AIBU to think a twin parent should contribute per child?

People should contribute what they are willing and able to and that be less than you.

YABVU

and saying something would be prime arseholeness

I have done way more than my fair share of class collections - I leave folk to contribute what they can afford and the present is from the whole class regardless as I have no idea of others finances. Last time the contributions ranged between £0 and £30.

I think YABU to fix an amount and sign specific names, she does sound like one of life’s all fur coat and no knickers people - but pulling her up on it won’t end up well for you I’d imagine!

I’m a twin mum, and I do generally give double. However, a teachers gift should be a donation. We never set an amount when it’s coming towards end of term. One year I didn’t contribute as much because I didn’t rate the teacher one bit. But I didn’t feel that I couldn’t contribute at all. It makes no difference what the occupation is of the parents. You have no idea their financial situation.

How is it fair to exclude some children because their parents can’t afford as much?

fair would be everyone included, donate what you can. Otherwise don’t paint it as a whole class present!

I think teacher gifts are getting a bit crackers to be honest especially if you have people imposing a £10 per kid contribution. I think it’s really unreasonable to be specifying an amount per child or taking issue with which kids are on the cards. Even if collections are being split across office staff, TAs etc, I’m curious as to how these gifts are not falling fowl of normal public sector limits. Nurses wouldn’t be allows to accept £200 gifts for example.

For what it’s worth, I can afford it and have always paid the £10 suggested contribution from the rep but there will be others who really can’t afford that and shouldn’t be pressured into paying up.

Does it matter?

Agree with this. It’s fair to say the suggested amount is £10, but people can choose how much they want to contribute.

The organiser for my eldest son’s class had it at £5 per child, split every £3 for the teacher and £2 for the classroom assistant. There were a couple of kids who had one to one assistants and the parents of those children sorted their own gift.

My younger sons class organiser suggested £10 each for the teacher, assistant and 2 x one to ones, absolutely ridiculous

Maybe her husband controls all the money
Financial abuse and control can happen in any marriage

Absolutely right. It would be the same for anything. Just because two of your children were born on the same year shouldn’t mean you get a 2 for 🤣 same with attending a party.

It’s not compulsory for her to contribute at all.

I think the amount of the contribution should be voluntary not prescribed regardless of the number of children.Teachers lreally do not expect this . A token gift or something made by the child is more than enough.

My mum was a teacher and quite a few of my friends are teachers and they would really hate to know that this sort of judging of how much people give to a collection for a present for them was going on.

Their jobs and what you think they can contribute mean sweet FA - I work in the debt business and I can assure you many folk in high end/paid jobs have debt coming out their eyeballs with no disposable income - and after 6 years of saying nothing there’s hardly any point now

Maybe ask what the teacher would want. I’m a teacher and I’d be horrified if this was going on. Why on earth are you charging for a collection. If people want to contribute towards a gift it should be just that a contribution but my goodness no one should be forced to contribute or told how much.
All teachers I know would be happy with a handmade card from the child. Please do not do this!

In principle she should pay per child. That said, I don’t agree with a set contribution- it’s not inclusive, and it’s up to each parent to decide what to contribute to a class gift 🤷🏼‍♀️. Does it matter if one child contributes £5 and another child £10? I’d change your approach. You may find some parents contribute more, some less, so what? The teacher will be grateful and doesn’t need to know who
put it what (I doubt they’d care).

I wonder if @TheMumEdit feels even slightly sheepish having read the responses. Unlikely but possible I suppose

I hated the end of term collections, made me feel like a cash machine.

Leave her be.

@Bushmillsbabe My reception aged child was a force of nature and is still quite something at 19. She's incredibly focused and efficient when she wants to be. I am frequently hopelessly disorganised so not sure how this happened. I think she just came that way!

It was the same in our class, some people gave loads, some nothing, some a pound or two. We were all fine with that. Being grateful doesn't have a monetary value.

Absolutely, and that sounds lovely. I'm not sure my reception age child could have got that organised 😂
But I typed up the messaged from each parent and put it in the teachers and teaching assistants cards, as you said I think that means much more than a voucher.
And we never said how much each parent should give. There is one parent who gives £100 each time - I thought she had meant to give £10 and put an extra 0 on by mistake so messaged her to check, but no, she had wanted to give £100. And several that give £2 -£5 as thats what they can afford. I don't think comments should be made on how much people give.

YABU

When my kids were in primary I often coordinated the collection. People donated what they wanted/ could afford with 10 suggested as upper limit. Some gave nothing. All kids signed the card I couldn't give a toss who or what parents contributed it's a token thank you to the teacher. I also didn't rat out those who gave nothing or very little. If things were going to be judged and discussed so openly with the parents organising I would not be involved at all and just buy my own gift.

She probably interprets the gift rule as £10 per family.

The teachers are not going to be thinking - "how much did I receive per child?" are they?

So whatever, OP, it doesn't matter.

When mine were at primary, there was a 'suggested' amount of £30 for end of year gifts. But if someone had given £30 rather than £60 for twins, they wouldn't have been pulled up on it!

No you don’t, what’s wrong with you? You say thank you and move on.

Poor twin mums! You can't make anyone give anything

I'm sure the teacher would hate to think their gift has caused bad feeling

Yes. And I can now see why some schools have a 'no gifts'rule.