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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

588 replies

shutityouduffer · 27/05/2026 13:52

This gets me so fuming. Name changed.

Today I have no car with me. I have to collect something from the post office as it’s needed for a family holiday, we’re setting off early tomorrow. For reference it’s a tabletop barbecue. It said on the John Lewis website it was 12kg and I thought I’d be ok to pick it up myself.

I get the parcel and it’s massive, i cant get my arms around it, and turns out the gross weight of the package is over 20kg. iThe post office is only a 10-min walk from mine, so I pick it up and attempt to carry it, awkwardly and in 25 degree weather.

Now this bbq has “SHARKNINJA” written on the side of the box. A man walks past, can see I’m struggling. He chooses to say, very loudly at me, “SHARK NINJA.” I say yes, trying to move past him. He then turns to his mate and says “I should’ve kicked it.” Wtf???? it doesn’t even make sense - what goes through this man’s head?

Another incident last week - I’m walking my golden retriever, he’s a puppy not yet neutered, but dogs on both sides of the road take exception to him and start barking at him (happens a lot with unneutered males) so I whisk him out into the road to avoid both sets of dogs. No traffic. He’s a softy and he paws at me, because he’s stressed (he wants to be picked up for reference). Man on the pavement shouts, again with a mate, “are you sure you can handle that dog?” As I’m trying to get him safely back onto the pavement. Again what is the point??? I don’t even acknowledge it and then his mate shouts after me, “he was only joking!”

AIBU to be sent into a rage by these stupid comments? I should say a couple of (different) men offered to help with the package and were very kind, so I have no general vendetta against men. But it’s never women making unasked for, unhelpful and rude comments when I’m already visibly stressed out…

OP posts:
Thiswasanescapeplan · 28/05/2026 22:36

A Thesaurus is a living relative of the dinosaur family. It comes and gobbles up people who don't use grammar, punctuation and spelling correctly on purpose.

ScartlettSole · 28/05/2026 22:33

BunnyLake · 27/05/2026 14:22

Yes it’s never women who make these stupid remarks. I’d offer help if I could but making stupid, pointless, unhelpful remarks has never been on my (female) radar. I actually heard a man old enough to be her father, tell a young woman to ‘smile’ a few month’s ago. Poor girl just smiled weakly, I’m old enough now to have glared at him instead.

Never women except mother-in-laws. Apparently they do according to mum's net on the daily 😂

Morepositivemum · 28/05/2026 22:24

Op don’t hate me but I laughed at his I should have kicked it because- ninja. I’m so sorry but it’s been a long day and I just snorted as I read it.

Galaxylights · 28/05/2026 22:23

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Sense.

Galaxylights · 28/05/2026 22:23

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You're.

Thiswasanescapeplan · 28/05/2026 22:23

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You mean you're sat next to your mother, using your parents' WiFi.

MrJoeBangles · 28/05/2026 22:21

You think that asking a woman to get her t**s out is humorous?
And if it was your wife, girlfriend or daughter?
You are no man at all.

PoliteGreyDreamer · 28/05/2026 22:18

handsdownthebest · 27/05/2026 14:31

I usually use my middle finger for those kind of blokes and that usually shuts them up.

I did that to a chugger who was harassing me last week and got sworn at.

I did that to the driver of a car who was up my arse on the motorway and they kept on swerving infront of me and braking.

Men are getting nastier ime. Or maybe I'm getting older?

MyGentleGoldTurtle · 28/05/2026 22:17

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MyGentleGoldTurtle · 28/05/2026 22:15

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Thiswasanescapeplan · 28/05/2026 22:14

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Hope their spelling is better than yours.

"They are" or "they're" would be the correct homophone you seek.

MyGentleGoldTurtle · 28/05/2026 22:13

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MyGentleGoldTurtle · 28/05/2026 22:11

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DollydaydreamTheThird · 28/05/2026 22:10

I must look really unapproachable as I don't seem to get these unsolicited comments.😂

MyGentleGoldTurtle · 28/05/2026 22:09

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MyGentleGoldTurtle · 28/05/2026 22:07

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Theunamedcat · 28/05/2026 22:06

My youngest is autistic and irrationally afraid of jumping black dogs he is also almost the same size as me and FAST bloke let's his dog on a long lead approach ds i put myself in between dog and ds and prepare to grab him (occasionally he is ok walking past) he jumps I grab im struggling to stop him diving into traffic man with dog is more concerned with berating me for raising a dog hater and wanting to murder his dog apparently he is more concerned about having his say than pulling his dog away from ds lady walks past MOVE YOUR DOG AWAY he turned to berate her i got ds away safely

yes im aware he should be taught to like dogs and the thing is he DOES like dogs he has even helped walk a dog a black dog at that! He is unpredictable and there is not a lot that we can do

LittleMi55Nobody · 28/05/2026 22:04

uabu.....for not telling them to fuck off

MrJoeBangles · 28/05/2026 21:56

A girl I used to work with, mind you she could handle herself and I understand that not everyone has the confidence to carry it off (and neither should anyone have to btw) but she got cat-called when walking past a building site by one neanderthal male who called out, "Come on luv, show us yer t**s!"

Ally marched straight over to him and, in front of his mates, said, "Sure! No problem. Show me what you've got first!........Come on......Don't be shy.......Get it out.......Let's have a look!.......It must be something special.......Phwoaaarrr!"

The moron just stood there, humiliated and not knowing what to say.

She went on. "Awww,.......Is it a liddle biddy dinky one?.......Doesn't want to come out in front of all your fwends?"

The guy was crimson when she finished of with, "Smile darlin'.......It might never happen!", befor walking away.

But yes, it's 2026 and no female should have to put up with shit like this. It shames us all.

exaltedwombat · 28/05/2026 21:52

Ninjas do martial arts like kick boxing. A shark one would be pretty dangerous and might need taking down. Not the funniest of jokes, but a harmless one.

BashfulClam · 28/05/2026 21:43

O got told to ‘cheer up love it might never happen!’ I stared at them and said ‘My father passed away last night. Any other stupid comments you want to make?’ Seriously what had my face got to do with them?

I live in a new build estate and often there is work going on. One morning I asked if it was ok to walk across a covering at a site entrance. The workie said ‘well unless you can fly’ then seemed to think he was hilarious. I just walking bemused. Then every fucking morning he’d make an ‘oooh’ sound and waggle his fingers and stand on tiptoe like he was levitating. I started walking the long way as my withering looks had no effect and it was every fucking day!!!! Then one day he did it front of a much younger co -worker who said ‘what the fuck are you doing?’ As he explained the younger guy just said ‘that’s cringey as hell mate!’ which did stop it.

then one morning I went out and ‘levitation man’ was helping another guy tape off an area and it was raining. He had to comment ‘why don’t you have a hood or brolly? I know you ladies don’t usually like to get your hair wet!’ I stopped and said ‘you ladies? Are you usually so sexist or is today a special occasion!’ As I walked away I just spat the word ‘Prick!’ I am ND and find ‘banter’ confusing and upsetting. Why did he have to ruin every morning? Just shut up!!!

glam11 · 28/05/2026 21:42

5128gap · 27/05/2026 14:28

They want your attention and are past the age of being able to pull on your skirt and say "Lady! lady! look at me I'm Spiderman I am!"

That’s made me LOL!

BurtsBeefCrisps · 28/05/2026 21:30

I had to drive up a short street, reverse, go back down it and then park on a corner in a slightly awkward angle. Long story but it was to pick up my daughter who was waiting for fish and chips. Lots of Boomer type men waiting outside the fish shop, they commented at every stage of my driving. In the end, I did a kind of running commentary very loudly, along the lines of ‘whoah, this is great fun, being observed on every element of my driving, best day of my life, etc etc’
They stopped.

Peterdottir · 28/05/2026 21:30

Squirrel60 · 28/05/2026 10:02

I'm female and 6'2. The number of ''men'' over the years who have grunted ''No doubt the rain reaches you first'' and ''Bloody hell, with your reach you could move the clouds''.

They also say similar to short woman. ''The rain obviously hits you the last'' and ''It's about time you grew some inches''.

My friend S is in her 60s, only ''4'9 tall. She's had such comments all her life, as if she could just suddenly grow 7 inches!

But these so-called men who are convinced they're exceedingly funny and intelligent NEVER say such things to other men of any height, only women, as they don't think we have the intelligence to notice when they grunt at us, and grunting is all they're able to do!

S and I have never married/no kids by choice. She's gay, I'm not, but neither of us wants ''men'' in our lives, controlling us and being sarcastic and woman-hating.

Does that still happen to you though? I'm also female and the same height and it happened all the time when i was teens/20s but hasn't happened for years now.

Thiswasanescapeplan · 28/05/2026 21:22

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Did he just mansplain misogyny

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