DD with friend’s family for 8 hours only ate crisps

Does everyone have biscuits/cakes/bread etc in on the off chance then?

No, your post just didn’t annihilate the friend’s parents and back pat your parenting the way you hoped it would.

Don’t ask for opinions if you’re then going to name call posters who comment their opinion and facts etc that disagree with your opinion.

Don’t go to Ireland 😆 at least not any of the places my family lives! They would gang up on you and hound you until you took a bit of cake

Could it be cost was a issue??? I'd expect if taking a child out parent to ask do they require lunch money at least

Not necessarily. She’s old enough to last a few hours without asking, surely? She did have something to eat in any case

🤣🤣She’s 17🤣🤣 thought it was going to a wee child!

Honestly, that’s a “you” issue. It’s totally normal
to offer guests tea, coffee and something to eat to go along with it.

Ah okay - thanks.

What will you do when it’s 2-4 friends and they’re over a few times a week? Be realistic. Most would need another part time job to offer food each time.

it’s very clear this is your first young adult. Their friends move from being a “guest” to regular visitors and familiar faces. It’s not possible to put in food each time for all the “guests” at this stage. It’s ridiculous and very naive. Most will have part time jobs and even feeding themselves at home.

if your daughter can’t say to a friend without it seeing rude “I’m hungry” “can we eat” etc then they’re a funny friendship!

I think if you're at someone's house most of the day (as a teen), it would be normal for the friend who lives there to offer a sandwich for lunch or something like that, or you go out to McDonald's or wherever is near. That's what mine would do.

I always fed my children s friends however old they were. There was one friend who's parents were pretty eccentric. When DS was about 16 and went to their house he reckoned there was actually nothing in the house to eat, not even breakfast cereal. The parents were out and they searched the kitchen.

He was used to my house where I always have enough food to withstand a siege.

It’s just a Mexican tortilla wrap, filled with melted cheese mostly, sometimes veg.

We fill them up with cheese, fold over and melt on the griddle/frying pan.

very basic, takes about 10 mins.

Because I would assume it was just something people say to be polite

What are quesadillas?

It really didn’t come across that way - my bed 😳🫣

Yes I know this. I’m not stupid.

My comment was in jest!

Why would you be mortified to accept a cup of tea or some cake?

My dc is mid teens, I had lost count of the number of meals I have cooked for their friends over the years. However in the last couple of years, if a friend was around for quite a while I would ask if anyone was hungry and when they inevitably say yes, tell my teen to make them all something basic like noodles or quesidillas.

if we are out with teens friends and eating in a restaurant, then yes they are included.

I dont cater for them anymore really, but keep an at distance eye on things and remind my teen to feed her friends!

Also at this age, the friends always bring their own money if we are out and the teens suit themselves a lot of the time.

i can see that if there are difficulties with social interactions these unsaid assumptions could be opaque, particularly if not round the other family much.

According to OP the parents went out and it was just the two 17 year olds (eating crisps)

Yeah at 17 I would expect my own kid to sort out food for them and their mates. Although I would bark a reminder at some point if I saw they had just eaten crisps all day.

It would never occur to me that two 17yo in a city wouldn't sort out their own lunch. If I was there and making my own of course I would offer, but if not..

They propably should have offered lunch but if they didn't have anything either then it's not like they left her out. They just might not have lunch and didn't occur to offer anything cause it is not their normal

I wonder if they ate A LOT of crisps and totally filled up on them which OP's dd tried to play down as she knows OP would not approve! 😂

I voted YANBU then saw the age of your child. She should’ve spoken up for herself if hungry. Essentially though, this is a difference in hosting styles. You’d have fed her: her friend’s parents did not.

I don’t think anyone is saying that your daughter should have been denied food. Most people are suggesting that teens are generally capable of making lunch for themselves. Your DD’s friend is the one who should have offered lunch, not her parents. By this age, many teens would be mortified if their parents stepped in. And if the friend didn’t offer anything, it would have been perfectly acceptable for your DD to say that she was a bit hungry. There was nothing dramatic or complicated about this situation. Just a couple of teens who perhaps didn’t communicate as well as they should have.