AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

Wow.

Yes, I think you are overreacting.

Your therapist is not her husband. The relevant question is whether she is professional, boundaried, competent, ethical, and helping you. If the therapy has been working for a year and you liked her yesterday, it seems a bit extreme to suddenly decide she is unsuitable because of political views you are assuming she shares by marriage.

Also, the EV and solar panels stuff feels irrelevant. This is therapy, not a hustings. People can disagree about net zero, immigration, Brexit, the EU, or Farage without being personally unsafe, immoral, or incapable of doing their job.

I also think there is a lot of assumption here. Reform’s position is not simply “we hate immigrants”. Whether people agree with them or not, there is an obvious distinction between legal migration, illegal migration, settlement rules, asylum, deportations, EU membership, and net zero policy. Lumping all of that together as “she married a Reform man, therefore I can’t sit in a room with her” is not exactly nuanced.

What happened to tolerating people who do not share every political view? What happened to grey areas? If she has said or done something in therapy that makes you feel judged or unsafe, that is different. But if the therapy itself has been good, I would judge her on the therapy she provides, not on a political identity you have projected onto her via her husband.

At rhe end of the day you have to feel comfortable and trust your therapist. If you feel this information compromises that for you then it isn't unreasonable to not see them anymore. No matter if people agree or disagree. It is a personal relationship that you at the end of the day need to feel really comfortable with.

I would feel exactly the same way. And quite frankly the normalising of the far right is terrifying (as evidenced by this thread). I would find an alternative therapist.

He may come across kind to people who fit within his circle, but Reform-style politics is still rooted in division and “in-group/out-group” thinking.
That’s not compassion, it’s selective kindness shaped by who you decide belongs.
Avoid this therapist @CanyonRider .
You will need therapy to get over it.

I would absolutely not work with anyone, particularly in a very vulnerable position (as you are when you're in therapy) with someone who supports a neo-nazi organisation.

It would be different if you were an employee of an organisation and had no choice about who you worked with (I've been in this position). You'd just remain polite and professional. But in this situation, you're opening yourself up to someone with a hostile belief system.

You couldn't torture this out of me.

Exactly.

I would question the judgement and common sense of someone who chooses a partner with xenophobic and racist views who can see through the bullshit of a grifter like Farage, so I could never trust them as a therapist.

You can just end your therapy and find a more suitable counsellor OP. You don't have to give her specific reasons.

It's about trust and values.

If you find out that someone has knowingly decided to attach themselves to someone with morally repugnant views, then you're obviously going to question their own character and you may start to doubt whether or not you can trust them.

You cannot agree with reform’s policies and be emotionally intelligent or kind.

How can kindness and intelligence simply be switched off at will? That makes no sense.

You're right that the world isn't black and white. But people's political views cannot simply be divorced from their character and core values.

Political views and especially those that are very divisive and nationalistic impart to every aspect of thinking. It is not possible to separate out a fact that someone votes for Farage or Trump from other things about them.
As it troubles you then I would find someone else. You are sharing detail and information about yourself. You cannot do that with someone who you now no longer respect.

This sums it up. How can you ever value her guidance!

You can’t call someone deeply kind and emotionally intelligent while they support politics built on division and scapegoating. Sooner or later, what you vote for says more about your character than your fake front.

Lol! What had her husbands political leanings got to do with your therapy?!

Reform is a haven for people who have committed crimes. Have a look at their newly elected batch of councillors ( those that are left) - are they honest, genuine, law abiding, well intentioned people?
As a party they consistently lie, promote nonsense politics, and fuel hate and division .I have no issue with any other political party but this is not about political differences. This is about a moral line in the sand.

There are nearly seventeen thousand councillors in England.

data from here.

https://lgiu.org/resources/local-government-facts-and-figures/local-government-facts-and-figures-england/

at various points in my marriage my then husband and I stood for election to local councils for different parties.

you really really shouldn’t assume she shares his politics.

in addition, being on a local council is in all honesty a badly paid job that if you do it properly takes a lot of time.

I’ve sat on small councils (live rurally and most villages have a parish council just for the village) and honestly it’s a lot of work.

@fatandfrumpy20im not sure I agree with you there. Probably because I know him personally but I don’t know a kinder more intelligent man. Definitely don’t agree with his politics but he doesn’t stop helping others and has a very profound way of looking at the world. I defo see how you might think this way though but the world isn’t black and white

A therapist role is to support you and be non judgemental and independent. So if you have just found out something so fundamental it sounds like this person is good at what they do and it doesn’t impact on your support. So why change?

Yes, and it's something you might bring to therapy.

MN is very pro Reform so you won’t get a sensible answer here

There are some things which shouldn't be tolerated imo. Being an active member of Reform is morally reprehensible from my perspective, and not something that I can just write off as a simple difference of opinion. You are, of course, entitled to hold a different view, but for me, this crosses a line.

Perhaps it's something to discuss... in therapy..

Yep how can you receive advice from anyone as deranged as to marry a Reform voter.

Why would anyone marry someone with those views.

Quite apart from anything else...