducated beyond high school and driving some clapped out motor.

It's a really, really different beast and I'm sure you know that. Men saying belittling, patronising, humiliating or just bafflingly obvious/stupid things to women is, as this thread ably demonstrates, a massive and universal Thing. It seems to stem from men wanting attention, even if that attention is negative. I don't think women say mean things to other women for attention. I certainly don't think women are immune from making unpleasant comments, but this thread is about the very well observed phenomenon of men (often in middle/elderly age) feeling the need to make pointless, inane commentary on a random and unknown woman's activity or general existence. It happens all the fucking time, and we're fed up with it. If you want to raise a thread about Mean Girlz and the Mean Things They Say, go ahead. Otherwise, kindly shelve your Whataboutery. We on this thread know very well what we're talking about.

So you think women dont say nasty things to other women.

Absolutely not being unreasonable, they are twats !

I live in a village come town (with the 3 new estates) and there is now a growing number of twats around.
Many older men here would have offered help ( not my husband ! ) but maybe that is because I am retired.

I hate this too. Unwelcome inane comments from unfunny men who often get offended when you don’t laugh at their poor attempts to engage.

That's erm.... a bit of a (being kind to them) reach

I see you all over MN. Are you actually capable of making a pleasant or supportive comment, ever? It seems like your MO on here is just to be snide to as many other posters as you can.

Why is this still happening? I used to get harassed every single time I left the house when I was younger. It’s not all men, but it’s always men. It doesn’t matter what a girl or woman looks like or what she’s wearing, men think they have the right to comment. I’m just glad my kids don’t have to take public transport.

My car broke down (no power), and someone (male) helpfully suggested I put on the hazard lights.

Wish I had been able to think of that with my tiny female brain, and maybe if he had not just driven off when I said "no power" he could have shown me how to get them working with no power to the car at all

They are not lonely! Or if they are, it’s because their special charm school repels nearly everyone.

They are just immature. I blame the parents

Yes, I hate this BS about "maybe they're lonely". If they are so lonely then why is it ONLY younger women they try to seek out?

Why is it never other men to strike up conversations with? if you were genuinely lonely you'd surely have no issues making conversations with your own gender

Once after having a bit of a emotional conversation with a friend about grief (losing a parent), feeling a bit fragile…walking back to the car a man in his 50’s came up to me and screamed in my ear. Walked away laughing with his friends.
I must of looked sad/serious before he did it…totally fucked up.

Maybe true but it's funny that these lonely men never engage other men in chit chat.

That’s not a bad idea. You should just shout that back at them 😂

Oh that triggered a memory! I am in my 50s and go swimming as rehab. I'm also extremely body conscious so i wear a swimming shorts and a rash vest. One man said to me 'Why have you come swimming in your clothes?'. I'm actually deaf in one ear and couldn't hear him so i asked 'I'm sorry?' He repeated it and i still didn't hear so said 'I'm sorry, I did not hear you?' and he spat at me 'Fucking bitch' and swam off. (I did hear that!). I was so surprised and the lady next to me told me what it was he had said and she said 'He's always making stupid commnets'.

Ha yes. The dreaded MiL 😁

Please may I borrow this one? Quality

Oh cool, so the people here that have described attempts at them being humiliated in public, all the way through to lewd comments about their pre pubescent daughters or actual sexual abuse should just ‘shrug it off’?

This thread has been both depressing and reaffirming. For any men in the chat, most of us have had years of unsolicited and frankly unwanted comments, attention, or physical touches from men. We’ve had enough. Leave us alone. This has given me some inspiration and a few quotes to take out into the wild with me should I get bothered by a weirdo which I’m sure will be the case any time soon.

WTAF that's disgusting. I hope you reported him, though I imagine you had other things on your mind.

I despair honestly at the number of these comments you get, and always to women. Always. 'Oh wow you parked that car well love, I didn't think you'd get in there!'. 'Cheer up'. 'Smile or your face might freeze like that'. 'How did you fit all your stuff in that tiny bag, my wife packs ten times as much' [at the airport] etc. I usually just glare at them and quite happily accept the 'miserable bitch' or the like that follows. Unless I think they are being genuine and just lonely which I think probably was the case with parking man. Also the mansplaining. I love that though as it gives you the opportunity to show your skills eg you shouldn't open the fuel cap like that- I'm actually a professional racing driver mate. Etc. They are very fragile beings though the menz, it definitely doesn't hurt to pretend you are SO grateful for their wisdom if you need to keep them onside.

Laughing maniacally with wide open eyes and throwing your head back is normally a way to shut them up

The ambulance driver said that to me as I accompanied my baby daughter as we’re ding transferred to the children’s hospital. She died later.

I took a puppy for a walk at lunch time. It was a bit silly and jumping around but it was a spaniel so thats what they do. I was waiting for it to slightly chill out when this man says they get bigger you know.

I mean what the actual fuck. No words. I said I know we have 20. That shut him up.