DD with friend’s family for 8 hours only ate crisps

The parents went out it seems leaving the teens behind. Id Imagkne they assumed their daughter ( whose friend or is) would offer foid

See the idea of people helping themselves is just 😳

So do I, but you couldn’t buy anything as there were no deliveries.

Two 17 year olds and all they ate all day was some crisps?!

Even from a much younger age me and my mates would raid the kitchen ourselves (led by whoever's house it was) and make a sandwich/toast if we were hungry! We were all very independent latch key kids though. Did her friend not eat anything but some crisps too?

From your initial post I thought you were talking about a MUCH younger child children. And I say this as an autistic woman with an autistic child. I can't fathom how they both just went all day with neither of them saying they were hungry and going to the kitchen. 😳 kill

Tbf I lived in an area with shops etc close by so I guess I would have managed somehow

I have a 17 year old. If they had invited a friend round for the day and I’d gone out for a few hours, it wouldn’t occur to me to ‘make sure’ they’d eaten. I would presume they could manage that by themselves, them being nearly 18!
If your daughter was hungry, she needs to say, to her friend, ‘I’m hungry, are you…what shall we do for lunch?’

I didn’t say I still only have that. I have a range of food now. I was going through some fairly severe mental health issues, paired with not having much money.

As for it being ‘normal’, I clearly never got the memo. If there were biscuits I probably would eat them, why would I keep them on the offchance that someone would be impolite enough to just turn up?

I’m ND too but still keep basics in the house in case I’m unwell or can’t get to a supermarket for whatever reason. We were snowed in for several days in 2023 and if we’d not had anything in the cupboards we’d have been very, very hungry!

I couldn’t do that when I lived alone. I would just eat what was there usually on the day I bought it. I’m ND so wouldn’t know from one day to the next what I would want to eat and couldn’t afford to have cupboards full of stuff.

I don’t eat most of the ‘cupboard staples’ in any case - at best I would only have had the foods I ate if I didn’t know they were coming.

You must realise you are very unusual not to have anything in your home to offer guests.

Exactly - pretending as though it’s normal to only have mustard and salad cream in the house and absolutely nothing else 🫣😂

But what you have in is not the definition of normal.

It is normal to have bread and biscuits in a UK household.

I am not as bad now as I have food in the fridge but would still be pissed off at being asked for something if I hadn’t offered.

Like I said I would offer tea, coffee or water to an unexpected visitor but would have to specifically buy the biscuits etc.

Well, that’s very unusual.

Most people buy several days or a weeks’ worth of food at a time and have cupboard staples in regardless - we always have pasta, beans and bread in, for example, as well as crisps, cereal bars, biscuits and other basics.

I think at 17 yr12 you need to step back. My dd woukd have been mortified if I’d shouted them down for pizza and smiley faces like they were 7. I was always happy for dd to have friends over and would get food in but would leave them to it.

That's a good point. Generally, people factor in a meal somewhere along the day and invite their guests to share. Even if they're seventeen.

My DC are slightly older than this & I don’t make them lunch very often. There is food available to help themselves (& any friends) but I don’t go out of my way to give them
lunch. I cook them dinner every evening though.

You must realise that it's perfectly common for people to have basics like bread or biscuits in. It seems you're an outlier here but I don't think you'd find anyone else who had just a few condiments in the fridge.

Tbf if she gets the heads up, my mum usually bakes a cake for visitors. Otherwise she doesn’t have biscuits etc

Nope - I don’t have that kind of thing in unless I know someone is coming.

When I lived alone I had a fridge with some salad cream
and some mustard and that was about it. I bought food as I needed it

I mean, they’re just normal cupboard staples aren’t they? Not necessarily cake but I always have biscuits, bread, fruit, snack sized chocolate bars etc. in the house.

I mean surely at 17 you say to your pals shall we get some lunch now?

If they were coming for lunch of course. But OP’s daughter wasn’t starved

I voted YANBU but then I saw that your daughter wasn’t a child so yes ofc YABU!?

Of course it’s normal to offer lunch to people you’re effectively hosting for a whole day OP, I’m not sure why people are pretending otherwise. Wondering if people on this thread would invite someone out for the day, take them back to their house and not offer them food? If so, they’ve got shit hosting skills!