To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

Cute, but that's not the question.
The question would have been: Would you you rather have a physical disease like cancer, which is frightening, may well involve all kinds of pain, which may wreck your family, where there may well be many decisions to make with no good solution, where your control is minimal, with a high chance of death - or would you rather have a mental disease with no physical pain, where you may function well, where there is a strong possibility where you might have some painless options (by "painless" I mean not like radiation/chemotherapy) for good success? It's absurd to imagine that all depression would end in death by suicide.

Cute, but that's not the question.
The question would have been: Would you you rather have a physical disease like cancer, which is frightening, may well involve all kinds of pain, which may wreck your family, where there may well be many decisions to make with no good solution, where your control is minimal, with a high chance of death - or would you rather have a mental disease with no physical pain, where you may function well, where there is a strong possibility where you might have some painless options (by "painless" I mean not like radiation/chemotherapy) for good success? It's absurd to imagine that all depression would end in death by suicide.

It was my example, when I was objecting to the overuse of "abuse."

err… the choosing between depression and cancer was your post, not ‘other posters getting side tracked’.

It has nothing to do with the OP's original story. Other posters got side-tracked, as often happens.

What the hell has this got to do with stupid comments from random men?

Why would anyone ever need to decide if they would prefer cancer or depression?

This thread has taken a ridiculous diversion.

Cute, but that's not the question.
The question would have been: Would you you rather have a physical disease like cancer, which is frightening, may well involve all kinds of pain, which may wreck your family, where there may well be many decisions to make with no good solution, where your control is minimal, with a high chance of death - or would you rather have a mental disease with no physical pain, where you may function well, where there is a strong possibility where you might have some painless options (by "painless" I mean not like radiation/chemotherapy) for good success? It's absurd to imagine that all depression would end in death by suicide.

Oh for the love of all that is holy.
Alan Rickman died from cancer.
Chester Bennington died from suicide, after fighting mental illness and addiction for years.
Both a loss for their friends and family (and fans), but one much more shocking.
I'd rather die from a physical illness than suicide.

OMG. Depression can absolutely lead to suicide. Neither cancer or depression is preferable.

Recently had a Sainsbury’s delivery. The delivery driver clocks that we have a couple of quite nice sports cars on the drive. He then says to me whilst my husband is unpacking , “does he let you drive them!?” , clearly referring that my husband must own them and as a woman I will need permission to drive the cars!!
cancelled my delivery subscription a few days later as it sincerely pissed me right off!!

Oh for the love of all that is holy.
Alan Rickman died from cancer.
Chester Bennington died from suicide, after fighting mental illness and addiction for years.
Both a loss for their friends and family (and fans), but one much more shocking.
I'd rather die from a physical illness than suicide.

Agree. With my ex, I remember thinking I’d rather he punched me in the face. That’s a very clear ‘wrong’ and I wouldn’t have to second guess myself or if I was being too sensitive or whatever. The words over the years broke me down.

Agree. With my ex, I remember thinking I’d rather he punched me in the face. That’s a very clear ‘wrong’ and I wouldn’t have to second guess myself or if I was being too sensitive or whatever. The words over the years broke me down.

Has nothing to do with it being women. I'd say the same for men.

And, sure, many people will tell you that depression is as awful as a "real" illness, too. But if you ask most people if they'd rather have cancer or be depressed, or whether they rather have someone physically beat them enough to need medical care or rather have a few random strangers make rude remarks, I'm pretty sure they'd choose the second option.

Has nothing to do with it being women. I'd say the same for men.

And, sure, many people will tell you that depression is as awful as a "real" illness, too. But if you ask most people if they'd rather have cancer or be depressed, or whether they rather have someone physically beat them enough to need medical care or rather have a few random strangers make rude remarks, I'm pretty sure they'd choose the second option.

Absolutely. My ex was verbally abusive (never physically although he did wall me up and scream in my face a few times!)....but the constant undermining, ignoring, gaslighting and criticising was enough to break me down. It absolutely IS abuse!

Has nothing to do with it being women. I'd say the same for men.

And, sure, many people will tell you that depression is as awful as a "real" illness, too. But if you ask most people if they'd rather have cancer or be depressed, or whether they rather have someone physically beat them enough to need medical care or rather have a few random strangers make rude remarks, I'm pretty sure they'd choose the second option.

Cheer up love, you're making the rest of us miserable

Well, that's nice. Many DV experts believe it is the psychological abuse that victims endure - which is verbal and emotional abuse - that causes the most lingering harm.

Dismissing and minimising women's experience as you have been doing on this thread is quite a choice.

Well, that's nice. Many DV experts believe it is the psychological abuse that victims endure - which is verbal and emotional abuse - that causes the most lingering harm.

Dismissing and minimising women's experience as you have been doing on this thread is quite a choice.

Yes, and unless someone specifies, I'm not sure it's worth getting overwrought.

I worked for a short time for people who unquestionably were verbally abusive. But it never occurred to me to call them that, or to expect pity. I just said they were difficult, annoying people.

Yes, and unless someone specifies, I'm not sure it's worth getting overwrought.

I worked for a short time for people who unquestionably were verbally abusive. But it never occurred to me to call them that, or to expect pity. I just said they were difficult, annoying people.