AIBU to think a twin parent should contribute per child?

But why do you care so much? Mr X isn't going know/care about having £10 less and no one else is disadvantaged by this person only paying once. You've put enormous amounts of effort and vitriol into getting yourself worked up over something that actually doesn't actually affect you in any way, to the extent that you are now judging all twin parents, just because you clearly don't like this woman. It all seems very unnecessary and frankly exhausting.

So I’ve googled your thought OP
just to look for evidence
heres the response

‘ why do people think twin parents are entitled ? Are they ?

+3

‘ People often perceive twin parents as entitled due to clashes in expectations surrounding two main dynamics: public visibility and parental support. Because twin pregnancies and raising two babies simultaneously are physically and financially demanding, some parents develop strong boundary-setting or vocal expectations that can be misread by others as privilege or entitlement. 1]

1. High Visibility and Boundary Fatigue

The "Freak Show" Effect: Twin parents are constantly stopped in public by strangers asking intrusive or repetitive questions (e.g., "Are they natural?" or "Do twins run in your family?"). 1, 2, 3]

The Response: To protect their children’s privacy or avoid being overwhelmed, twin parents often set firm, immediate boundaries or snap back at polite but intrusive small talk. To observers, rejecting this well-intentioned curiosity can come off as snobby or ungrateful.

1. The "Competitiveness" of Parenting

The Singleton Clash: Many parents of singletons (who also face exhausting, unique challenges) can feel alienated when twin parents emphasise how hard their situation is. 1]

Perceived Victimhood: When twin parents lean heavily on "survival mode" or request special accommodations, non-twin parents sometimes perceive this as playing the victim or believing their hardship is greater than everyone else’s. 1, 2]

1. Expectations for Special Treatment and Resources

Financial and Logistical Aid: Raising twins requires double the initial costs—two car seats, double the nappies, and significant out-of-pocket expenses. Some twin parents actively advocate for policy changes, such as double maternity pay or extra medical support. Those outside the multiples community occasionally view these vocal demands as a sense of entitlement to extra societal perks. 1]

Special Treatment in Public: Twin parents, out of sheer survival, may demand preferential treatment or leniency in public spaces (e.g., getting priority seating, bypassing lines, or excusing chaotic toddler behaviour ). Observers without children, or even single-child parents, may feel that having twins does not automatically grant a "pass" to bypass regular rules.

Op if you’re that bothered tell her it’s per child but you are definitely being unreasonable her kids are getting the same education as yours. It’s not even compulsory.

In which case OP given the theme of your thread as just stated

as there are between 120,000 and 150,000 twin parents in the U.K.

Assuming you don’t know the majority of them

I disagree that ‘so many are entitled’

I stand corrected if there are stats to prove otherwise

Do parents give presents / £10 or so to every teacher during the GCSE years ?

This is madness. Whats wrong with the child taking just a card or a very simple cheap gift. Even £10 per child is insane. £20 is absolutely crazy. Teachers are well paid.

I’m perfectly entitled to my opinion as you are to yours.
Teachers get paid a decent salary for doing their job. Probably paid quite a bit more than some parents do. So I don’t see why people feel the need to buy them presents for doing the job they are paid to do.

you have your opinion I have mind, it’s the way it is love so let’s leave it at that

Because its a voluntary contribution so she can put in whatever she wants....

Sorry me again- would you prefer she didnt pay at all by the looks of it?

Oh there is always one... One for you!

Jesus wept.
Who voted, was it an unanimous vote or were people voting ebcause no one wanted to look cheap in front of forceful parents? Parent groups are so toxic, a bunch of people decides something and everyone else is sort of forced to go with it. It's a voluntary contribution. In my sons class we do 'pay what you can'. She may be a doctor but maybe they have outgoings and financial responsibilities you have no idea about.

There is no should contribute. It’s voluntary. They can give as little or as much as they want - or nothing.

To be honest I don’t care much for buying teachers gifts at end of term , they are doing a job that they are getting paid for so why the need to buy them gifts. Does anyone else in any other job get a gift at year end from their customers? Service users? Patients or whoever ?
they are paid for what they do out of our taxes so give over with this £10 per child thing that’s ridiculous

Your getting away from the point of what you responded to. The previous poster to whom you replied was explaining the costs of having to buy double of everything. You stated that you had all these costs with 2 under 2. I explained the difference for you, around how you would benefit from staggered costs (I.e one in a highchair one in q booster seat, ones nursery funding ending when the others is just starting that list is non- exhaustive BTW. As you have no answer your essentially handwaving this away as "being irrelevant" when we have tried to educate you on the impact of paying double every time upfront.

You clearly do not want, or wish to understand the financial impact of twins. I would consider you wholly unsuitable to be the person who knows of others contributions as you appear to have neither the sensitivity or tact to manage such a situation, best you do everyone a favour, and bow out?

I had two in different classes, I would put in twice but I could not afford much anyway, as I'd worked in a school years back I always quietly valued the handmade cards or small gifts the parents had supported their children to make. A collection would have felt more like a thank you from the parents, which whilst is also fine. However my kids had no idea when on one occassion I did contribute to the class collection what had been bought and no one told me until I asked. I didn't contribute the following year when the organiser informed us of her fee to do so.

People contribute what they can afford, it is not mandatory.

I also knew a mother of triplets As I goy to know her better it was clear she had a controlling abusive husband, can you even begin to appreciate how stressful, and potentially discriminatory to her children your judgemental views would be. I would also be concerned around your potential lack of discretion.

I always bought two gifts if both were invited so each had there own to give. They are two different children, however it was still less per head money was tight.

You would have had more flexibility over costs though. For example the older child could potentially have a booster chair once the younger one was ready for a high chair, not the case with twins. You could have opted out of having the younger child's haircut as a baby, thereby only needing to pay for one. Clothes can be potentially passed down so alleviating some of the cost. Child care would start to ease for as they older one would soon be eligible for nursery funding.
You also chose to have two children relatively close together, and presumably able to budget?twin parents do not have that luxury either

Ffs it's a tenner get over it.

I have never used a party place that provided the cakes. We always took our own so I can’t comment on that
My MIL regularly bought them shared presents. That’s not a MIL bashing comment just a my MIL thing. She really just couldn’t be bothered

I also banned the twin word. They have names

Some venues provide a cake if it's a kid party place. One booking, one cake. (Understandable, of course.) No personal experience of it though, or any workaround.

I have twin parent friends where the grandparents were supposed to bring cakes for a 1st birthday party. They had insisted on it. They brought one, and said it was for the same number of guests to eat, so why did it matter? Double the amount of cake would be daft, they said.

People are very weird about twin-related stuff.

Yep we’ve had shared cards

Not cake as they are usually provided by the parents

This. Plus shared birthday cards and shared cake.

Really !

you’d punish the kids because the parent is an arse ?

I can say however as the parent of twins that people did this a lot to my boys and No they always gave a present each to their friends.

I agree. I do the same with one good present instead of two cheaper ones. I have a set budget I spend on gifts for school friends, now my children are older they can choose the gift(s) as long as it's within that budget.

ETA - I don't like the tone of posts like pp because it very much sounds like punishing children for things that are outside of their control (gift budgets/end of year contributions etc).

I have twins and will sometimes get one more expensive gift of £20 rather than two cheaper £10 gifts. It’s child led and the dc tend to know what their friends will like. I’d much rather the girls got one present to share for birthdays as it’s already a lot especially when having class parties when they are small.