AIBU for not thanking drivers for stopping at crossings?

YANBU, it's your right of way always. They are simply following their own road rules. I just walk out in the road most of the time, don't even go to the crossing. Drivers are there by a revocable licence.

I do reserve the right to have murderous thoughts about people who have a chat on the pavement just at the edge of the zebra crossing. So like a dutiful driver I stop and then I realise they have no intention of crossing but are just standing there for the hell of it.

OP it’s fine. You can carry on not raising your hand in thanks. The drivers were wrong to shout. I will carry on raising my hand and even giving a quick smile as that feels right for me and it is no trouble. It feels like an imposition for you, so you don’t have to change.

It’s just instinctive for me to raise my hand in thanks when a car stops. My kids are the same. No driver should be shouting though, that’s ridiculous.

This in buckets.
Personally I think that if pedestrians don't acknowledge you for stopping then you should be allowed to run them over 😁

Manners cost nothing.

Its a good way to teach your kids good manners.

Why wouldn't you say thanks?

IMO YABU, it’s no effort at all to give a smile and a nod. But saying this, I thank Chat GPT, it just feels weird not too🤭 It’s just being polite. A waiter is paid to bring you food, that’s their obligation, do you say thank you? Or when your served at a store, delivery drivers? I may be wrong, but I’m overly polite.

These things are based on goodwill. You don’t have to thank anyone for anything but not acknowledging the courtesy destroys the goodwill that has allowed you to cross. Why would you do that?

There’s a thread running about Britain becoming lawless. Obviously not thanking drivers isn’t lawless but I think the general ethos of “I’m not obliged to so I won’t” is contributing to a very selfish and individualistic society.

You're not technically being unreasonable; however, you are being rude.

Manners cost nothing but a smile and a thanks enrich the fabric of our lives.

if that’s the case why thank anyone? Don’t thank people in the shop? They are just doing what they are paid to do … anyone for that matter.

I tend to thank people when on the roads, whether I am a driver or a pedestrian. It's easy to do, is general good manners and helps make the world a slightly nicer place. I don't necessarily expect others to thank me, but it's nice if they do.

I’m sure you are not that busy while crossing just to hold your hand up for 2 seconds … stop making silly excuses. As you’ve said, many drivers don’t stop, you can thank the ones that do.

It’s nothing just to put your hand up as a thank you gesture … not a requirement but just general politeness.

Yabvu. You thank them. I thank car drivers when they stop and 99.9÷ of users of crossings thank me when I stop for them. It's just what you do

I do think it’s fascinating that people report being shouted at for not thanking a driver. I am firmly in the “thank the driver” camp, but what sort of driver gets so angry at not being waved at that they decide to take their eyes off the road and start a public argument? That is totally fucked up and says a lot about aggression in modern society. I suspect that more men than women do this, and quite probably the people being shouted at are women.

I always say thank you. Same way I would when paying for something in a shop - they are paid to serve me but a thank you and a smile just makes the experience a bit nicer!

Tipping your bonnet to a driver...I never have a problem with that...furthermore I stop courteously for pedestrians, when driving.
Though as a cyclist, I appreciate it when a pedestrian checks/delays their step for a second so I can get through, without making me stop. Because it costs sweat to build back that momentum.

How can you be so sure?

Perception from decades of driving experience.

I disagree that this is not about safety to some extent- you have to assess, by looking with your eyes, at the car coming towards you to see if it will stop. Eye contact and guessing what the car is doing is important where there's no red light to stop the traffic- so it's a social negotiation, and as you say, a social convention is then to acknowledge what they did.

It doesn't matter that you aren't thankful, that's the convention for the majority of people, it's quite rare people don't acknowledge you in some way, and those that don't usually stare straight ahead and march across, which is more dangerous than risking eye contact with the car coming towards them and thus having to have a more human moment.

So strange that this is a big deal for you. I say thanks to lots of people though. Most of my students thank me when they leave my lecture hall these days.

How can you be so sure?

And is there any difference when the driver is stopping for a man or for a woman? Do you really think they would shout at a man for not thanking them?

If 60% of the voters here (presumably mostly women) always thanks, but the drivers in this thread including the OP don't feel that majority of the pedestrians thanks them, the non thankers have to come from somewhere, presumably non-MN demographics.

YANBU. I don't feel the need to thank people in any other context for simply not breaking the law, so I'm not sure why crossing the road should be any different.

Every time you use a zebra crossing, the driver stops out of the goodness of heart. Thank them or don't, but they are absolutely not obligated to stop for you.

Don't be ridiculous.
There is no difference in the manners of men using a zebra crossing and women.

Now that's being British!