AIBU to text my professor instead of waiting?

Ah okay, that actually makes more sense now. I honestly did not realize “Professor” has a much more senior/formal meaning in the UK. In my case it’s a small art school and we only really have this one professor for the course (you can choose your professor and each prof has then 18-20 students), so the dynamic is much more informal and personal than people here probably imagined. And we use professor's first name, never the title. I'm not in the US either.

And regarding the account thing - I deleted my original account because I thought it would also delete the thread. I felt overwhelmed because people seemed to focus mostly on mocking my age instead of understanding the context. I did not realize the thread would stay up even after deleting the account.

I was honestly surprised by how serious people were being in the comments, calling me 13 and whatnot. I think people are imagining a very formal university setup, but I study at a really small art school where each professor only has around 18–20 students for the whole course, so the dynamic is way more personal. Our professor is quite involved in studio and personal issues and even calls students sometimes, so this is not considered that unusual here.

The only thing I’m actually unsure about is whether I should’ve waited until June to talk about it properly in person instead of sending a text earlier. I still think the additional context mattered, but maybe text was not the best way to communicate it. She told my friend that she'll talk to me as well as the other girl in June, but to me it felt unfair because she did not talk to me directly so I ended up texting.

This sounds quite a lot like an issue i had with another girl on a school trip.

When we were 11.

It really was, because context is very important in situations. Thanks for the apology and sorry if we misunderstood each other. I was trying to help, even if my help comes across as blunt. It's my training of many years! Hard to do online. It was a real question and I thought it was phrased sensitively.

I think too much depends on your university culture and your professor's approach for many of us to give sensible advice from our own experience. But if your professor likes being contacted by text and often mediates in disputes, I suppose the only question is whether you should have waited to contact later. In your professor's position, if I was going to involve myself, I'd prefer to have plenty of advance warning.

So with the extra detail you have given, your actions sound okay. Is there any reason why you are having doubts about this?

Because in the UK, a Professor is a very senior person and this would be even more ridiculous than it might be sounding to you OP.

In the US, they call all lecturers / tutors 'Professor' - it doesn't have the same ranking / status / seniority that the title has in the UK.

It is quite bizarre to 'delete your account' and start a new one barely 2 hours after starting the thread . It makes it confusing for people who just want to read the OP's posts in a thread.

I'm very sorry, I think I misunderstood what you said. I genuinely thought it was not a real question.

Your professor sounds like she is massively overstepping. It's not her job to sort out petty disputes and fallings out between students. It all sounds absolutely ridiculous, including getting the third person involved.

Maybe just do your work and try to behave decently and politely to others. It all sounds crazy.

I work in this arena; this is how we speak. Sorry you don't like it. I work with struggling adults - by all means come to my place of work and tell me how to say it better, no one I work with thinks it is mocking at all. But you know better apparently? Seriously, come and volunteer with us. The way we speak to and about people are agreed with the people we work with. They lead the way. Thanks for your opinion, I'll ask at work tomorrow how others feel, because it's really important that we get it right. Maybe they will agree with you, maybe they won't. I know English isn't your first language - I work with people whose first language is not English too - but a tone doesn't equate to advice. My words are the advice. You find them unhelpful, that's fine. But you don't know my tone and you are assuming a lot. I was genuinely trying to help, but you've got defensive now, so I will take my help elsewhere. I wish you all the best.

I really don't care because this is just some random forum. Reddit is far better than this, at least people don't talk to you like this.

You really aren’t coming across well here OP!

I wonder what the other woman’s version of this would be.

You could have asked the same thing in a normal way without phrasing it like that. Saying “adults who struggle to relate to one another due to specific needs” obviously comes across as mocking. You are free to disagree with how I handled the situation, but I do not think speaking to people in that tone is constructive advice.

I needed to know the answer to the question in order to give advice. It was not degrading it was factual and fair, and you never answered it, which a person seeking true advice would have done. It was a valid question and I gave advice even without the benefit of the additional context I asked for. And you have randomly opened a new account - maybe just to tell everyone else off? You asked for advice - you were given it - you just didn't like it. Take it on the chin.

Crazy how some of you are proving my point about bullying while calling me immature 😭

And I thought adults were supposed to know how to give advice without mocking strangers online <3.

And honestly, if you do not have actual advice to give, maybe do not speak to strangers in such a degrading way. Some of the comments here are far more immature than the situation I originally posted about.

No, why?

I'm the OP (I had deleted my other account). My professor wanted to talk to me in June and move me to other studio when she heard the other girl's story, thinking I'm at fault. Usually professors do not get involved but I dont know why my professor does this a lot.

Why on earth is any of this anything to do with a professor, it all sounds very childish

My professor does not like emails unfortunately, she asks us to text/call on WhatsApp.

I deleted my old account and made this one just to reply because comments like “you sound 12” or “you sound 15” honestly are not helpful at all, and at this point I kind of regret posting here for advice.
Also, for context, this particular professor actually does mediate between students a lot because it’s a very small art university. She allocates the studio spaces herself and regularly gets involved when conflicts affect the working environment, so this is not some completely unusual thing in our department. People have gone to her over much smaller issues before. When that girl went to her, the professor had told my friend that she had believed the other girl's story and was going to move me to other studio. So that's why I felt it was unfair that the blame was on me.
You obviously do not have to agree with how I handled it, but I honestly find some of the mocking comments here more juvenile than my original post.

I am a Professor and I would be absolutely gobsmacked to be drawn into the middle of this sort of spat. Sort it out (or don't) - it has nothing to do with your Professor.

I think you’re getting some harsh replied here. She sounds a nasty piece of work making fun of your arthritis. Who does that?! The rest sounds equally unhinged. It’s totally normal for you to want no contact with this person given they lied about you.

It would have been better to email the professor and ask whom to address your issue to. Text is not appropriate unless it’s an emergency.

i hope they will help you. If not just don’t engage with her.

Your professor is there to teach their subject, not to referee playground disputes. This is not primary school and they’re not your mum.