I was so tired, but so happy, now i’m just so tired

Thank you so much for this! Children are all so different. And I think you’re right that the positive side of having a screamy baby is that things get better and better! I’d only consider another when she was school
age if money and my age weren’t an issue.

@SerenaCat93 if you "have all the time in the world and do whatever you want' when you are parenting, you are definitely doing it wrong 😂

7 is a funny age because they are more independent from you but haven't yet grown up enough for some things. When my oldest hit 9 I was amazed at how much fun he became to hang out with in a different way, chatting and joking around, going to cafes together to read our books, watching some of my fave movies and shows together, doing outdoorsy stuff he had been too small for before, cooking together... there's so much great stuff ahead of you OP, I promise, and seeing who she becomes and helping her discover that.

I don’t know why people have turned this into a competition. I have worked fulltime all my kids’ lives. I like my job as an NHS hospital consultant and it’s exhausting but fulfilling. I also desperately wanted kids and was so happy to have them. I juggled work and babies and am so proud that I managed both. I am very close to my adult kids now. Identify equally as a doctor and a parent.

But OP did it differently. She wanted to stay home and loved every minute of those early years. So she and I both did what we wanted so are lucky in that way. No need for some of the comments here.

If I were in a certain mood I might say, ODFOD, but I just spent 2 hours at the splash park with my two dc.
Being a mum, a parent, is bloody difficult, it's relentless, but it's not a competition between SAHP's and those that work outside the home. Sanctimony about one being better than the other is 🥱

There is a reason people have more kids….

Not working while your child is young is fun.
I miss it. When you go back to work, it's inevitable you feel a lot more tired. There are fun times at all ages but things do get busier with each year.

7 is a wonderful age.

IME do try to enjoy every moment, rather than pine for what’s already been.

Because before you know it she’ll be in her 20s and moving out. It really does whizz by that fast!

my husband likes and mostly enjoys his job, but if we won the lottery (that we don’t even play lol) no way would he be back at work if it was enough cash! He would probably ly start his own business if the money wasn’t enough, something where he could be around for the kids. Or if the cash was plenty then some volunteering on top of what he already does now.

He absolutely loves his time with the kids, works a compressed week so is off three days out the week. When he has to go back on the monday it breaks his heart.

My baby was relatively easy. Breastfeeding was easy and they are almost never ill. No reflux or allergies. Not really inclined to have tantrums - they spoke quite early and I wonder if that meant they weren't frustrated by being unable to express themself.

They slept OK, but we co-slept (often still do) so even when they were waking every few hours we'd just go back to sleep so I'd get quite a lot of sleep in total even if it was broken into two hour chunks.

I don't think it was just having an easy baby though. I think I'm pretty calm and easy going by nature too and so not much stressed me out. We have a very calm and quiet house. So I think the environment was also conducive to a calmer baby.

OP YANBU! I know exactly what you mean, I love being a toddler mama. It’s not always easy, it can be stressful and frustrating, but it’s so utterly wonderful. You get to be their whole world and vice versa - you can leave everything else behind for a little while and just enjoy life alongside them. My 2yo is so so happy when it’s me and her (and sometimes her dad) going for a walk - she thinks it’s the best thing ever. Because their world is so new, even the small things are big things. It crushes my heart that one day she’ll stop wanting to spend all her time with me; she won’t want to stop and look at all the leaves we come across and rearrange the stones on all the paths. These little things make her so happy.
If I were you I’d seriously consider that embryo. 48 is for sure old but it’s not TOO old, most of the age issues are biological issues but they shouldn’t apply all being well. Even if it doesn’t work it might give you some closure, and if it does work it sounds like you’d love to do it all again.
I will add - even if you did go for the second embryo and it did work and you did have a second child, it doesn’t solve this problem - just pushes it down the road. I’ve got lots of kids and it’s no less bittersweet when I think of the toddler stage with my older ones - i know I’m SO lucky to get to do it again, I absolutely cherish it, but I also spend too much time preemptively feeling heartsore because I know how sad I’ll be when these days are gone. I know full well how fast this time goes and it breaks my heart even as I love this stage.

I know there are people like you, and most people would want to do something, but the average person does not love their job that much. They do it for money, because they have to.

I'm a sahm. DC is now in Reception. The last five years have been the best of my life too!

If your husband enjoyed having everything at home sorted, your enjoyed it and you can afford it, why not consider giving up work again? There are so many school holidays. The two of you could do some great trips!

Or, would retraining to work in early years in some capacity / childminding or something inspire you?

I honestly wouldnt quit my job. I suspect I am very lucky though to have a job that I genuinely enjoy and makes me feel fulfilled

All these posters being so sanctimonious about working vs sahp would quit their jobs as soon as humanly possible if they won the lottery or some other such thing. That’s why they’re doubling down so hard on it - because they have to convince themselves it’s important.

This is really sweet. The worst year of my life was being at home with a baby and a very difficult toddler. I could not have done five years of that, it almost killed me.
Now I am loving my teenagers though!

Nothing stops us having a chat, going out for a walk, baking again and why not? Desserts are always a treat...being silly discussing girly things, shopping trips....are you ok OP?

I sit everyday after work in the living room and my child who secondary age is around me.....the connection is there

She certainly makes it sound like farting around with all the "little world of our own" toddler groups and having nowhere to be but having coffee and playing all day. Many women don't want to be SAHMs they find it boring or stressful and prefer to work. Or they just think it's unfair to expect one worker to keep a whole family.

I absolutely love being a mum but I don't want to do that and only that all day every day. Many posters who are bringing this up are just fed up of SAHMS wanging on about it being the hardest job in the world and a full time job they never get a break from when we all know full well they prefer it to working because it's easier to do whatever you want and have all the time in the world.

And I'm snuggled up with my children in my room right now asleep, happy., and just us. Their innocence, such wonder at the world, endless curiosity at all the little things, running to me with a daisy picked in the park, having a vivid imagination and shrieking as they play with their toys... I think I am living my childhood again through them. And yes, i had two more children as I couldn't bear the thought of letting go of my eldest daughter, and it makes my heart fulfilled to be someone's world again ❤️

It is absolutely such a privilege to be a mum, and i do feel so lucky. Cherish every moment ✨️

Looking after a child is farting around?
Are you jealous OP was able to be a SAHP and loved it? Why on earth are you bashing a mum for loving being a mother? Issues?

Did your partner find it so great having to earn all the money whilst you farted around doing crafts and baking for 5 years?

My eldest daughter is a wonderful, incredibly intelligent, astute, and very cool 16 year old, who's become the best thing I could have wished for.

As a pp said, I'm proud of what she has become and achieved, even if I said "That was my achievement" - it's not really. It's definitely something I contributed to, but it's all her brilliance, and tenacity, hard work, alongside determined attitude and skills. She is everything I ever wanted, and I remember thinking when I was pregnant , wishing i had the best child I was able to raise.

I loved the wonder of her younger years that I had two more children, who are equally delightful and unique. Every stage of their childhood has had its own challenges, and my youngest who's 6 has certainly been the most difficult in terms of attitude and tantrums, but I wouldn't change a thing.

I definitely cherished my SAHM years of my youngest children over the past 7 years, but now I'm working part time, I'm becoming a lot more productive and back to the old me. It's certainly given me more drive, efficiency, and appreciation of the precious time I have for myself. And yes, we're still going to the same primary school as my eldest daughter, so it's really lovely seeing the teachers that taught my eldest now teaching the youngest too.