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Original poster

To let my SIL go for a walk with my DD?

281 replies

Trustwithboudaries · 26/05/2026 19:41

I think i am being unreasonable! But here's the situation. We haven't let my SIL be alone with our DD now 5, without us nearby. My DH doesn't trust her not to eg give DD sweets without telling us, be safe enough etc. She has previously broken our trust by sharing photos without our permission but also has been really good for the past 6 months or more about respecting rules and boundaries. However DH and I still talked about not letting SIL be with DD5 fully alone. We are currently on holiday with her (SIL), DH, DD5 and DD 2 months. After 9 hrs of travel we arrived. I made dinner, we ate, DH went for a nap and SIL offered to take DD5 for a walk in the holiday park for 20mins. DD was crying and needing to feed after refusing all day. I was exhausted and needed to prepare for bedtime. So without thinking I agreed to the walk without asking DH. DD5 and SIL are back safely and as far as I can tell nothing we would be uncomfortable with happened. But I really shouldn't have agreed to the walk, should I? What can I do to repair the breach of trust? This is a huge deal to DH.

OP posts:
SmashThePatriarchy · 26/05/2026 21:29

Proberts90 · 26/05/2026 20:01

Your dh knows his sister far far better than you and any of us

and he is adamant he doesn’t want your young child left alone with his sister

trust HIM on this

there is probably a lot of shit you don’t know about.

Why go on holiday with her at all then??

Misbella · 26/05/2026 21:24

Why did u make dinner and look after two children while poor tired Dh went for nap and now you’re worried he won’t approve of u taking up Sil offer to help

pinkspeakers · 26/05/2026 21:21

Has your (presumably adult) SIL ever done anything so awful that she really can't be trusted with your child for 20 minutes?? I don't think I have ever had any family member or friend over 18 who I wouldn't let take a 5 year old for a 20 min walk if they offered to help me out. Even the ones I don't like very much.

I don't think sometimes giving her some sweets in the past without telling you should disqualify her from spending time with he alone forever! It doesn't sound as if we are talking about a potential abuser here!

YANBU but your husband is.

AnneShirleysNewDress · 26/05/2026 21:21

Why are you on holiday with someone you don’t trust around your children?

Scarlettjune · 26/05/2026 21:19

That you are uncomfortable about telling your husband about this, is concerning in itself.

It's such a minor thing. are you afraid of him?

Twooclockrock · 26/05/2026 21:19

I think your husband tells you he doesn't trust her and makes a big thing of this.. so that you don't get too friendly with her, be knows she can see through him and he is a lazy controlling dick and be doesn't want you palling up with her and her questioning you on why he does things like go for a nap and leave you to deal with the kids and dinner.

OneMoreProfiterole · 26/05/2026 21:18

Dollymylove · 26/05/2026 21:16

Maybe he did all the driving?

Show quote history

Yeah, he sounds like a real fucking hero.

Newyearawaits · 26/05/2026 21:18

HEC2746 · 26/05/2026 19:41

Why doesn’t your DH trust his sister? There’s nothing in there to suggest she’s done anything awful

This
All seems OTT

TheJoyousHiker · 26/05/2026 21:18

Dollymylove · 26/05/2026 21:16

Maybe he did all the driving?

Show quote history

So?? The OP has a two month old baby. No doubt she did all the packing and getting prepared for the holiday, not to mention cooking the dinner after arriving and will no doubt be up several times tonight feeding their baby.

MeekSqueak · 26/05/2026 21:17

I think a DH who buggers off for a nap leaving his wife to look after a two month old and five year old doesn’t get the right to take offence about the decisions the wife makes.

and if he likes SIL enough to have her on holiday then he needs to get over himself.

TheJoyousHiker · 26/05/2026 21:16

To add - you don’t have to do anything to repair a breach of trust. On the face of it, your DH is being ridiculous and selfish. I’d mention it to him in passing and move on and get on with the holiday and don’t engage with him about this.

Dollymylove · 26/05/2026 21:16

OneMoreProfiterole · 26/05/2026 19:52

Why does he get to nap? You say you’re exhausted too. Maybe instead of napping he does some parenting.

Maybe he did all the driving?

TheJoyousHiker · 26/05/2026 21:13

Honestly, I’d just mention it in a passing way. Oh, you’re up, hope you enjoyed your nap, it got stressful with baby needing to be fed and DD needing to let off steam, so SIL took her for a walk which really helped me.

You cooked dinner, I bet you tidied up afterwards too which dead old DH went for his nap. What kind of a holiday would it be if you can never let your SIL be alone with your children, why bring her ?

TwilightSkies · 26/05/2026 21:10

You let SIL go with your DD because deep down you KNOW you can trust her. And you KNOW DH is the problem.

CharlieEffie · 26/05/2026 21:09

Maybe he shouldnt nap, leaving you with both kids to sort out and than you wont give into offers of help from your SIL

Scarlettjune · 26/05/2026 21:09

You have a DH issue. That isn't normal behaviour from him

Scarlettjune · 26/05/2026 21:06

Trustwithboudaries · 26/05/2026 19:41

I think i am being unreasonable! But here's the situation. We haven't let my SIL be alone with our DD now 5, without us nearby. My DH doesn't trust her not to eg give DD sweets without telling us, be safe enough etc. She has previously broken our trust by sharing photos without our permission but also has been really good for the past 6 months or more about respecting rules and boundaries. However DH and I still talked about not letting SIL be with DD5 fully alone. We are currently on holiday with her (SIL), DH, DD5 and DD 2 months. After 9 hrs of travel we arrived. I made dinner, we ate, DH went for a nap and SIL offered to take DD5 for a walk in the holiday park for 20mins. DD was crying and needing to feed after refusing all day. I was exhausted and needed to prepare for bedtime. So without thinking I agreed to the walk without asking DH. DD5 and SIL are back safely and as far as I can tell nothing we would be uncomfortable with happened. But I really shouldn't have agreed to the walk, should I? What can I do to repair the breach of trust? This is a huge deal to DH.

Your DH sounds very controlling

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/05/2026 21:05

Rainbow1235 · 26/05/2026 20:58

I realy wish this was all I had to worry about

Yes, same.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 26/05/2026 21:05

Why was Mr Important having a nap ?!!!

What illness does he suffer from.

Was he actually driving for that 9 hours, or did he pilot the plane.

cauliflowercheeseplease · 26/05/2026 21:04

Silence from the OP. Perhaps the replies have embarrassed her slightly as this has got to be a joke unless it’s a drip feed and there’s much more too it?

Rainbow1235 · 26/05/2026 20:58

I realy wish this was all I had to worry about

lazyarse123 · 26/05/2026 20:58

OneMoreProfiterole · 26/05/2026 19:52

Why does he get to nap? You say you’re exhausted too. Maybe instead of napping he does some parenting.

My first thought too.

LoftyCoralBird · 26/05/2026 20:57

What’s the reason he doesn’t trust her? Are his beliefs proportionate? Is he overreacting

Is he wanting you to do all the work, rather than her helping out in any shape or form.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/05/2026 20:52

This is baffling. You haven’t given enough information, but on the surface unless there’s a big drip feed, your dh sounds really controlling.

Bigcat25 · 26/05/2026 20:50

Sounds like a big overreaction to a walk where nothing went wrong. You're both being too upright imo. You've even admitted that she's improved. I think it's rather insulting to your sil to be honest, especially when your travelling together. Not good for the relationship.