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AIBU?

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AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

812 replies

CanyonRider · 25/05/2026 18:20

I live in a small town. I started having therapy maybe a year ago. I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist. However I realised today that she is (very very recently) married to a man who recently stood and won as a reform councillor in our local election. I detest reform. I’m married to an immigrant (EU citizen) and am delighted that my kids are dual nationals and have the option of travelling, working and living in the EU should they desire. I’m also very pro the transition to green energy. I have solar and drive an EV. Finally I cannot stand Farage and the political grift embodied by people like him and Jenrick and am dismayed by the harms caused by Brexit.

My therapist is also an EU national and is here under indefinite leave to remain - as is my wife.
Read a few interviews with her husband today and he spouts the usual anti EU, anti immigration, anti green transition rhetoric you’d expect from Reform. I don’t feel comfortable continuing therapy with someone who’s married to a reform politician, and am very surprised that she is comfortable with his views and by extension those of Farage.

Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Bikenutz · 26/05/2026 17:58

LuckyHazelFox · 26/05/2026 14:26

Why do they have to "tackle" bias and discrimination? You mean they have to treat all their clients equally. This is getting even more bizarre.

You might want to have a look at the BACP code of conduct, it sets this out really clearly.

Most people who come to counselling have been through some kind of trauma or significant difficulty, which can include experiences of discrimination. Reaching out for support takes a huge amount of courage, so it’s really important that the professional body ensures its members are equipped to honour that. Counsellors need to create a genuinely safe, respectful space for anyone who comes to them, especially when someone is feeling vulnerable. That also means offering a fair and inclusive service to people from all parts of society.

Being a counsellor also involves a strong commitment to self-awareness. It’s not a one-off thing - you need to keep reflecting on your own beliefs, values, and potential biases, and actively work on them. Supervision plays a big part in this too, both in supporting your own practice and in helping strengthen the wider counselling community.

It isn’t at all unreasonable for the OP to ask her counsellor about this.

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 26/05/2026 17:51

5128gap · 26/05/2026 11:38

It makes perfect sense. What doesn't make sense is why as a person who purports not to support Reform you started a thread to discredit Andy Burnham in the stated hope it would make people in Makerfield not vote for him.
Every person in Makerfield who doesn't vote Burnham (or Shepherd if right leaning) is contributing to a Reform win.
What also doesn't make sense is why you took such a strong stance about Burnhams remarks, yet are pretty much silent about Kenyon's, while framing yourself as the neutral voice of reason, seeking only to raise the quality of debate and protect women's rights.

I never said I wanted Labour to win. Either the Makerfield election or the next GE.

My reason for puncturing Burnham is his misogynistic, sexist comments that devalued women as a sex class because he was trying to "be kind" (get votes). Any politician doing that is the subject of my ire.

I have said here a thousand times, I am a single issue voter, it's this issue, transgender ideologies intersection with women's rights, nothing more, nothing less.

I just had to google Kenyon's first name, I had no clue, and unless I missed it above, nobody linked to anything either.

aliceinawonderland · 26/05/2026 17:31

Feis123 · 26/05/2026 10:59

Oh, they are politically left-leaning alright - they live in a fantastic, unreal world, their own world, not available to us - take GPs, for instance - they are private partnerships when it comes to profits and work, yet they are paid by the taxpayer. So they can decide on their working hours, salaries, profits (which are increased by not sending patients to specialist consultants, thus conserving the money pot for themselves) - they operate like private businesses. Yet they are totally free of the pressures of private business - don't have to find clients, don't have to worry about how clients will pay, don't have to work, like dogs, with insurance companies, etc. because the state, taxpayer, will find them clients and will pay for each and every client. Why not be left-leaning? Oh, yes, and the state first educates them for free (please don't tell me about home tuition fees - those pathetic fees don't cover anything, it is foreign students who pay real tuition fees) trains them for free to become a consultant. Oh, wait, not for free - the state PAYS them to train to become a consultant. And then consultants are able to work at the same time on the NHS and privately - conflict of interest, much? And create queues on the NHS by doing the bit (in the same speciality!!!!) on the side.

Of course they are left-leaning - they live in a made-up world!

I get the sense that you are glad you got that one off your chest 🤣

Clavinova · 26/05/2026 17:29

Allisnotlost1 · 26/05/2026 17:03

For the same reason, I don’t know. And I’m not sure why it matters. Why is it important to you?

I think it probably does matter if 5/6 Jewish and ethnic minority former pupils have complained about him and 3/4 have defended him.

Clavinova · 26/05/2026 17:23

Dexternight · 26/05/2026 06:08

Yes, you can detect racist tradesmen or businesses and those who would vote Reform.
Yes, I would encourage all to avoid.
Far right views can appear everywhere.
Avoid them all.
Ps Not all other non British builders are Polish.
Also, not all Polish builders are racist.
Racist to assume that.
But then...
Trust u will recognise the reform/ far right racists tradespeople or businesses.
We want our country back and all that.
Too many of them here bla bla.
Avoid giving them your money. Ever.
Let their toothless fanclub hire them if they can afford to.

Also, not all Polish builders are racist

Indeed - Tomas the Polish builder told the Guardian that 'most Polish people don't like Indians and black people.'

The other Guardian article reported;
According to a study in 2013 by the Centre for Research on Prejudice – a professional academic centre at the University of Warsaw – as many as 69% of Poles do not want non-white people living in their country.

I am still somewhat bemused why Guardian readers were so keen on freedom of movement with countries such as Poland.

I see that Poland has refused to take any quota of asylum seekers from the EU's new scheme, and that Poland's biggest trade union organised a march last week protesting the EU's green policies. The op's worst nightmare.

Freud2 · 26/05/2026 17:14

bafta16 · 26/05/2026 14:01

Party wise, they hate brown people. They wheel out a few misguided token people.

You're the one that's misguided.

Freud2 · 26/05/2026 17:13

Dexternight · 26/05/2026 14:29

Bet they would cancel you if they knew.
Trust

Don't attribute others with your predjuces. Most people allow others to have a different point of view. I'm always happy to debate politics and wouldn't never just dismiss people with an opposing view.

Gofnfnf · 26/05/2026 17:06

CaptainMyCaptain · 26/05/2026 16:25

In that case why aren't there ex school mates and teachers rushing to defend him?

Edited

Some people did actually go defend him.

Rev Neil Fairlamb, a former Dulwich teacher, also gave a broadly defensive account. The Guardian reported that he “agrees” with Emms’s view, said he did not see racism in Farage.

Allisnotlost1 · 26/05/2026 17:03

Clavinova · 26/05/2026 16:57

ETA I don’t know how many are named

How many of the complainants are Jewish or ethnic minority?

For the same reason, I don’t know. And I’m not sure why it matters. Why is it important to you?

Allisnotlost1 · 26/05/2026 17:01

Clavinova · 26/05/2026 16:54

Sky analysed the same data

To be fair - your link says Sky analysed two sets of data;

Using the census figures, we get 9.0 sexual offences per 10,000 Afghans, and 2.9 per 10,000 Britons. The Afghan figure is three times higher.

Using the APS figures, we get 59.2 offences per 10,000 Afghans, and 2.7 per 10,000 Britons. That's where Mr Farage's higher figure of 22 times higher comes from.

Thanks, you’re right - I read one story and linked the later one.

Which tells you that is not cut and dried
snd therefore not a claim that should be loudly made without more analysts. The ONS (ETA Census) data is the more reliable (bigger data set, better quality control). But of course Farage isn’t in the business of accuracy.

Clavinova · 26/05/2026 16:57

Allisnotlost1 · 26/05/2026 16:51

I wouldn’t assume any of them are lying to be honest. It’s entirely possible for someone to be racist towards some people and not to others of the same group. A bit like all those racists who ‘have black friends’ right? The respectable immigrant, the one who knows their place, they have a better chance if survival/success, depending on context. It was ever thus, from colonialism to camps to capitalism.

ETA I don’t know how many are named, or why that’s important. Must a complainant always put themselves in the public eye to be taken seriously?

Edited

ETA I don’t know how many are named

How many of the complainants are Jewish or ethnic minority?

Allisnotlost1 · 26/05/2026 16:56

Gofnfnf · 26/05/2026 16:41

His is one the the reason's the BNP collapsed. Again teenage boys say stupid things. This was 50 years ago and completely unsubstantiated

He's praised Indian Hindu immigrants to the UK. He wants control of the immigration so we choose who we let in.

Yes, racist teenage boys say racist things, and ignorant and indulgent people let them and say ‘it was ages ago’ when it comes up in adulthood.

You understand that being, say, pro Hindu doesn’t inoculate someone against being, say, anti-Semitic, don’t you? You know what divide and rule is?

Clavinova · 26/05/2026 16:54

Allisnotlost1 · 26/05/2026 14:35

Even Farage didn’t claim that. He said the data showed Afghan nationals were convicted at 22 times the rate of British nationals.

Sky analysed the same data and found it’s more like 3-4 times. Which sounds shocking until you remember that most dales and sexual assaults are committed by perpetrators known to the victim and a vast number go unreported for that reason. Who is more likely to be reported? A stranger. Who is more likely to be convicted? A stranger.

And this is why people are suspicious of Farage and his acolytes. He lies, making an already worrying thing worse and without context, and they parrot. I can see what he has to gain 💰 but those who spread his lies?

https://news.sky.com/story/fact-checking-farage-are-foreigners-more-likely-than-britons-to-commit-sexual-offences-13407029

BTW Bit odd to claim the government tried to hide it when the data was released under a government scheme - FOI - which allows them to prevent release on several grounds.

Sky analysed the same data

To be fair - your link says Sky analysed two sets of data;

Using the census figures, we get 9.0 sexual offences per 10,000 Afghans, and 2.9 per 10,000 Britons. The Afghan figure is three times higher.

Using the APS figures, we get 59.2 offences per 10,000 Afghans, and 2.7 per 10,000 Britons. That's where Mr Farage's higher figure of 22 times higher comes from.

Allisnotlost1 · 26/05/2026 16:51

Clavinova · 26/05/2026 16:46

To be fair - several Jewish and ethnic minority former pupils have also come forward to say that Farage was not racist or antisemitic. Are they lying?

Farage is alleged - by about 30 separate former pupils

How many of the 30 are named and how many are Jewish or ethnic minority?

I wouldn’t assume any of them are lying to be honest. It’s entirely possible for someone to be racist towards some people and not to others of the same group. A bit like all those racists who ‘have black friends’ right? The respectable immigrant, the one who knows their place, they have a better chance if survival/success, depending on context. It was ever thus, from colonialism to camps to capitalism.

ETA I don’t know how many are named, or why that’s important. Must a complainant always put themselves in the public eye to be taken seriously?

Clavinova · 26/05/2026 16:46

Allisnotlost1 · 26/05/2026 16:08

Just racial banter isn’t it? Not a big deal at all. Those black and brown and Jewish people are probably lying anyway, they just want to see him fail. Tall poppy syndrome isn’t it? Some people just don’t like someone doing well for himself do they.

Just banter:

At school. Farage is alleged - by about 30 separate former pupils - to have:

  • Said things like “Gas them” or “Hitler was right” (alleged by one former pupil)
  • Used racial slurs toward non-white pupils (specific words vary by account and are disputed in detail in reporting)
  • Told fellow pupils of minority or overseas backgrounds to “go back home”
  • He himself admitted saying “ridiculous things” but disputed they were racist
  • Then a bit later said his comments were not “with intent” and framed them as teenage “banter” (a bit like you have)
  • As an adult and politician he’s consistently linked immigrants and all kinds of negativity (not his wife, or his girlfriend, or his latest girlfriend though)
  • he’s shared platforms with known racists and used words and imagery associated with the far right
  • His party (remember, a limited company not a democratic organisation ) have repeatedly selected candidates who are known to have made racist and anti semitic statements, to have been members or associates of the BNP, EDL or NF
  • he repeatedly shrugs this off as ‘in the past’ (teenage banter, perhaps)

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but his behaviour seems pretty consistently racist if you ask me. He’s certainly comfortable in the company of some very unsavoury men.

To be fair - several Jewish and ethnic minority former pupils have also come forward to say that Farage was not racist or antisemitic. Are they lying?

Farage is alleged - by about 30 separate former pupils

How many of the 30 are named and how many are Jewish or ethnic minority?

Gofnfnf · 26/05/2026 16:41

Allisnotlost1 · 26/05/2026 16:08

Just racial banter isn’t it? Not a big deal at all. Those black and brown and Jewish people are probably lying anyway, they just want to see him fail. Tall poppy syndrome isn’t it? Some people just don’t like someone doing well for himself do they.

Just banter:

At school. Farage is alleged - by about 30 separate former pupils - to have:

  • Said things like “Gas them” or “Hitler was right” (alleged by one former pupil)
  • Used racial slurs toward non-white pupils (specific words vary by account and are disputed in detail in reporting)
  • Told fellow pupils of minority or overseas backgrounds to “go back home”
  • He himself admitted saying “ridiculous things” but disputed they were racist
  • Then a bit later said his comments were not “with intent” and framed them as teenage “banter” (a bit like you have)
  • As an adult and politician he’s consistently linked immigrants and all kinds of negativity (not his wife, or his girlfriend, or his latest girlfriend though)
  • he’s shared platforms with known racists and used words and imagery associated with the far right
  • His party (remember, a limited company not a democratic organisation ) have repeatedly selected candidates who are known to have made racist and anti semitic statements, to have been members or associates of the BNP, EDL or NF
  • he repeatedly shrugs this off as ‘in the past’ (teenage banter, perhaps)

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but his behaviour seems pretty consistently racist if you ask me. He’s certainly comfortable in the company of some very unsavoury men.

His is one the the reason's the BNP collapsed. Again teenage boys say stupid things. This was 50 years ago and completely unsubstantiated

He's praised Indian Hindu immigrants to the UK. He wants control of the immigration so we choose who we let in.

LuckyHazelFox · 26/05/2026 16:33

Gofnfnf · 26/05/2026 15:19

A friend of my DC told me his gf and his gf's sister get regularly hissed at by the asylum seekers who were moved into the area.

It doesn't surprise me but the virtue signallers on here will say Jack shit.

LeaderBee · 26/05/2026 16:28

"I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist"

Yes, of course you are overreacting. 😂

bafta16 · 26/05/2026 16:26

Gofnfnf · 26/05/2026 15:19

A friend of my DC told me his gf and his gf's sister get regularly hissed at by the asylum seekers who were moved into the area.

Unfortunately that may be true. It's absolutely horrible. Some people behave badly.

How we jump from that to supporting Faridge and flag shaggers is the problem.

CaptainMyCaptain · 26/05/2026 16:25

Gofnfnf · 26/05/2026 16:21

They'd lie because he's a big political figure and they'd know it'd hurt him

In that case why aren't there ex school mates and teachers rushing to defend him?

Gofnfnf · 26/05/2026 16:21

OneStarAwake · 26/05/2026 15:57

Are you saying that the Jewish people accusing him of being anti-semitic as a teenager are lying? Why would they do that? Why would the students from black and ethnic minority backgrounds also lie about his racism? Why would his ex-teachers?

Edited

They'd lie because he's a big political figure and they'd know it'd hurt him

Gofnfnf · 26/05/2026 16:10

Dexternight · 26/05/2026 15:25

My friend’s sister’s neighbour’s brother-in-law’s cousin, twice removed, said he saw asylum seekers being booked into The Ritz for afternoon tea.

Again. My DC's friend told him directly what his girlfriend has to experience.

Allisnotlost1 · 26/05/2026 16:08

Gofnfnf · 26/05/2026 15:51

Unfounded and unsubstantiated claims from 50 years ago.

Just racial banter isn’t it? Not a big deal at all. Those black and brown and Jewish people are probably lying anyway, they just want to see him fail. Tall poppy syndrome isn’t it? Some people just don’t like someone doing well for himself do they.

Just banter:

At school. Farage is alleged - by about 30 separate former pupils - to have:

  • Said things like “Gas them” or “Hitler was right” (alleged by one former pupil)
  • Used racial slurs toward non-white pupils (specific words vary by account and are disputed in detail in reporting)
  • Told fellow pupils of minority or overseas backgrounds to “go back home”
  • He himself admitted saying “ridiculous things” but disputed they were racist
  • Then a bit later said his comments were not “with intent” and framed them as teenage “banter” (a bit like you have)
  • As an adult and politician he’s consistently linked immigrants and all kinds of negativity (not his wife, or his girlfriend, or his latest girlfriend though)
  • he’s shared platforms with known racists and used words and imagery associated with the far right
  • His party (remember, a limited company not a democratic organisation ) have repeatedly selected candidates who are known to have made racist and anti semitic statements, to have been members or associates of the BNP, EDL or NF
  • he repeatedly shrugs this off as ‘in the past’ (teenage banter, perhaps)

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but his behaviour seems pretty consistently racist if you ask me. He’s certainly comfortable in the company of some very unsavoury men.

OneStarAwake · 26/05/2026 15:57

Gofnfnf · 26/05/2026 15:51

Unfounded and unsubstantiated claims from 50 years ago.

Are you saying that the Jewish people accusing him of being anti-semitic as a teenager are lying? Why would they do that? Why would the students from black and ethnic minority backgrounds also lie about his racism? Why would his ex-teachers?

Gofnfnf · 26/05/2026 15:51

Dexternight · 26/05/2026 14:26

Only Hindus?
What about the Sikhs,Muslims and atheist brown people?
Don't they have educational drive and work hard?
Wait didn't Farage like making gas hissing noise to jews and
he subjected black and ethnic minority students to racist abuse, including telling them to "go back to Africa" or "go back home.

If that isn't HATING brown people kindly explain what is?

Edited

Unfounded and unsubstantiated claims from 50 years ago.