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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else’s Landlord do this? AIBU to be irritated?

239 replies

Specksofwhiteallaround · 27/05/2026 10:26

For context we’ve been renting this house from our Landlady for just over ten years now and she’s hands down the most intrusive landlord I’ve ever had. Can be very free with her opinions on how we live and has form for dropping in unannounced as she’s passing by, if she does let us know she’s coming it’s with as little notice as possible.
So fairly or not I find her very irritating generally but what’s really annoying me is the last couple of years she's developed a habit of scheduling in visits to the house every single time my son is off school. My son has autism and attends a special school, he really doesn’t like having strangers in our home which she is aware of. As my husband frequently travels for work at short notice I don’t work so she could come anytime during term time but she repeatedly turns up during the holidays, usually with one days notice and disrupts our plans. I just don’t understand why she herself wouldn’t rather come when my sons at school, everything is tidied away etc.
The last straw is her texting me at 6:30am on bank holiday Monday to say she wanted to call in at some point that afternoon to drop in some paperwork to us. She wasn’t too happy at being told we weren’t available that short notice but agreed to reschedule so now she’s coming today at some point between late morning and early afternoon so we’re wasting a day just hanging around waiting for her and I spent the hottest day of the year deep cleaning downstairs to circumvent comments on my not having hoovered over the bank holiday weekend and how my son really doesn’t need that many toys out…
Is anyone else’s landlord like this? Am I unreasonable to find this annoying and wish she’d try to schedule this in outside of the holidays?

OP posts:
Specksofwhiteallaround · 27/05/2026 15:18

fartotheleftside · 27/05/2026 15:03

Just tell her that, since you have an autistic son, you find the visits inconvenient and stressful and will, going forwards, allow one inspection per year pre arranged in advance with however much notice she legally has to give.

That's it. Don't entertain it any more. Be very direct with how disruptive the visits are.

My son literally hid behind his desk when she walked in so not sure how more obvious it can be that her coming when he’s home disrupts him 😬
Weirdly I think that because she’s known him since he was a toddler and he’s always reacted that way to her it just doesn’t translate to her that he does it because he finds people he’s not familiar with in the house hard, I think she just views it as something he does? She gives the impression of being very busy so it feels awkward trying to insist on alternative dates for short things like today’s paperwork. Only us physically not being here seems to be acceptable for us saying no. She tried a couple of times in the earlier years to suggest she could come and let in gas engineers as we were away, after being told no several times she did at least drop that, although it does remind me she has keys and worry one day she’ll use them.

OP posts:
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/05/2026 15:17

I don’t suppose it’d be worth reminding her that legally you are entitled to ‘quiet enjoyment’ of the property, which to me does not include the LL endlessly dropping in.
I say this as a LL myself.

Agapornis · 27/05/2026 15:12

Do you mean that you had to pay the increased rent from that same/next day? (illegal) Or did she make you sign it on 1 April and then you had to pay more from 1 May? (legal if your notice period was 1 month)

She cannot insist you signed it there and then, you're allowed to take time to think about it without her presence. A rent increase has to mutually agreed. It also has to be done through a Section 13 form 4. If she didn't use that form, it's an illegal rent increase.

Please try to be a bit more savvy. As a homeowner you have to be aware of scams like door to door roofing/windows people.

fartotheleftside · 27/05/2026 15:03

Just tell her that, since you have an autistic son, you find the visits inconvenient and stressful and will, going forwards, allow one inspection per year pre arranged in advance with however much notice she legally has to give.

That's it. Don't entertain it any more. Be very direct with how disruptive the visits are.

Specksofwhiteallaround · 27/05/2026 15:03

Agapornis · 27/05/2026 14:49

but seemed pointless complaining about the lack of notice

You don't need to complain and it isn't pointless. It'll save you money.

How much notice did she actually give you? And this was only verbal, not in writing? Did she send/give you a Section 13 form 4 at any point for any of the rent increases? https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/private_renting/rent_increases/periodic_tenancy

Your tenancy agreement likely states the notice period for rent increases. All you do is send an email saying "hi LandShit, thanks for your earlier visit on 15 April. As per your proposal and the 1 month notice period detailed in the tenancy agreement, we agree to the increased rent of £1005, the new rental period starting 1 June."
OR "hi LandShit, thanks for your earlier visit. Could you please put your rent increase proposal in writing? Thanks."

We can help you if you'd like us to, both with the deposit, keeping things legal, and your right to quiet enjoyment, but I don't get the impression you want to change or improve anything? It's okay if you just want to let off steam, but she is acting illegally.

The last rent increase was zero notice, no idea she was increasing it until she told us and gave us it in writing to sign right then.
Dh will be sorting out the deposit, hopefully she won’t be a problem but I think mentally I’ve written it off just in case she is.
I posted partly to vent but also to see if anyone else has had similar, everyone else I know who’s renting has landlords like our previous ones, they see them once a year and if something needs fixing only so sort of wondered are ones like ours common or are we unlucky.
We're at the stage of having the survey booked in on the house we’re hoping buy so fingers crossed it all goes well and I never have to see her again.

OP posts:
TurboGirl2 · 27/05/2026 14:51

my landlord hasn't stepped foot in my house in 13 years. I wouldn't be happy with that.

MsSquiz · 27/05/2026 14:51

Your landlord has no right to enter the property without your agreement - whatever she says she wants to do or say there!
she also has no right to pass comment on your son’s toys or your belongings within the property.

stop letting her in, stop answering the door. She is harassing you by going on this way!

Crikeyalmighty · 27/05/2026 14:50

Specksofwhiteallaround · 27/05/2026 14:24

It’s in the catchment area for my son’s special school and we live in a court away from main roads so ideal for him. There’s also few other properties in our price range which will take pets so yes we’ve put up with her for the location mostly. As we were getting closer to having the amount needed for a deposit to buy we didn’t want to waste it on a renting elsewhere and moving costs, she still irritates me no end though.

I get why you have stayed - we have stayed longer in certain places than we otherwise would due to things like location, size, timing etc

Agapornis · 27/05/2026 14:49

but seemed pointless complaining about the lack of notice

You don't need to complain and it isn't pointless. It'll save you money.

How much notice did she actually give you? And this was only verbal, not in writing? Did she send/give you a Section 13 form 4 at any point for any of the rent increases? https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/private_renting/rent_increases/periodic_tenancy

Your tenancy agreement likely states the notice period for rent increases. All you do is send an email saying "hi LandShit, thanks for your earlier visit on 15 April. As per your proposal and the 1 month notice period detailed in the tenancy agreement, we agree to the increased rent of £1005, the new rental period starting 1 June."
OR "hi LandShit, thanks for your earlier visit. Could you please put your rent increase proposal in writing? Thanks."

We can help you if you'd like us to, both with the deposit, keeping things legal, and your right to quiet enjoyment, but I don't get the impression you want to change or improve anything? It's okay if you just want to let off steam, but she is acting illegally.

Shelter icon

Section 13 rent increase notices - Shelter England

Most private landlords must use a section 13 notice if they want to put up your rent. Find out what a section 13 looks like and how to tell if it is valid.

https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/private_renting/rent_increases/periodic_tenancy

Proberts90 · 27/05/2026 14:44

Specksofwhiteallaround · 27/05/2026 14:42

I’ll hold my hands up to not challenging her over her comments to a degree but I don’t just sit there and take it either. Today for example when she made the comment about my sons toys I did reply four kallax cubes is not a lot, and they do tidy away easily when he’s at school, she just laughed and said I must need a declutter… I'm pretty sure it’s not really the amount she’s commenting on, from other comments it seems like she thinks twelve year old boys are too big for toys. After this long I’ll admit it’s easier to ignore it, I’m going getting into it with her why my son still likes his physical toys.

you said she speaks to you and your husband like children.

in this very example…. She laughs at you!!

Please please toughen up before embarking on buying your first home as you risk being v much taken advantage if if you don’t speak up

InterviewGhost · 27/05/2026 14:42

MidnightMusing5 · 27/05/2026 13:43

I’ve got family who are landlords of multiple properties. They also turn up unannounced. . In return, they don’t put up the rent very often and all their properties are rented out below market value. This in turn means they have a lot of long term tenants . The check is to ensure the house is being looked after and not damaged. I consider that a fair exchange?

Your family members are breaking the law

Specksofwhiteallaround · 27/05/2026 14:42

Proberts90 · 27/05/2026 14:27

That at least explains you have sucked this up for ten years.

However neither you nor your husband to have once raised her rudeness and the way she talks to you before would indicate that you need to toughen up a bit as you’re about to embark on buying your first home and you don’t want to be walked over

I’ll hold my hands up to not challenging her over her comments to a degree but I don’t just sit there and take it either. Today for example when she made the comment about my sons toys I did reply four kallax cubes is not a lot, and they do tidy away easily when he’s at school, she just laughed and said I must need a declutter… I'm pretty sure it’s not really the amount she’s commenting on, from other comments it seems like she thinks twelve year old boys are too big for toys. After this long I’ll admit it’s easier to ignore it, I’m going getting into it with her why my son still likes his physical toys.

OP posts:
Larrythecatforpm · 27/05/2026 14:27

Legally she has to give you two months notice now to increase your rent, so get on her case and tell her a months notice is illegal.

Proberts90 · 27/05/2026 14:27

Specksofwhiteallaround · 27/05/2026 14:24

It’s in the catchment area for my son’s special school and we live in a court away from main roads so ideal for him. There’s also few other properties in our price range which will take pets so yes we’ve put up with her for the location mostly. As we were getting closer to having the amount needed for a deposit to buy we didn’t want to waste it on a renting elsewhere and moving costs, she still irritates me no end though.

That at least explains you have sucked this up for ten years.

However neither you nor your husband to have once raised her rudeness and the way she talks to you before would indicate that you need to toughen up a bit as you’re about to embark on buying your first home and you don’t want to be walked over

Specksofwhiteallaround · 27/05/2026 14:24

Proberts90 · 27/05/2026 14:13

This property must be in the most perfect location or something incredible for you to have dealt with how you describe her and her behaviour and the way she talks to you for ten YEARS!

It’s in the catchment area for my son’s special school and we live in a court away from main roads so ideal for him. There’s also few other properties in our price range which will take pets so yes we’ve put up with her for the location mostly. As we were getting closer to having the amount needed for a deposit to buy we didn’t want to waste it on a renting elsewhere and moving costs, she still irritates me no end though.

OP posts:
Iwanttobeafraser · 27/05/2026 14:23

I don't understand why you put up with this.

"LL, you need to deliver documents in person for me to sign. Okay, that's fine. I can be available on Tuesday at 11:00 for that, or I can meet you at your home at 13:00 on Wednesday. Which is better for you?"

This sitting around waiting all day for her to turn up is ridiculous.

Specksofwhiteallaround · 27/05/2026 14:20

Agapornis · 27/05/2026 13:59

increased our rent with no notice

Could you elaborate on this? Even before 1 May's RRA there was a minimum notice period, I think it was 1 month?

Is your deposit even registered with a scheme? Because if it's not you'll be entitled to a lot of money. https://www.gov.uk/tenancy-deposit-protection/if-your-landlord-doesnt-protect-your-deposit

If it the deposit is registered, the default is that you'll get 100% back unless she disputes it.

I think you're being far too passive about what is your own money.

Edited

When we first started living here she’d give us a months notice for an inspection and if she wanted to increase the rent would mention that in the message when making arrangements but over the years the notice for inspections would be more like a text Sunday saying they’re coming on Tuesday which is still legal but annoying.
When she increased the rent the last time she didn’t let on at all that she was coming to do that, just sent a message saying can I call in and talk to you about the new renters legislation, spent about five minutes casually discussing that then mentioned how much money this was going to cost her and that they were going to have to increase our rent and here’s the spread sheet with the justification for the increase based on market rates. We had no idea it was coming but seemed pointless complaining about the lack of notice.
Deposit is registered but when we’ve mentioned things like the paint peeling off and mould next to the washing machine she implies it’s us causing it so I can see her being a nightmare.

OP posts:
Nothavingagoodvalentinesday · 27/05/2026 14:19

If she wants to come into your home she needs to give you 24 hours notice. Otherwise she can knock and ask but you have no obligation to let her in.

Proberts90 · 27/05/2026 14:14

Have neither you nor your husband ever raised the way she at least talks to you before?

Proberts90 · 27/05/2026 14:13

This property must be in the most perfect location or something incredible for you to have dealt with how you describe her and her behaviour and the way she talks to you for ten YEARS!

NoCarCantGoFar · 27/05/2026 14:09

DeposedPresident · 27/05/2026 12:11

TBH she's pissing ME off now.

Please make a nte of everything in case she tries something over the deposit.

Good luck on your new house. Thanks

Yes! Me too!

Nosy interfering old bat🤨

Good luck with your move OP… let’s hope you and your little family can finally live in peace (and privacy! 🌺)

Specksofwhiteallaround · 27/05/2026 14:08

PrincessofWills · 27/05/2026 13:51

So your rent is below market rent by several hundred - and you're still impugning your landlord . . . you might be the problem here.

I’ve never asked for the rent to be below market and wouldn’t have cared if it had risen in line with the going rate over the years, would have stopped her treating us like a charity case if it had and I wouldn’t feel obligated to constantly have her in my home.

OP posts:
Specksofwhiteallaround · 27/05/2026 14:05

VexedofVirginiaWater · 27/05/2026 13:51

Does she know you are moving soon OP?

Good god no, I made the mistake of mentioning a few years ago that DH had been promoted and within a couple of weeks she was around putting the rent up so we won’t be saying word until new house is secure and we are giving notice officially. I think she’s going to be unbearable, probably wanting to do viewings and potentially trying to get it decorated etc while we’re still living here then packing and moving.

OP posts:
PrincessofWills · 27/05/2026 14:03

never2return · 27/05/2026 14:01

Post can come through the door. Recorded delivery of she wants it signed. Property inspections at a time that you agree.

she is over stepping and you are in your rights to tell her no. You don’t need to tidy for her either.

no waiting around for her either, tell her you’re busy, come at 2 or whatever, I can’t stand visit windows.

Edited

Service of documents have legal requirements - recorded delivery is not legal service. It's in the CPR. It's good practice to ensure you have proof the tenant has looked at the document and understands it.

never2return · 27/05/2026 14:01

Post can come through the door. Recorded delivery of she wants it signed. Property inspections at a time that you agree.

she is over stepping and you are in your rights to tell her no. You don’t need to tidy for her either.

no waiting around for her either, tell her you’re busy, come at 2 or whatever, I can’t stand visit windows.

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