AIBU to take the full six weeks signed off after surgery?

As an aside @Phoneshop …. Perfect timing! Recovery in the garden sunbathing but don’t post SM pics fgs!

Im currently off work as I'm recovering from surgery. I still dont feel well enough and i have been getting my sick lines extended by doctor.

My boss is in contact once a week, either for a touching base phone call or to have me for an official meeting to check on my progress as she follows company procedure.

I do feel guilty and slightly harassed. But I cant do my job. I have another meeting soon so reading this thread with interest.

My boss is just following company procedure but it makes an already stressful time even more stressful. I ferl pressured to return. At the end of the day I have a sick line so why all the contact needed and box ticking meetings.

This week Ive started going out on my own to meet friends for a coffee on Monday and Tuesday for 2 hours each time and it's left me tired and sore afterwards. I feel like I am pushing myself to test what I can cope with.

I still feel I need more time so if I need to get another sickline then I will have to do that.

I dont want to go back, prolong the time it takes to heal or find it too much and have to go off sick again, therefore starting an additional period of abscence.

Your surgery sounds worse than mine. I hope you feel better soon. 💐

I don't think minor surgeries suppress the immune system by a massive amount though and if it does it's very short lived. I think to be honest the GP was being polite and kind which is no bad thing because age has a bigger factor on the immune system.

'When I gave it to HR they did start to ask a few questions about why I need so much time off' ask them if they are medical professionals and if they have experience of this surgery and the recovery time? Then tell them the person who has got experience of this said 6 weeks recovery.

If your immune system is compromised/suppressed/low you are less likely to be able to fight off the infection.

I haven't RTFT but your recovery is absolutely crucial and it is essential that it all goes smoothly and that you don't get any infection or relapse/ complications. It is a big thing to get over and HR may simply have no idea especially if you look alive and ok on the surface . So definitely you must concentrate totally on recovering and not getting any further problems.

You've been given six weeks. Take it. Companies have no loyalty. Fuck 'em.

HR are not qualified to have an opinion that varies from the surgeon who actually operated. That is a serious overstep on their part. Awful. Allow yourself to recover OP

I was signed off for 4 months after major surgery, well, was self-employed but recently took a contract on. My 'boss' was initially kind and understanding but after a couple of months she was getting fed up and pushing me to return. I went back as soon as I was able to drive and go back home to live alone (I'd been recovering at my parents) but it was a mistake because she then sent me overseas on an assignment. I remember being in a lot of pain trying to move my suitcase around and walking so far. I found the next month or so really hard while I was trying to heal and working 16 hour days.

Don't get bullied into returning early, you don't mean to be sick, nobody does. Just look after you properly and make sure doing good before returning. If that takes the 6 weeks, take them. I hope you have a good recovery OP and the pain subsides soon.

It was a very difficult time. It was during Covid so my life was on hold as I couldn’t risk getting Covid and delaying surgery. To be fair it was amazing once I got over the worst part of the recovery, it became much more insignificant. (Although I then ended up with some other issues unrelated to the previous surgery) I see it as a barometer and keep comparing back to the worst point when I was in icu. If I got through that, I can get through anything!
But it is a massive thing and you need to acknowledge that and don’t let your work make it feel less.

Most UTI's are caused by bacteria, most of them e-coli. Don't think it's an immune system thing, nor age or how busy at work.

It depends, I took 6 weeks recovery after spinal surgery still ended up out of job.
If they are determined to get rid, then they’ll get rid.

Last year came close to sepsis and losing a limb but rushed back to work with the fear of temporary nature of contract only to then have current employer ramp up the non working and 2 banks holidays in the time I was hospitalised for so I look like a terrible employee upon production of a stupid fit note only made available following and towards end off hospital stay.

ACAS cannot tell my the rights of the matter so I give up - someone in past has tried to say they are right because it simply involves company sick pay.
If I’d received SSP it would have made a glaring difference who knew.

I regularly hear people with the severity of the condition I had take 3 months off yet I’m penalised returning in under 14 days after leaving a hospital where I was duly treated I didn’t willing go into that hospital for full bed and board.

You take the time you need - and don’t rush as then you’ll delay recovery. I had a note for 4 weeks once but was genuinely well enough after 10 days so I went back. Another time after surgery it took longer and they had to extend the time off. Listen to your body and put your health first! However I don’t think people should take longer than they need.

This
prioritise yourself here

It sounds like they are trying to bully you into going back early. A surgeon has said you will need 6 weeks to recover. Trust their judgement.

Absolutely this. I've seen it time after time.

I went back after 5 wks and my boss had the nerve to refer me to Attendance Management. It did not go well for him. The nurse who interviewed me was furious on my behalf.

Same. I only took the 5 weeks and regretted it.

You've just had major surgery. Your employer is being unreasonable. Take the full 6 weeks off to allow yourself to heal and recover properly. Do not sacrifice your recovery for an employer who lacks compassion.

Take the time off. HR have to ask questions but likely the person asking has no idea about your condition / surgery.

No need to feel guilty.

If you go back too early without allowing yourself time to heal, you risk being off again and possibly for longer.

Give your body the time it needs.

I also had my ureter damaged whilst having a hysterectomy. I had a nephrostomy for 7 months, catheter for 3 and several bouts of sepsis. I went back to work 2 months after my psoas hitch ( midline incision) I was still quite frail then and on a phased return. Take the time you need. If you rush it, it will take longer.

I had same then got an infection that resulted in a further 6 weeks off , don’t go back to early

Maybe you’re younger than me - I’m almost 70. Maybe you don’t work in such a demanding job as me? I was told by my GP that he thought I’d developed the cystitis because my immune system was depressed because I hadn’t rested sufficiently post my eye procedure.

i think your assertion that you had no problems is unhelpful. We’re all different!

I think the point is that OP is dispensable to them so she should prioritise herself and her health and not them

You’re off with genuine need and have had major surgery. It’s not like you said you’ve been off as you’re horrified the sky is blue (or some other wushu washy reason). You’ve had one continual sickness with genuine need.

Please take the 6 weeks