To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

Yes, and unless someone specifies, I'm not sure it's worth getting overwrought.

I worked for a short time for people who unquestionably were verbally abusive. But it never occurred to me to call them that, or to expect pity. I just said they were difficult, annoying people.

It's all abuse though - verbal abuse, domestic violence etc etc

Not really. There's verbal abuse, verbal and emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse.

I do think the "cheer up love" thing is very much of its time though. I certainly haven't heard it for a few decades and only from older men back then. I've never heard my age group or younger saying anything like this.

That seems like a very dangerous slippery slope.

It would be interesting to see a man carefully explaining that his insult was, in fact, gender-neutral.

This whole thing has strayed very far from the original details, where you'd be hard-pressed to prove that “Are you sure you can handle that dog?” qualifies as "abuse."

You can call it abuse all you like, but when attacks of insults, and attacks of screaming, and attacks of beating are being lumped together under the heading of "abuse," you do women a disservice.

Immensely true I'd imagine 💚

Oh God, sorry. Were they Polish by any chance? Still v sexist over there 🙄 (I have family there). Even the Polish women are sexist and say that English wives are deemed lazy because over there the vast majority of women still do all the cooking, cleaning etc.....its like they compete with each other as to who makes the best food etc or has the cleanest house 🙈.....it must be bloody exhausting!...AND they work outside the house aswell. My poor cousin is run ragged (she's a primary school headmistress AND a homemaker). They're all Stepford wives alongside having careers.....knackering! (Way too much of keeping up with the Jones's). Much prefer our less judgy, live and let live attitude here in the UK!

They are just so pathetic - I pity their families, who must have to put up with this nonsense non-stop!

Reminds me of the gardeners we had over to sort things last summer - they asked if we could move our car and then made a massive fuss over me doing it (literally called all the other men over to congratulate me for being able to drive a manual car, went on about how my dad must be proud as he must have taught me).

They were foreign, and I think they genuinely meant it as a compliment but it was so bloody patronising! Felt like telling them that actually my dad has never set foot in a car with me and I had a female driving instructor.

After years of having to constantly make cups of tea etc. for tradesmen (plus the little plates of biscuits, glasses of juice every hour) and being thorough talked down-to, dismissed and told I don't know what I want, I now just get my husband to sort it. He's the stay-at-home parent anyway (I'm WFH). Funnily, he rarely gets asked for anything and they usually refuse a cuppa if he offers...

That’s good to read about the first prosecution. I’ll be really interested to hear what the sentencing will be. I hope the court sends the right message.

it must have been so scary for that woman

I came here to say this.

It’s an interesting law. It is being used. It would have covered some of the conduct I experience as a woman. Generally when I was younger you were just supposed to put up with it.

www.lbc.co.uk/article/passenger-convicted-first-sex-based-harassment-highbury-5HjdYpr_2/

street harassment based on sex is now illegal

“The Protection from Sex-based Harassment in Public Act 2023 creates a specific criminal offence in England and Wales for intentionally causing harassment, alarm, or distress to a person in public because of their sex or presumed sex. It applies to verbal abuse, stalking, and offensive gestures”

www.gov.uk/government/news/cracking-down-on-sex-based-harassment-in-public

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2023/47

While not everything described in this thread would be covered by this law, some of it certainly is.

Name calling, threatening behaviour, unwanted yelling =‘verbal abuse.

Name-calling and sexual harassment are abuse. So is threatening behaviour.

I was not talking about just one situation. There are many stories in this thread that women have been screamed and called bitch, another where a man made rasperries and calling her a disgusting bitch, etc. That, is abuse.

The point is to stop calling it "abuse."

There is NO way that this situation could be construed as abuse. By latching onto "abuse," it just opens the door for women to perpetually see themselves as victims. If something is just rudeness, or intrusiveness, or insensitively, be accurate and call it that - don't make things worse by imagining it to be abuse.

Totally with you on this one.

My car broke down last summer and it just so happened I'd decided to wear a nice dress that day to work as it was so hot - I ended up getting constantly shouted at out of van windows, lewd remarks and so many 'can't park there love' comments being shouted at me, one man screamed at me, I genuinely told the breakdown company there was no way I couldn't wait with my car as I felt unsafe. I was so annoyed and already upset about my car! It was so unnecessary and pointless.

I am probably disturbed but I quite enjoy it unless it's something really nasty. I am quick to give it back in the same vein. Sometimes it's people just lonely, trying to connect with others. Sometimes it's creeps. but there is a difference.

Just menopausal and not in the fucking mood to have some rando council worker comment on my parking in my own street esp when it was perfect parking! It’s the gift of being middle aged - literally don’t give a toss anymore about being polite to misogynistic pricks.

I expect he thought he was being funny referencing kicking a ninja, not you. Maybe trying to lighten the mood for you if he saw you were stressed. Would'v3e been more helpful offering to help you carry it. Men sometimes try & do something they think is helpful or funny & it just doesn't land right. & the fact some are just idiots that don't think before they open their mouth.

You must be a southerner with your antisocial attitude lol

The last man who said something stupid to me - a couple of days ago- I just said ‘ Would you make that inane comment to a random man you didn’t know, or would worry that he’d punch your stupid face for saying it?’

Felt great. And he actually went to speak but thought better of it…

This is disgusting. I’m so sorry. Just awful.

I was stood at a bus stop outside a school many years ago, heavily pregnant, when some random drove past and screamed “whore!” at me. Delightful.

What a scum-bag.

My 9yo was pushing our trolley in Aldi recently when an old man said to her, “look out! Woman driver!”
Without thinking, I responded, “sexiest much?”

Sure, I guess he thought he was being funny and/or cute, but I’m just done with such normalised and casual misogyny. Reinforcing to my girls that this shit is unacceptable is more important than some random bloke’s feelings.