Sister organised engagement party for same week as wedding

Sounds like a sibling rivalry thing she is probably jealous about the wedding and the attention you will.get, why haven't you said anything?

It would be different if your sister’s party was the day before your wedding but I really can’t understand why this would be a problem if the two events are four days apart.

Indeed. Exhausting.
I wouldn't want to hear Uncle Don tell me the same story about his trip to Mallorca a second time round, and for that very reason I wouldn't be going to the engagement party.

Other people in the family MUST be raising an eyebrow at this weird date choice?!

Irrespective of whether it's deliberate, its a really shit idea.

I'm making some assumptions based on your golden child description so apologies if this feels wildly off.

My fear if you don't go to her party is that it will be an excuse to blame you for not being supportive. You don't want to give her ammunition before the wedding to turn people against your or suggest you are the jealous one.

Best to go and be serene about it. Smile at all the congratulations and excitement ahead of your wedding, which will be the obvious focus of conversation. Generously say how excited you are for your sister too every time it comes up.

Don't give any oxygen to potential drama and everyone with a brain will realise what an immature move she had made.

At least she is not announcing her pregnancy at your wedding, right? I mean, this is not a shot-gun engagement party?

Assuming your wedding invitations went out some time ago and your guests have confirmed attendance/made arrangements for time off/bought presents (or know what they’ll get, then your DSis may find she gets a lot of declines and ends up moving the date of her party.

Its out of order. I wouldnt do that and would be annoyed if my sister did that to me. Why cant she wait a few months. Or even two weeks later. I dont think there much to be gained by speaking to her about it if the invites have went out. Its shit. At best its thoughtless and at worst its just mean. She should let the focus be on your wedding ....4 days before doesnt do that. Not sure what i would do if i was you tbh (sorry not helpful) but hope you have the best wedding and are able to not let it bother you (easier said that done).

Kind of agree with you there. I don’t mind a small celebration with close family (a meal, drinks whatever) but I do find full blown parties a bit of a weird vibe. Especially when they don’t go onto actually get married any time soon, what was the point?

I’ve turned down most engagement party invites I get. I don’t see the point.

ill celebrate people when they get married…I’m not doing it twice.

I do agree it’s ver strange timing, but shes done it now so just try not to think about it. Wedding trumps engagement party.

I also wouldn’t want to attend a big party so close to my wedding as I would want to avoid the chance of getting ill!

I’ve never heard of an engagement party FFS how is that even a thing.

But I agree with you and I’d have to say something.

It’s incredibly selfish of her to expect your family to have double the expenses in such a short amount of time.

I am assuming that most people would be scrambling about the weekend before getting last minute bits for the wedding.

She can only be doing this because she’s jealous. There is no other reason.
To have it before the wedding instead of afterwards speaks volumes.

I would have to say it to her.

It’s a bit weird and I would be annoyed too I think OP. All your relatives are going to use up their “good chat” on her party and it will alter the atmosphere of your day. Has she got form for trying to steal your thunder?

As a parent I would be having very strong words with my child if they pulled that stunt on their sibling.

A small family celebratory engagement dinner, fine. An entire party less than a week before a sibling's wedding - no way.

from a guest point of view, I don’t think I would want to go to 2 family events in one week. Seems ott

My initial thoughts were that it is very unreasonable of her, and could mean that people are a bit partied-out, and less enthusiastic for yours.

However, given yours is on a Wednesday, which means many attendees will be in work the next day, I would guess you aren't going for a big party atmosphere. It's still rude, but I don't think the impact will be huge.

I’m musing on the fact that the engagement party is going to be a looong time after the engagement. Seems a bit weird not to have it at the time you, well, get engaged? (If at all. DD didn’t bother and has pull all effort into the wedding prep).

You must be worried about her making such a committment at 19.

It wouldn't bother me. It's only a party, not an actual wedding. Surely it's just similar to a birthday party?

I'm of the opinion the more happy occasions we can have in families, the better.

As a guest I wouldn’t be too pleased as I’m introverted and having to attend two big events so close together sounds exhausting to me.
And having spend money on two gifts so close together too.

Engagement parties are wanky . It used to be to start a couple on married life so typical gifts were towels, sheets , rolling pin 😅 , etc. Now there are people living together, bridal showers , etc. Don't think any of your relatives will be keen on this just before your wedding . Very silly of her.

Speak to her about it.