DD with friend’s family for 8 hours only ate crisps

Do you really think it's cheeky for a 17 year old to organise having lunch with their friend 🤔How strange!

Maybe not every parent could afford to be coughing up money for someone else's kids. I would think someone was taking the piss if I was good enough to take their kid out and then they expected me to be buying them ice creams etc.

Certainly ne er sent them out with friends parents without money to spend. Even my own DD makes sure her child has money if I take him out for the day

Not relevant to 2 teenagers indoors by themselves eating crisps though

Knowing teenager they way well.have chosen to eat crisps for lunch. Mine would've happily done so if he CBA To make anything

I can understand you be upset about your son. No food or water all day. Yikes!

So apparently when you're 17 you don't need food ... according to many on here 🙄

My children are older and I'd be annoyed if they didn't offer their friends food and drinks. It's quite basic.

If your daughter knew beforehand she probably would have bought something while she had the chance or taken something with her.

I remember my son was about 10 years old and was invited to spend the day with a friend for his birthday. They wanted him to spend the whole day with their son so he left in the morning. Went to a trampoline park in the afternoon, Went back to the house. No food or water and then got a kfc about 6pm. He said he felt sick because he'd gone all day with no food or water. Pisses me off to this day.... 8 years later

It would be easier to say, 'Let's get something to eat,' if there were somewhere to go (but the OP said there are no food places nearby). The DD would need to say, 'I'm starving. What do you have in the house to eat?"

I don't agree that it's a faux pas for a 17yo to say to their similarly aged friend while hanging out "I'm starving, let's get something to eat".

The people I know who have your attitude aren't meek and compliant either, they're just passive aggressive and they love a good bitch and moan when their hapless target didn't correctly guess whatever it was that they wanted.

I'm not saying you're like this because I don't know you obviously, but literally everyone I know who makes a big deal about etiquette is insufferably unpleasant and ill-mannered themselves.

OMG! How incredibly insensitive to eat lunch and not include your son. I am completely at a loss for words—that was so cruel.

I'd have found it odd too. When mine were teens we'd offer something or tell DSs to sort them out. It was pretty standard for all of their firiends. TBH I was a very shy teenager and could imagine not speaking up even though I was hungry.

Only time something similar happened was when DS2 had a playdate when he was at primary school and later told me that the family had sat down for lunch but not invited him. I quizzed him about it thinking misunderstanding, but he was quite clear, they left him playing in the garden, called his friend in and the four of them tucked in. When he asked if he could have something to eat, he was given (by the mum) two jaffa cakes on a plate and sat with them watching them eat. Very strange.

She’s 17??! I thought you were going to say she was 5.

She’s perfectly capable of organising food at a friend’s house at that age.

just read your other posts: if you think she may be autistic, then it might be an idea to equip her with strategies to help her communicate

@Z0rr0
I think it's shocking that your daughter wasn't offered food & drink. It doesn't matter how old she is, autistic or not, who has guests & doesn't offer anything? Reminds me of the time my then-young son was taken out for the day with his friend & his parents. We expected the parents to pay / cater as we always did with our childrens' friends, but no, they expected money.. all the other parents we knew were like us, food, drink, ice creams, rides etc were all paid for if we took other children out with us!

it’s a minefield, isn’t it 🤣 I know it was about the US but I think the ‘two countries divided by the same language’ quote sums it up 🤣

You are choosing to misinterpret people’s comments. I was one of those posters and I can assure you that the last thing I am is meek and compliant.

It isn’t self sacrificing to choose not to ask for things in someone else‘s home.

Neither is ‘wrong’, it just depends on people’s expectations. I have dropped people for being cheeky fuckers and I’m sure both of us were relieved.

If you and your friends all have the same attitude towards it, it’s fine.

Thanks for clarifying! It might also be age-related. I am in my mid-60s, which might explain why I say "host" rather than "hang out." Canadians of my generation also often have British parents, so we inherited some long-outdated British terms from them.

No one is a bit autistic. A person either is or isn’t.
Did her friend not have any lunch either?

There is absolutely no cheeky fuckery in a teenager suggesting to her friend that they get something to eat.

I know there's a couple of posters on here saying they were raised to think that it's good etiquette to suffer in silence and expect your 'host' to anticipate and fulfil your every need. But that's outdated, and just a terrible thing to encourage in a young person as that kind of passive, self-sacrificing thinking will leech into other areas of her life too.

It wasn’t directed at you only. It was an observation on this thread and MN in general - many people use it on Mn and it just sounds a little pretentious. Different if it’s the usual in your country of course.

Good point!

Because you had queried my comment. I was the poster who used the word "host" a few posts ago. I was explaining that it must a difference in connotation or usage between Britain and North America.

But when you are talking about teens hanging out the dynamic is quite different to adults hosting. At 17 I would have had no issue saying to my 17 year old friend 'het what are we eating' at her place. But as an adult I wouldn't ask that - even if it happens to be the exact same friend!

It’s a middle class concept on here. And perhaps a little pretentious. i don’t know a single soul in RL who says it.

And kindly, why are you querying my comment when, as you say, you aren’t in the UK so it’s bound to be different.

"Hosting" or for example, "whose turn is it to host this week?" is what we normally say in Canada. In Britain, it may have a different connotation.

‘Shy bairns get nowt’? Really?

I was always taught that being a cheeky fucker was a bad thing.

Funny how different everyone is…

No it’s the use of it in a grand way as if it’s some kind of formal dining occasion

Blame DD and her friend. They should have sorted lunch out together at lunchtime. The parents likely expected the same.