To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

😆😆 I took it as should’ve kicked the box down the road as it was too heavy!
Yes don’t understand these comments or the reason for them..maybe it’s their only way of communicating with women.Seems to be a certain age also ie I don’t hear it so much from younger men and they are generally more polite,helpful and dare I say it normal

Yes, of course. I'm just saying that for me, personally, it wouldn't have bothered me. I'm from 'up North'. Generally speaking, us Northerners tend to be more chatty and openly friendly with strangers....but I agree he shouldn't have got arsey and, yes, we're all different.

Horses for courses. I'm more the 'silent' type

The post you quoted stated the man got arsey with her when she didn’t want to engage conversation. Many people don’t enjoy small talk, it’s not uncommon. Can’t people be left to go about their business without someone trying to force them to make conversation about bread?

Yep. Each to their own.....:)

For you maybe

Well I would've chatted to him...to my mind he was just being friendly....I often strike up conversation in the supermarket queue... makes for a more pleasant day

Agree. Mine is a geek as well. He wouldn’t dream of even interacting with women (or anyone!) while
out and about unless he absolutely had to. He’s the least threatening man I have ever met

Yeah, you can always rely on a geek.

Yes to not encouraging them. I wouldn't go there. Well, he can't be that lonely if he's buying all those loaves of bread

This made me laugh. The other thing that annoys me in public (I've seen both men and women do it) is when they start randomly humming or singing out loud, especially when it's background music in a supermarket and one of them starts bursting into song along to the music. They seem to want to advertise their presence but I just want to buy groceries.

Don't get either comment, especially the kicking one. Presumably had something to do with a Ninja. I would just ignore them. The only unsolicited comment I've had recently was from a man in Tesco who was watching me checking out a pack of mackerel. In a very friendly, awkward way (ND was coming through loud and clear), he explained in some detail how nice it was to add said mackerel to an omelette with some cheese. Best thing he'd ever tasted. I liked the comment but didn't encourage. We could have been there all day.

How sad it must be to be the kind of person to wish someone eternal aggravation based on one momentary online thread - especially on a thread that solicits opinions.

Sadly victim blaming is endemic in our society. One form it takes is accusing victims of abuse of ‘having a victim mentality’.

While I do recognise that some people can become unhealthily identified with a victim status, far far more common is victims who both blame themselves, and are blamed by others and society, for what was done to them by a perpetrator.

Part of recovery is putting the blame where it belongs, with the perpetrators.

It’s important to recognise who benefits from a victim blaming culture: perpetrators.

@MsAmerica As for you, I wish you nothing but warm pillows when you want a cool spot and stones in your shoes forevermore. This was a fun thread until you started derailing it chatting shite about the semantics of abuse and arguing about depression being a 'real' illness. You're either being contrary or have zero imagination or empathy.

Oh sweetheart. Most definitely, seeing your other post. Never had anything that awful happen to me, I'm sorry you had to go through that. 💐 You take care as well. ❤️

Absolutely I've been through extremely rough times so speak from experience.... which means I'm so grateful for the little things and don't take peace for granted. Take care ❣️

I'm clearly and have always been talking about clinical depression...not a low mood or frustration because you were passed over for promotion.

You can be depressed because you were sexually abused by your dad and as a result of (subconscious) low self worth ended up spending a decade as an adult in a controlling and emotionally abusive relationship. Adverse childhood experiences absolutely shatter your serotonin system and that can lead to a lifetime of challenging mental health difficulties alongside physical challenges such a fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, binge eating, self harm etc....
Nobody should diminish the pain of sexual and emotional abuse and the crippling depression and physical lifelong challenges it can bring.

Yes, there ARE cases of depression where it can ruin people's lives. That can be said of a lot of things. But it also needn't be true. As a matter of fact, depression is something else that people often sensationalize, conveniently forgetting that you can be depressed because you were passed over for a promotion, or you can be depressed due to a rare crippling chemical imbalance.

Okay. My overall point is, it seems to me that a lot of people here seem to enjoy upping the ante with self-created melodrama in their lives.

That individual seems to not get a lot of things! I'm glad I'm not them.
Thank you. Sounds like you've been through some rough times as well. Life sucks sometimes, so let the good times roll. ❤️

I can't believe how someone doesn't get it....they've clearly never suffered to that extent to know how fucking painful it is ..... otherwise they wouldn't make such comments
I get it Sapphire ❤️

Thanks Evie, at least someone fucking gets it. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've been suicidal, it fucking sucks. There's a bravery in fighting cancer, not so much depression, judging from the recent thread about self harm. And it's not fucking painless either!

I've never had cancer, (yet,) it's one of the few things that doesn't run in my family. 🙃 Depending on the kind of cancer and how far progressed it is it can be a death sentence or survivable. When I was younger it was 1 in 3 people diagnosed, now it's 1 in 2, the likelihood of me getting it has gone up. So we'll see.

I'm what way am I avoiding the issue?? You're very strange and totally missing the point!