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Original poster

DD with friend’s family for 8 hours only ate crisps

515 replies

Z0rr0 · 25/05/2026 19:24

My DD was invited to an activity with friends today. She ate a toasted English muffin before she left at 8.15. By the time she came back at 4pm she’d only been offered some crisps to eat. I’m grateful the family took her out (I paid for her ticket which was less than a tenner) and hosted her at their home, but I just can’t fathom not offering her some lunch.

OP posts:
Anarchy99 · 25/05/2026 20:36

tiramisugelato · 25/05/2026 20:29

What's impolite about asking for food when you're hungry?

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Tbf it IS impolite. Maybe it’s generational but the only thing I (GenX) would ask for in anyone’s house is a glass of water.

And I would find it rude if someone asked me for stuff in my house

lornad00m · 25/05/2026 20:36

RS1987 · 25/05/2026 19:29

Of course she’d expect her child to be fed!! Would you take a child out for 8 hours and not give them lunch? Come on!

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She's 17.

SemperIdem · 25/05/2026 20:35

I don’t think I’d actively seek to provide food for teens that old. I’d assume they’re old enough to sort themselves out if hungry, because they are 99% of the time.

Familywhennc · 25/05/2026 20:34

My children at that age were left to their own devices regarding food. Would never have occurred to me to offer ,they know where the food is!

arethereanyleftatall · 25/05/2026 20:33

Op, if your dd is planning on uni next year, it might be worth finding out where her cohort are at in terms in all areas in terms of living independently. It might be that she’s quite far behind in all areas and so will struggle at uni. I have been prepping my dds for independence for about a decade, there’s piles of steps!

Laura95167 · 25/05/2026 20:33

Z0rr0 · 25/05/2026 19:28

No one ate lunch although the parents went out for a bit, so maybe ate then? She’s 17 and we gave her a decent early dinner, so it’s not a biggy. I just can’t imagine having guests for a whole day and not offering like at least a sandwich or something.

I thought she was like 9 or 10. At 17 id have assumed she would get her own at the event or ask for something

Bonsaibaby · 25/05/2026 20:33

Was she complaining about only eating crisps? My 17 year olds would make them and their friends food unless they were coming for tea and I’d do some for them too

Contrarymary30 · 25/05/2026 20:31

Octavia64 · 25/05/2026 20:23

Many people start teaching their teens to cook.

brownies/cubs have cooking badges (mostly assembly at that age) and scouts and guides have full on cordon bleu chef type stuff for kids who want to do it.

by 17 mine had been cooking a family meal once a week for a few years in order to embed the skills for university.

at that age they generally told me if they had friends coming round and I made myself scarce as the friends are not coming round to see me!

(they usually also asked me to buy loads of packet pizza or similar).

by that age we were deliberately trying to operate more like a shared house to get them used to independence and ready for uni.

also, in all honesty, a group of 17 year olds or even a pair of them don’t want to hang around with uncool old parents.

I was working , cooking my Dad's tea and engaged at 17. I wouldn't call a 17yr old a child who needed to be fed .

Laura95167 · 25/05/2026 20:31

Is that all she was offered or all she would eat?

katepilar · 25/05/2026 20:30

I agree with you its weird.
I also understand if she found it awkward to ask about food. I would have likely felt awkard in such situation way into my 20s.

tiramisugelato · 25/05/2026 20:29

Datafan55 · 25/05/2026 20:27

A polite kid isn't going to ask though: I imagine she was waiting to be offered.

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What's impolite about asking for food when you're hungry?

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 25/05/2026 20:29

What awful people. She's only 204 months old, it would have taken them seconds to cut up some grapes or puree some carrots for her. Shocking 😓

CDTC · 25/05/2026 20:29

17😂 I honestly thought we were talking about a 7 year old. Jesus OP.

VIII · 25/05/2026 20:29

Datafan55 · 25/05/2026 20:27

A polite kid isn't going to ask though: I imagine she was waiting to be offered.

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Asking doesn't make her impolite, what an odd take on the situation.

Datafan55 · 25/05/2026 20:27

ididabigfatsmelly · 25/05/2026 19:29

I thought u meant she was a lot younger. Maybe at 17 they assumed she would say when hungry or she would ask to have something

A polite kid isn't going to ask though: I imagine she was waiting to be offered.

Autumnyears · 25/05/2026 20:27

YES

Octavia64 · 25/05/2026 20:23

Many people start teaching their teens to cook.

brownies/cubs have cooking badges (mostly assembly at that age) and scouts and guides have full on cordon bleu chef type stuff for kids who want to do it.

by 17 mine had been cooking a family meal once a week for a few years in order to embed the skills for university.

at that age they generally told me if they had friends coming round and I made myself scarce as the friends are not coming round to see me!

(they usually also asked me to buy loads of packet pizza or similar).

by that age we were deliberately trying to operate more like a shared house to get them used to independence and ready for uni.

also, in all honesty, a group of 17 year olds or even a pair of them don’t want to hang around with uncool old parents.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/05/2026 20:22

Gloriia · 25/05/2026 20:17

It is odd op. To have someone as a guest at your house all day, nowhere near shops or takeaways and not even offer a sandwich is just a bit crap.

Next time tell her to suggest to her friend that they order a takeaway.

But it’s on the friend, definitely not the parents. Are they both ND op, and it sounds like they have never hung out before (as you have said both that your dd would feed a guest if she had one and also that she can’t feed herself so presumably she’s never actually had a guest) so maybe both of them are unaware of social norms and quite far behind developing socially?

Contrarymary30 · 25/05/2026 20:22

RS1987 · 25/05/2026 19:29

Of course she’d expect her child to be fed!! Would you take a child out for 8 hours and not give them lunch? Come on!

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She's 17 !

Nottopanic · 25/05/2026 20:22

Gloriia · 25/05/2026 20:17

It is odd op. To have someone as a guest at your house all day, nowhere near shops or takeaways and not even offer a sandwich is just a bit crap.

Next time tell her to suggest to her friend that they order a takeaway.

To suggest they order a takeaway is just rude and lazy. Who is going to pay for it?

VIII · 25/05/2026 20:22

PartoftheBand · 25/05/2026 20:20

I think you are getting some quite harsh responses here. If I had someone visiting my house, regardless of their age, I'd offer them food out of politeness. Ridiculous to suggest teenagers would be embarrassed or annoyed by this.

Her friends parents went out. Their child and the OPs daughter are 17 they don't need someone to baby them and offer them food like they are on a playdate.

AleaEim · 25/05/2026 20:21

it is weird to not offer any food and I’d worry that this friend could have eating problems if it’s normal not to eat all day. Keep an eye on this one OP! I would never, not now and definitely not at 17 ask someone for food in their house. I’m Irish though and you have to offer us food/ drinks at least three times before we’d accept it even if it’s a close friends house.

WonderingWanda · 25/05/2026 20:20

Maybe the parents assumed their child had fed her while they were out. I would expect my ds to sort his mates lunch if they were over, and they would definitely ask him for food if hungry. Does the friend usually avoid eating?

Northermcharn · 25/05/2026 20:20

6yrs old YANBU. 17yrs old YABVU.

Anarchy99 · 25/05/2026 20:20

Just realise it was only 8 hours, she had breakfast then ate some crisps.