DD with friend’s family for 8 hours only ate crisps

That's really quite shocking that a 16/17yr old isn't able to cook for herself (unless she has a medical reason of course). Didn't she do Food Tech at school? Have you never taught her how to cook? I was cooking for myself long before that, probably from about 12. I was working and cooking (independently without help) for dozens of people at age 16. I moved out of home at 16yrs old just before turning 17yrs and loved being so independent. You're doing your daughter a massive disservice in life by not teaching her basic life skills.

Why not?

They can just say they’re waiting on a food shop or something.

Most people expect teenagers to sort themselves out at this age, in fact most 17yos wouldn’t thank you for butting in fussing about sandwiches when they’ve got a friend over! If your daughter couldn’t tell her friend she was hungry, or pop out for a meal deal, that is squarely on her.

I think it would be equally rude to visit someone’s house and order food. Im
shocked at some of the responses on here tbh, looks like no one offers food and it’s considered normal.

They shouldn’t have to.

Would you expect them to give their friend a cooked meal given it was only a few hours?

I wonder if it’s connected to the fairly constant snacking that happens when children are small? (No criticism but just an observation)

When I went to school I often couldn’t be arsed to have breakfast so the first time I ate would be about 12 noon, with a cup of water, then nothing to eat or drink until 6.00.

Not society. Mumsnet, it is wise not to confuse them...

Or, in the interest of helping your own daughter in life so that she doesn’t struggle with a lack of independence, you could take on board that most 17 year olds can and do cook their own lunch. Or carry on thinking your way is superior.

If the host genuinely has nothing in, then they can explain that 🤷‍♀️

I would ask my daughter if she’s offered food to her guests. It’s how I was brought up. My mum would have asked me and my sister would have asked her son.
Tbh my family would disown me if they knew that my DD’s friend only had crisps for the whole day at my house. We are not a perfect family but our guests are always fed (at least offered)

4 kids here. 20 years of hosting and my children having been hosted.

This was very poor.
It is normal to provide food or a plan for your children to provide food.

This is very poor and what I would expect from poor parents that dont provide properly for their children and their children haven't been socialised to host.

Sandwiches.
Toasties
Frozen pizzas
Sausages, chips etc.
Pasta chicken and pesto..

All foods my kids would provide for any peer.
Normal basic food.

Very very strange for no food to be provided.
A very poor house and parents that are poor.

Again though how do you know these parents didn't have food in that your daughter could have eaten. We're they meant to make her lunch before going out. You seem intent on seeing the bad in them and wanting someone to blame.

I think we might be in the minority. We always provide a meal/hearty snack and the visiting teenagers often behave as if it’s unusual ie effusive thanks and sometimes offer DS money 😂 Which indicates that it’s not the norm to be fed at other people’s houses these days.

Of course we would have food in, everybody would. I’m sure your daughter’s friends had plenty of food available. I just don’t make/offer food for older teens because they would much prefer to make it themselves. I’ve invested time and energy in making sure my teens can cook for themselves. My oldest is a great cook. He would definitely get food for his friends if they wanted some. And his friends would definitely say if they were hungry! My children are often home alone, especially after school while we are working, often friends come home with them after school. There is always plenty of food in the house. If they’re hungry they will eat! My 13 year old would probably sort food for himself and friends but I might still offer at their age. Maybe start encouraging a bit more independence for your dd op?

I can’t believe someone suggested the DD ask for a takeaway though 🤣

8 hours isn’t forever though, given she had eaten before she went, and had crisps while there.

I agree to take cereal bars or something next time if she struggled

"She's a bit autistic." Good grief.

God that’s awful!

I do think your DD needs to either speak up, re food or if necessary order food in via Deliveroo/Uber eats. It would be a good idea to take a snack bar, crisps, fruit with her next time but even so not to eat for 8 hours is a long time. She could speak to her friend and ask if she’d like her to bring food over (sandwich, salad) in future.

My 16 year old DS orders justeat and gets it delivered if he’s at friend’s and there is no food on the horizon! But he really doesn’t enjoy skipping meals (chip off the old block).

At least they ate crisps together! I remember when dd and I were holidaying in Palma and her school friend in Magaluf with her parents and her school friend invited my dd to come for a day as they were staying in a 5-star hotel with amazing slides, etc. Teens they were. After a bus ride I dropped my dd off at the hotel gates and went off on my own, to pick her up later on, to travel back. On collecting her, I found out that the friend's parents asked my dd to wait by the swimming pool whilst they go for lunch. All I am saying is that at least they ate crisps together!

17? I thought she would be about 7 or 8 !!
I'm sure she wouldn't die of hunger missing a lunch

It is strange no food was offered but as you said the parents went out so presumably they thought their child would sort out food for both of them. I’d be very surprised if they wouldn’t let their daughter sort out food for herself and her friend.