I was so tired, but so happy, now i’m just so tired

There are lots of really normal parents with very normal healthy children in the home ed world who are lucky enough to be doing those things for longer.

yep, i felt the same. I have four kids and home educate, i love being with them. I don’t need or want to work and find a lot of fulfilment being at home with my kids.

I hated working and sending them to nursery and didn’t love them being at school either. Everyone is a lot happier in our house with me at home.

You're not alone. I had two screamers which is why there's over a 3 year gap between ours. I needed to actually sleep again before even thinking about another one. I thought I was doubly unlucky to get a second screamer but they're both adorable teens now. Other mums were churning out seconds while my life was still a train wreck. The chances are you may have a very bright child on your hands there so there will be something to be thankful for eventually. Not always, but the ones that cry a lot often seem to be the very clever ones!

My second one nearly broke me. No sleep for many years again and sleeping in the same room etc. Now he's 14 he's adorable LOL! Absolutely no regrets 😍

Because the horses dogs and children don't pay for themselves! And why should a husband work his ass off so his wife can wait all day?

I work damn hard to pay fory horses, it's important for my daughter to see that. I don't want her growing up expecting to waft while everything is given to her.

I'm not sure why people are using OP's post as a springboard for venting their own insecurities about SAHP/WOHP. I could come on here and gripe at you ALL because i'll never be able to afford to have children at all, but it's really not the point of the thread, is it?

As a fellow IVFer with embryos in the freezer I would say if you really want to and other than age there are no reasons not to then why not? Two reasons not to do it that people like to bring up with older parents is the risk/likelihood of success (not the same concerns with frozen embryos, it's the only advantage we get with our infertility) and the child potentially losing parents younger (there are no guarantees for any of us at any age, my maternal grandma took slightly longer to have my mum, my other grandma had my dad in her early 20s but both my parents were the same age when they lost their mums as my maternal grandma lived to a much older age).

I think it is a bit unhealthy to be too enmeshed tbh

The point is you're not in your own little world

I went back to work full time 5 weeks after csec, my boss would pick me up and drop me off. DH was working for himself so at home. After 8 weeks when I could drive I was back to 24/7 on call. IT support for a factory. I missed all her first moments but it was what it was.

This is lovely to read. My DD is 19 months now.

Out of interest, do all those who love the baby/toddler years have very chilled babies?

There are people on this thread who sound like they don’t find it hard at all. Is it baby temperament? or mindset?

I love my DD but she was a very screamy newborn, walked at 8 months, and is in full on temper tantrum territory now. She still wakes several times a night and so we share a room. I don’t wish any of it away because she is also so wonderful, and I feel so happy and fulfilled… but it is hard, and I am tired. I also went back to work at 7 months pp and DP took 6 months paternity leave (so I have good support at home!) Work has seemed relatively easy since she was born - in the nicest possible way. I think another one would be a mistake for us. I feel awful saying that. I wonder why others feel so differently.

If the embryo is good, you'll likely be good. Many women have given birth in their late forties, fifties, and sixties when using donor eggs. It's been established that the eggs are the problem when it comes to age, not the uterus. And if you have an embryo, and the embryo is OK, then all should be well, all other things being equal.

Not too old.

I would have given anything to be able to be a stay at home mum when mine were little. I only worked part time but honestly hated being away from the with a passion and would have done almost anything not to have to do the juggling act that is work and kids.

you had a lovely 5 years with your dd and I get you not wanting to end. 7 is a tricky age as they’re still small, but kind of not small enough for many to justify staying home still. I got by by making the absolute most of the time I had with them. Always had fun stuff planned, whether that was going out or at home.

that said. Once they got to secondary and didn’t need me as much I think I would have always wanted to go back to work. Now I work full time as the dds are young adults. These days I enjoy spending time with them but we all have our own lives and I’m not sure what I’d do with myself if I didn’t work.

YANBU. I loved the early years with mine. I think my favourite age is 3-7 ish when they are cute and cuddly and want to be with you all the time. They’re still lovely after that though and there is more fun to be had!

I have always worked though (out of necessity). Completely loved mat leave and would probably choose to be a SAHM.
However I think it is good to role model working to children.

Some of us just prefer a simpler way of life, or not having most of our day dictated by the office.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Well, wouldn't we all! Sadly, those bills won't pay themselves.

Not to read too much into those three dots but do you think transferring the embryo would give you closure?

Is home educating an option for you? Particularly if there's a strong home ed community in your local area? I don't do it, but have a lot of friends who do and it really works for them.

The greatest gift a parent can give their child is their time and their attention.

You know that and understand it and you feel grief for a time when you could give her more time and not be controlled by the need for money and future-proofing your life.

This isn't an argument for or against SAHM or working full time.

It's the quality of the time and the attention that you give them that makes the difference - and if we're honest, we'd all love to have the CHOICE to work or not work, to choose where we spend our time. Isn't that the greatest gift? Choosing how we spend our time and with whom.