To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

Oh this reminds me of a time when I was about 20 and terrified that I might be pregnant (I wasn’t luckily) but I went to a supermarket to buy a test and it set the alarms off as I walked out. The security guard searched my bag and when he saw the test started leering at me and saying how lucky the man I was sleeping with was.

Another time when I was about 19, and looked about 15, I was on the bus with my then boyfriend and some stranger asked if he could have “twos on his missus” another time we walked past some drunk bloke who looked and me and said to my boyfriend “oh I would like to have a go on that”

Fucking tossers

I'm female and 6'2. The number of ''men'' over the years who have grunted ''No doubt the rain reaches you first'' and ''Bloody hell, with your reach you could move the clouds''.

They also say similar to short woman. ''The rain obviously hits you the last'' and ''It's about time you grew some inches''.

My friend S is in her 60s, only ''4'9 tall. She's had such comments all her life, as if she could just suddenly grow 7 inches!

But these so-called men who are convinced they're exceedingly funny and intelligent NEVER say such things to other men of any height, only women, as they don't think we have the intelligence to notice when they grunt at us, and grunting is all they're able to do!

S and I have never married/no kids by choice. She's gay, I'm not, but neither of us wants ''men'' in our lives, controlling us and being sarcastic and woman-hating.

I’m so sorry he put you through that. Nasty vile man!

Yup. I was even told once that my dog ‘doesn’t respect me’ he was only about 6 months old at the time and still a puppy. And this was after said random man walked up to him to greet him without checking first, wound my puppy up and he jumped up at him 🙄

Ah yes the 'banter brigade' who think theyre hilarious and witty when actually theyre just ducks showing off to their mates. I just ignore it - if theyre thst insecure thst they have to make themselves feel better by mocking others that says it all.

In my first ever job, I was constantly hit on by the boss. It was a training position and I had to be there a year and have completed certain tasks competently and have a 'practical book' signed off by him.

It was a nightmare as although I was 17, I had led a sheltered life and his attentions just made me very ill. The thought of him even touching me made me want to puke. He tried to install me in a flat that he was paying for and it was constant. He sexually assaulted me at a small celebration one afternoon, shortly before my year was up and told me if I didn't have sex with him, he wouldn't sign my book.

I refused and he became angry and he didn't speak to me the last six weeks. I arrived at work one day with the book signed and my P45.

He had his 30th birthday while I worked for him except.....I looked him up recently on the internet and he can't have been 30 during that year, he would have been 36. A 36yo man trying to shag a just 17yo.

Problem is if you respond ‘f off’ they just go ‘can’t take a joke can you’. I just ignore. Or roll my eyes. I do worry about my uni aged DD though, who looks younger - she has had a few weirdo encounters. Asshole drunk uni students she can deal with, men twice her age she finds creepy and doesn’t have the confidence yet to just tell them to fuck off.

I'm so sorry. It's horrible isn't it? These men don't realise the affect they can have. Or perhaps they do and don't care. I was also 27, got told to "cheer up, give us a smile, might never happen" when I was walking down the street. It was my first day back at work (and close to Christmas) since my sister had died of cancer aged 25.

I walked up to him, he said it again, defiantly at me and I quietly told him that my sister had just died and I didn't appreciate him telling me to "cheer up" as if I owed him a smile. His face fell and he apologised but the damage was done. Men like him know just how to push women's buttons and it makes them feel big and important when really they are just punching down because they see women as "below" them and therefore deserving of unsolicited comments in the street. Arseholes. They'd never do it to another man. Misogyny at it's worst.

i turned around and said "it already has" once, not because of something tragic, but because the commentor annoyed me.

Oh my god I love your response!

i don’t even have words for this 😢

Oh god and when I was in my early twenties and out in the pub with friends and some really drunk bloke shouted out along the lines of " I wouldn't sleep with anyone... I mean I wouldn't sleep with her" and pointed at me for the whole room to hear. No one said anytime. Wish I had the guts! But not sure what I would have said to the rude idiot.

Oh and Just reminded when I had my first child, he was in my buggy and the wheel broke randomly (second hand buggy) so I was struggling trying to push it on three wheels and some bloke walked past and went ' your prams broke" no shit Sherlock!!!

I bike to work and over the years it's always men that love to shout random things at me " get your knees up" or make stupid noises or shout out of the window if cars . My fave is biking home ( dark) and drunk men in cycle lane I go round them and one shouts where's your nights??? ( They were on and shining directly at them)

My DC were roped into a charity event at a local club, which is the fiefdom of the village dickhead and his horrible gf (yes, there is history and let’s just say I’m friends with both their ex partners). I didn’t go, as can’t bear to be anywhere near these two and DH is better at hiding his disdain.

Event was in aid of some sort of men/shed/talking/socialisation/sadness prevention type charity. DH was a bit shocked when I said that there was probably a reason why many men are sad, lonely and friendless and I expect it has much to do with their unlikeable personalities.

Obviously I’m a terrible misandrist.😳

I was quietly waiting to receive my Costa coffee the other day, when the man behind me started ‘holding court’ with the young female servers (who dutifully smiled and responded) and tried to engage me. My face must have said it all. I seem to have perfected a look similar to one of these images.

My first job at 16 was in a Pizza Express 2 towns over. 10pm finish and a late train home. I was a bit nervous but felt I’d be safe with plenty of people around in a town centre. I’d get the train to my town where my parents would pick me up.

Not even 2 weeks in a drunk man tried to drag me into an alleyway just after I’d left work and was walking down the bustling high street. I kept telling him to stop. Nobody intervened. It was a Saturday night and the high street was teeming with adults. He eventually got distracted by another drunk man who he went to go and pick a fight with but I’m certain he’d have tried to rape me

Similar happened to me. A lorry driver stopped his vehicle to approach me and ask for my number (2004). I was 14 and looked it. There were multiple adults around as it was near a busy bus stop and not one of them intervened or asked of I was ok.

Sadly he lost his seat to Dan Norris last election. He was an excellent constituency MP despite the eccentricity so I'm not surprised he helped your relatives.

Norris of course is now banned from Westminster due to being under police investigation for a whole string of offences so they (and I) have no effective representation at Parliament.

Well the discussion I was replying to was about relationships between men...

Ah so that's the theme that men giving women unsolicited and unwanted advice in the gym swap to when outside.

The blatantly rude comments prove they are desperate for any reaction. Pathetic 🙄.

The explanation for men's support groups to understand their difficulties apart, you're missing the point that they generally say these bon mots only to women.

OP YANBU.

I once had an older guy stop me in Tesco. He said 'hi Tracy'. I replied that my name isn't Tracy. He said 'well you look just like her'. I replied well I'm not her. He then said 'well she's tall as well'. I replied that it was obviously someone else and walked off!

Yup, it's a form of attention seeking. From making loud noises to a random unwanted comment they can't help themselves.

You misunderstand the nature of those groups. Men's groups tend to be solely activity-based. They are only interested in the activity and not the people. The people are only there so they aren't doing it alone.

'Big Rob' might like drinking with 'Stevie B' when watching a football match, but Big Rob would never go around to Stevie B's house for a cup of tea and ask for advice on his relationship.

If you don't know what I mean, watch the scene from the Inbetweeners when Jay tries to ask his dad for advice about a relationship and his dad doesn't take him seriously and acts like a dick.

10 points to Slytherin