My MIL recently turned 80, and for the big day they had a big celebration with family in a hotel(3 course meal) and has recently gone on holiday with FIL for all inclusive week abroad. We're a bit strapped for cash at mo as I have taken a career break to look after our 2 young kids under 2. My SIL paid for their holiday, while BIL gave them 1000 pounds spending money. I thought this was really extravagant, but on hearing about these gestures my DH offered to pay for the 3 course meal for extended family as his gift. I thought this was far too much given our financial circumstances but said nothing. He then said he popped over with an envelope of spending money for their holiday too(again said nothing, but we have been relying on my credit card while we go on our own holiday ). He recently told me his MIL has now announced that for ANOTHER bday celebration she would like my DH and his siblings, all their partners and children to go away for at least 3 nights together next month somewhere in the country. We are just back from our own weeks holiday, broke, exhausted and I really think she is just using her birthday as an excuse to get another holiday that she wants as FIL refuses to go anywhere else. I find my SIL to be very toxic and my children dont really get on with hers- there is an age gap and they tend to be quite mean to my two! Also with 2 small boys under two I do not like group holidays-our hols revolve around their sleep and meal times and my in-laws dont get that, it has caused tension before(passive aggressive comments about leaving dinners early to get them home to bed). I already know if we say we can't afford it, MIL will insist on paying, something im not comfortable with as I find its quite controlling. If there wasn't already a family celebration I would consider(relunctantly) but this all feels too much and I am already dreading it. Am I unreasonable to refuse to go? DH can already sense Im not thrilled.