DD with friend’s family for 8 hours only ate crisps

Where was the activity? If she was out at somewhere with food options like a burger van or shops I would fully expect a 17 year old to have money with them and just say they were going to grab a bite to eat. Did she say she’d wanted lunch? As someone else said, appetites can be less in the heat.
If she was at someone’s house for all or most of the day I can see why it might be more difficult to speak up and say you are hungry.

I would! If I was hosting my childs school friend. I would absolutely offer at least a light lunch!

I mean at 17 she won’t starve, she’s fine to miss a meal, I was regularly not eating til the evening at that age. Yes it would have been nice if they’d offered food, but at that age she should be more self sufficient. She’s basically an adult for gods sake!

Fair enough - I would say the same 😬

I'm not sure I'd look to you to learn about what's rude given your previous comments on this thread, lol.

It appears that plenty of us learnt early on how rude it is! People tend to be drawn to people with similar values fortunately.

I have only had a couple of instances when someone has been ill mannered enough to ask for stuff for themselves and fortunately they are no longer in my life

If it was a birthday or a special day I would have bought food in especially. Otherwise, at 17 I would not really have thought about offering food - I don't make my just turned 18 year old any lunch or ask him what he wants because he will get it and make it himself when hungry.
As a parent, I would have assumed my child would sort out food for themselves and friends at home, or they would buy it elsewhere. If none of them were eating I would have assumed it was a choice - for example, my son just made lunch at 5pm! I might ask if they were going to have lunch, but if I was busy or going out I probably wouldn't have thought twice.

By equating it to ‘a bit autistic’. Autism isn’t something you have a ‘bit’ of. That’s a dismissive attitude.

The challenges faces by each person are on a complex gradient.

But people are determined to gatekeep the term.

This is alien to me OP. Terrible 😞

Nobody is arguing that people should perhaps offer but the issue is with people asking

We did discuss upthread that asking for things in other people’s houses is for a lot of people a sign of a total lack of social manners!

Blimey 😧

At a friends, yes they would have been. Not at home.

Oh dear. You are babying her. Let her find her feet. At 17 she should be able to sort this! At the very least ask or make her own lunch to take.

Is this real?? Someone's winding us up!

I was super sympathetic to this until I saw she was 17!! At that age and if the parents were out why didn't she go "mate, it's lunchtime what shall we eat?" Even if friend says "well I'm not hungry" she could ask to get herself something.
Teenagers of that age are able to go out, cook something etc. I don't make my 10 year old lunch on the holidays - he sorts himself a bagel/wrap/omelette and if he had a friend round I'd probably say "why don't you have a go at making lunch for friend too". By 17 I'm seeing that wholly as their entire responsibility and I don't see the parents as remotely responsible for your dd, she is at her friends house. The friend does need a few more social manners but dd should've said something if she was hungry!

This person is 17 not 7 as I thought. Presumably independent and a mind of her own ? So shee ecognises being hungry?

It's poor hosting - the friend should have offered lunch imo. A 17yo should be aware of basic hosting. My 12yo has friends over a lot and she always offers them drinks, snacks and lunch - if I'm not around, she will at least makes some bagels, if there's nothing preplanned like a pizza she can heat up.

I would see this as a learning opportunity for your dd and how she'd deal with it next time - simply saying, So what shall we do about lunch? would open up with conversation. My 14yo has ASD and needs more explicit examples for social situations.

It's obviously not the end of the world but definitely worth discussing how to deal with.

At 17 I'd expect her to have the ability to discuss lunch provisions and buy herself something when out if the family didn't plan to eat until later that evening after she left. She needs to learn resilience and not to expect to be provided for.

That's nothing I was invited to s birthday gathering where NO FOOD was there !!!!

She's basically an adult though not a little kid she's 17 if you haven't got that far down the posts.

I'd be annoyed to learn my DD hadn't fed her guest, but I wouldn't necessarily have done it myself, especially if I wasn't eating.

I think your the issue here then you need to teach her some independence being 17 this could potentially mean she's going off to uni soon so she needs to learn to care for herself before then. I get making one meal a day (like dinner as a family) but making all her meals is a bit overkill (can she make a bowl of Cereal for herself for breakfast or do you do it all for her)🙈😂

She's 17? When I read this I thought this was about a young DC I have to be honest..... also mine DS's 10 & 7 have been hone all weekend but playing out with friends..... they ate lunch once all weekend..... other than that they snacked and ate total junk tbh but then a big tea/dinner and guess what.... their absolutely fine they were enjoying their time with friends in the sun and totally lived their best lives. At 17 I think she should be taking responsibility for herself and her eating OP this is an issue with your DD not the other family.

If my kid had a friend over I’d ask if they’d eaten though, and make sure the friend knew they could help themselves at the very least. That’s how I was raised. A lot of the weirdly angry comments seem to think offering teenagers food is almost socially unacceptable, it’s absolutely bizarre.

She's 17 if she was a little kid then I would have got being a bit annoyed but she's basically an adult if she wants food she could have grabbed something from the cafe at the activity surely!