AIBU to think a twin parent should contribute per child?

lol there is no responsibility to pay collections to teachers. I’m already contributing over the odds to society through eye watering tax. I don’t see why I have to donate more.

Of course they are being taken advantage of, everyone else is paying double the twin mum is for the same gift. After several years of it, it adds up to a considerable amount of money saved. This doesn’t seem to be a ‘contribute what you want’ type of collection. It appears to be a set collection where everyone has agreed to put in £10 per child. This woman has purposely put in £10 for 2 children knowing that no one is going to say anything. That’s taking advantage and taking the piss out of all the other parents. It’s like going to a restaurant, ordering the set menu for a specific price and then paying half at the end. - over the top example I know, but the principle is the same.

If I was the OP, I would just speak to the mum in private and say it’s £10 per child, if you don’t want to pay another £10 that’s fine, send the money back to her and let her get something separately.

I’m sure she is also the type of parent that attends parties that both her children have been paid for to attend by the host and hands over one gift, but in return expects her kids to get a gift each because she doesn’t like them being known as ‘the twins’, but seperate people (when it suits). It’s exhausting dealing with cheeky people like that for years on end. I know someone who has twin toddlers, we both go to a toddler group - she pays for one because ‘they are twins’, I still have to pay for my 2 individually because they didn’t come out my vagina at the same time. They both take up the same amount of space and resources but I’m paying double for the exact same experience. People aren’t owed anything because they have twins, although it seems some think they are. Thankfully this thread has a lot of nice people who don’t shy away from their responsibilities.

I would have settled for any one of our YR to Y3 teachers making the effort to tell our twins apart. I'd have appreciated any teacher spotting we had one right & one left handed twin. I'd have relished their class teacher (who was the SENCO) spotting that one boy had a verbal disfluency. Twins are lumped together all the time at school so it's no surprise to me the parent in question doesn't see the need for two contributions.

Obviously not all teachers or schools are like this one- I'm sure many are wonderful, and in those schools I'm sure parents are happy to give gifts. But like tipping, this should be voluntary, with some connection to providing a good service- otherwise it's just another tax on parents.

I'm a primary school teacher and we don't expect anything but we also really appreciate thoughtful gifts, cards and collections. I have spent hundreds of pounds of my own money this year. Every year I buy the kids a book at Christmas, chocolate at Easter, prizes, popcorn for movie afternoons, biscuits for school trips, stickers and so much money on stationary, toys, art materials etc. There is absolutely no expectation of a gift but I think it's a bit harsh to say it shouldn't be allowed.

Forced in what way?

We are forced to put in £70 per child. £20 is looking pretty reasonable to me.

Woah - don't be so mean spirited. And don't do the collection in future

Nobody has been taken advantage of. That is a very silly mindset.

The single mother is paying for her household, the twin parents are paying for their household.

And it sounds like OP absolutely does leave children's names off the card. Many others who have posted do too.

I think its unreasonable that the amount is dictated at all. It should just be whatever any parents are able and wish to give.

I didn’t report her for having awful manners and lacking decorum but I did report her for failing her duties and responsibilities in safe guarding the children in her care (totally different goings on).

I didn’t imply the whip rounds are akin to a workplace bonus. I was talking colloquially that SOME teachers grow to expect it.

Thankfully not all teachers are douche bags but I definitely stumbled across a few in my time - I work in education too.

But they have agreed to £10 per child like everyone else. A single mum will be paying £10 for their one child on one salary. This couple are paying £5 per child on two salaries.

I know everyone’s financial circumstances are different (but that aside and assuming she can afford it) it’s a bloody cheek to knowingly pay half when everyone else is putting the full amount. If she doesn’t want to pay £10 per child she doesn’t have too, she could go and do her present separately. It’s not so much the monetary value, it’s the principle and her taking advantage of a situation knowing that no one is going to be nasty enough to leave one of the kids names off the card.

That's definitely a case of one ridiculous human being. I have worked in schools for two decades and haven't ever rallied up who gives what. Nor have any of my colleagues. You should have reported that teacher because that's just not on.

I love a card from someone that I know I've made a difference to. It's nice to be appreciated. A group card formed from a WhatsApp group would have little value. Suggesting that most teachers see it as a bonus is completely ridiculous. My friends mostly get a couple of grand either in April or at Christmas. I'd prefer that to a few chocolates and a mug!

Agreed, this is why I never took part in class collections.

I wouldn’t be contributing at all so in that respect I think she’s being generous!

We aren’t. We have to inform our business manager and head of anything over a certain amount and if money is given we have to let them know and it gets discreetly handed back to the parents.

Away and jump!..this is just one class?...how many classes are at the school?

Oh no. Your one of those Stepford Wives who make school mum's life a misery.

The transactional givers on this thread literally taking my breath away. So glad none of my friends are this grim.

I’m a class rep for my DC’s class so I’m responsible for collecting contributions for the teacher’s gifts. I suggest an amount for each parent to pay but it’s always optional/discretionary. If someone didn’t pay or paid less than the suggested amount, that’s fine. If there were any twin parents in the class, I would give them a break - they have a lot to deal with

When I was a teacher I was pleased to have a card, maybe some chocs or something but NEVER would I expect a collection! Is this mummy one-upmanship?

What a pile on, it sounded like a genuine question. Teachers don't expect or demand gifts. If they contribute, put their name on the card, if they choose not to then don't. Teachers are not going to list off the names of the kids who have signed or not. They thank everyone and accept anything, hand made cards, drawn pictures, mugs etc. It is unnecessary but appreciated. If families can't afford it, then don't do it.

If people don't want to step up, just go it alone next year. Get your own small gift if you choose to.

Be mindful that some people who volunteer to collect aren't always trustworthy. Asking for a pic of the voucher or card/gift in the chat can help with that as having parents taken advantage of in the name of the teacher is maddening. Obviously the poster here is unequivocally fair as they are asking this question about fairness.

Sounds like she’s spent all her money

She can pay whatever she wants or nothing ....

If there was no collection and parents just bought their own gifts, would a twin parent buy two gifts? I doubt it.. No one needs duplicate “best teacher” mugs or whatever… so it’s fine. Also, saying anything would be massively rude.

One of the few financial benefits of twins, single class donation, (one present at parties from both) IME. Do you think twin parents should also provide two cakes for cake sale and volunteer twice as often for school trips etc? Absolutely no way, I exploited the 2 for 1 advantage whenever possible!