AIBU to think a twin parent should contribute per child?

So when does it stop
after primary ?

I am aware of that. But all the children’s names are on the card. Give as agree or do your own thing. Both are a choice

Wowser. So if there are 30 kids in the class that's a gift of £300?!

Absolutely not

Do parents give presents / £10 or so to every teacher during the GCSE years ?

Besides if theres 30 kids surely £290 or whatever is enough? £10 per child is silly.

Oh dear, I've accidentally twin mum shamed as a twin mum! Sorry!

If they've never complained, you're fine! I have a family member who's a twin, and he guilted me into making sure I made two cakes for my twins' first birthday onwards because his mum had always actually refused to make one each for him and his brother. Despite both he and his brother liking and disliking different flavours. That made me so sad I made two. But there was FAR too much cake, because to my mind I couldn't make them smaller, because that was just as bad!

The grandparents in this story had INSISTED on bringing the cakes. Then done the maths and decided two was silly. My friends strongly felt two cakes were important and were really upset. That was their hill to die on, and it had been ignored.

I happily call my twins "the twins" in the same way other people insist on calling them "the kids", or using names every time to avoid "the twins". I don't have an issue with it, some twin parents have that as their hill to die on. I don't like "the kids"; it jars for me. Mine are B/G twins, so I can't call them "the boys" or "the girls".

I always do one present from the pair of them for a party, though I'll pay more than for a single present. (Sometimes double the budget I'd have done for one, but depends on how lucky I've been with the purchase price. Same as a singleton might get a cheap present due to budget constraints or purchasing luck.) My reasoning for one present will always be because one gift will always be liked more by the recipient as well as by my twins. I'd like them both to have given equally. I'd wrap more than one item in one parcel.

As you can see, as twin parents, we're all fucking nuts. All trying to live our lives. All paranoid about being judged for being "too" something, or "not enough something" by singleton parents, or by those who produced their children in single doses. Or I'm speaking out of turn to speak on behalf of however many twin families there are in existence, and being as bad as those I'm saying can be critical. I had a few "fuck those people" moments over the last few years when people couldn't understand why I was perceived to have "special treatment".

In short, that's why this is so long. Because I'm now worried I offended another twin mum. (Just kidding, I know I just need to send you comradely twin mum vibe nods, and we'll both move on to the next thing! No time!)😘😂

Oh, I'm not the least offended, @AffableApple . We are all getting by as well as we can. Having twins guarantees we are cash poor, time poor and probably both. But I also feel it's the greatest joy and privilege of my life and I wouldn't change a thing. The AI answer sourced by @BrownTroutBluesAgain was very interesting and recognisable- twin parenthood is a sort of club that cannot be joined by choice, payment or recommendation- we always stick up for fellow-members and I can see that this might make others feel on the outside, however many singleton children they have.
There's no right or wrong single answer to any of these questions- single/double, separate/shared, together/apart- we are all just muddling through. My identical twin sons turn 18 in a couple of weeks. They are fine, loving young men and, shared cake notwithstanding, each other's best friend and best advocate- a lifelong relationship like none other. Aren't we lucky?

Oh crikey. You've got me questioning whether I'm an OK twin mum or a failure. I've only ever made shared birthday cakes for my two. It has never occurred to me they might want one each. Does it help that I make one shared cake for school and a second shared cake for home? Or is that compounding my shame? #cakegate

I’m perfectly entitled to my opinion as you are to yours.
Teachers get paid a decent salary for doing their job. Probably paid quite a bit more than some parents do. So I don’t see why people feel the need to buy them presents for doing the job they are paid to do.

you have your opinion I have mind, it’s the way it is love so let’s leave it at that

Some venues provide a cake if it's a kid party place. One booking, one cake. (Understandable, of course.) No personal experience of it though, or any workaround.

I have twin parent friends where the grandparents were supposed to bring cakes for a 1st birthday party. They had insisted on it. They brought one, and said it was for the same number of guests to eat, so why did it matter? Double the amount of cake would be daft, they said.

People are very weird about twin-related stuff.

When the group was set up (not by me) the initial message was along the lines of this is the group for Mr X end of year gift. Bank details were left and a comment on ideas for gifts. Another parent commented saying should we do £10 again per child agajn, and lots of parents (including this one) said yes, let’s do that.
She didn’t have to join the gift chat but she chose too. Around 16 parents joined (so 18 kids) out of 22. No one cares the others aren’t.

Others peoples finances don’t come into my mind. I know she’s “rich” as she likes to let us know. So either she’s lying about her situation or she’s a tight ass.

She is the parent who turns up to a party where someone has paid for both her kids with one crap, low cost gift. But makes sure her kids get a gift each at their joint party by banging on how they had different tastes.

The main thing from this thread is the entitlement of so many twin parents.

When the group was set up (not by me) the initial message was along the lines of this is the group for Mr X end of year gift. Bank details were left and a comment on ideas for gifts. Another parent commented saying should we do £10 again per child agajn, and lots of parents (including this one) said yes, let’s do that.
She didn’t have to join the gift chat but she chose too. Around 16 parents joined (so 18 kids) out of 22. No one cares the others aren’t.

Others peoples finances don’t come into my mind. I know she’s “rich” as she likes to let us know. So either she’s lying about her situation or she’s a tight ass.

She is the parent who turns up to a party where someone has paid for both her kids with one crap, low cost gift. But makes sure her kids get a gift each at their joint party by banging on how they had different tastes.

The main thing from this thread is the entitlement of so many twin parents.

Interested in how other people approach. We do a group collection for the school teacher every year. Another mum and I tend to take turns. Offered out to the rest but oddly no one else wants a turn! . We put in £10 each which is what we all agreed. . Two mums in the year have twins. One mum pays per child (so £20) and the other pays £10 total so £5 per child.

I’ve never really thought about it but the other mum that’s turn it is think we should say we’ve only received one contribution. The more I think about it the more I thinks she a bit cheeky but after 6 years don’t see the point in saying now. This mum is quite well off (one a Dr and one equal in terms of salary) whilst most other parents are on much lower salaries.

AIBU: don’t say
YANBU Say gives more money 😉

When the group was set up (not by me) the initial message was along the lines of this is the group for Mr X end of year gift. Bank details were left and a comment on ideas for gifts. Another parent commented saying should we do £10 again per child agajn, and lots of parents (including this one) said yes, let’s do that.
She didn’t have to join the gift chat but she chose too. Around 16 parents joined (so 18 kids) out of 22. No one cares the others aren’t.

Others peoples finances don’t come into my mind. I know she’s “rich” as she likes to let us know. So either she’s lying about her situation or she’s a tight ass.

She is the parent who turns up to a party where someone has paid for both her kids with one crap, low cost gift. But makes sure her kids get a gift each at their joint party by banging on how they had different tastes.

The main thing from this thread is the entitlement of so many twin parents.

If I had twins, I would pay 20. But I also think it’s wrong to state a set amount for people to contribute. I’m running the kitty for teacher gifts for one of my kids this year and gave an an indicative bracket of how much people typically contribute but made it clear it was entirely
up to them how much they gave (if at all)

When the group was set up (not by me) the initial message was along the lines of this is the group for Mr X end of year gift. Bank details were left and a comment on ideas for gifts. Another parent commented saying should we do £10 again per child agajn, and lots of parents (including this one) said yes, let’s do that.
She didn’t have to join the gift chat but she chose too. Around 16 parents joined (so 18 kids) out of 22. No one cares the others aren’t.

Others peoples finances don’t come into my mind. I know she’s “rich” as she likes to let us know. So either she’s lying about her situation or she’s a tight ass.

She is the parent who turns up to a party where someone has paid for both her kids with one crap, low cost gift. But makes sure her kids get a gift each at their joint party by banging on how they had different tastes.

The main thing from this thread is the entitlement of so many twin parents.

When the group was set up (not by me) the initial message was along the lines of this is the group for Mr X end of year gift. Bank details were left and a comment on ideas for gifts. Another parent commented saying should we do £10 again per child agajn, and lots of parents (including this one) said yes, let’s do that.
She didn’t have to join the gift chat but she chose too. Around 16 parents joined (so 18 kids) out of 22. No one cares the others aren’t.

Others peoples finances don’t come into my mind. I know she’s “rich” as she likes to let us know. So either she’s lying about her situation or she’s a tight ass.

She is the parent who turns up to a party where someone has paid for both her kids with one crap, low cost gift. But makes sure her kids get a gift each at their joint party by banging on how they had different tastes.

The main thing from this thread is the entitlement of so many twin parents.