AIBU for not thanking drivers for stopping at crossings?

Why wouldn’t you get anything else done? Pretty dramatic outlook. Saying thank you, quick hand lift or a nod while carrying on doing what you’re doing anyway, takes absolutely no extra time out of your day, so you’ll still get the exact same amount of things done that you were doing anyway 😂
it actually does come across as rude, I know you said it’s not a teaching moment, but it is for your child, teaching your kid to be polite in every opportunity possible is always a teaching moment, wouldn’t the world be a far better place if everyone was kind enough to acknowledge the people around them, give a little smile, nod or a wave to others throughout the day, even at zebra crossings when you feel too entitled and up superior to do it. It costs you ZERO time to do it within those moments you’re walking across in front of them, or in every other situations through your daily routine. People are ignoring each other more and more as the years go on, before you know it the whole world will be walking round like zombies not making eye contact with anyone at all and conversations be non existent, be part of the solution not part of the problem!! Your kid watches and observes everything you do even when you don’t realise it, don’t raise a generation of adults who go out of their way to avoid acknowledging those around them, it takes no effort to smile and be kind to strangers.

Maybe the poster assumes that not everyone is a rude as you … unfortunately they were wrong on this occasion.

Thank you for explaining that. I hadn't wanted to appear ignorant over something that could have been a contributory factor. 😊

It’s weird you don’t understand basic manners, why does it matter if the person is right in front of you or in a car?

We thank people for neutral things all the time though.

In a restaurant when a waiter gives you your food, or they take your plate. They're doing the bare minimum, you're giving them money, they're providing a service, it's a neutral interaction. You still say thanks.

The thanks when someone stops at a zebra crossing isn't a thankyou in a traditional sense, it's an acknowledgement that your existence has caused someone else to have to do someone.

It's like the "Sorry" when you open the door to a public bathroom just as someone else is about to open the door to come out, and it makes you both jump slightly. Neither of you has done anything wrong, you've not tried to scare each other, you've nothing to apologise for. But the flurry of "Sorry"s from both sides is just a social convention acknowledging that your existence in the space has affected the other person in some tiny way.

It just makes the world run a tiny bit more smoothly, nothing more.

*I had already preloaded my steering wheel reciprocating wave ready to deploy.

Left me in the awkward position of waving to someone who had not waved first

@PedestrianAbuse I stopped at a crossing this morning for someone. No little wave. *

....was it you, op 🧐

They dont have to stop by any means though whilst you are still on the pavement.

I am curious to know where this zebra crossing is that has multiple drivers failing to stop on a regular basis. Naples? 😁

For that poster it might be a ND thing now she's explained more.

'ND' people are not inherently rude, and usually have a better understanding of social conventions than most after a lifetime of fitting in.

Well the majority has spoken … you are BU and are rude.

Only in that specific circumstance. Sharing pulling in to passing places etc, or allowing someone to cross at a non-designated place I absolutely expect thanks as normal.

No, not ND as someone has just suggested.

For that poster it might be a ND thing now she's explained more. I cant remember the last time I wasn't thanked on a zebra crossing unless it was kids. For adults though, it's a natural transaction.

I agree with this, and also someone might change their mind depending on the reasons argued.

I voted YANBU and haven't changed my mind based on the reasons people have given for thinking otherwise.

You're the only person I have ever encountered (online or off) who hates being thanked. That is a very unusual reaction IMO. Even if it isn't strictly necessary, most people think it's a positive thing to be thanked.

Not really. I find it irritating, I automatically glance elsewhere to avoid being irritated. That's all. It's very rare I spend any time clarifying why it irritates me!

You are way overthinking this. 🙃

YABU. Drivers, legally do not have to stop at a zebra crossing to allow you to cross. They are only legally obligated to stop if you have already stepped onto the road and are completing the crossing. Otherwise they have every right to carry on and not let you cross. They are being polite by stopping so you should be polite and thank them. It takes all of one second to acknowledge someones kindness.

Yes, for the reasons I outlined above.

It implies stopping is voluntary, which makes it more likely next time I'm a pedestrian someone thinks they can choose not to. Which makes pedestrians dither more. Which slows everyone down.

As I said I always look away from crossing pedestrians so I don't have to see a pointless, even I would go so far as to say inappropriate, wave of thanks.

You hate receiving thanks as a driver? Now that really is weird.

It is also possible to use AIBU to garner opinions on whether other people think a behaviour is U or not out of interest, not because one feels one has to change that behaviour based on a consensus.

There's no contractual obligation on using AIBU to always say "ok, majority say U, I will change".

I still think it's not U and I still hate receiving thanks as a driver on a crossing.

If OP has been interested in the discussion but doesn't feel convinced by opinions that is allowed too.