AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

You're going to be very lonely.

Absolutely. How far does the purity spiral need to go exactly?

Exactly, with the far right surging in France and Germany we should definitely avoid rejoining the EU. Shudder.

Thats the most intellectually vapid response I have ever received which is saying something.

You're projecting.

This is a disgusting woke trend (not the OP's views - she is fine to hate Reform and promote Green agenda, no problem at all) to conflate somebody's professionalism with their worthiness based on their political affiliation. Bonkers. My grandparents were working class and slightly to the left of Mao - but oh, boy, when they went for operations (performed by the filthy rich surgeons, whose mouths were stuffed with gold by Bevan) not only did they keep their mouths firmly shut, but they suddenly became apolitical, and the surgeons accents did not irk them so much, etc. etc.

All the way.

I voted YANBU. I too find Reform very distasteful and I think if I had a therapist and found out they were married to a Reform politician would put me right off.

I think if you do terminate the relationship with your therapist, OP, you should let them know your reason.

YANBU, I think it makes perfect sense to have a therapist that is somewhat aligned with you.

Same reason you wouldn’t want a very religious therapist if you’re an atheist. Your perspectives and approaches will probably be very different.

(Obviously it doesn’t mean your therapist shares the views of her husband, but…)

As we can see, the far left, if they ever got into power, would be every bit as bad, if not worse, than any allegedly ‘far right’ government.

Exactly this.

YANBU - the relationship with a therapist is all about trust and respect. I could not trust or respect anyone married to any Reform advocate. And I would not want my money going into their bank account. Find another counselor and be honest about your reason for the change.

🥱
Sugar coat it all you want.

We know what they stand for.

I think if you feel uncomfortable- it’s the end of the road. It doesn’t matter what others will do or how they will react it’s very personal.
I think being a politician is very different to just voting for a certain party. Being a politician means much more stronger alignment with values and principles. Being a politician’s partner (especially a recent one) also means acceptance certain values.
When you don’t know - you don’t know but once it’s became known to you - you can’t un-known it.

added: however I’m not sure about citing this as a reason for therapist.

That's rubbish. Why is someone wanting stronger borders to keep us safe racist. In any case politics shouldn't come into it - it's about feeling a connectionand feeling safe with the therapist.

This OP has got it all, green energy, EV, EU, etc, etc

How far do you need to go? Partner? Partners parents? Parters parents vet? Partners parents vets hypnotherapist?

But OP has had the privilege to find out.
So run for the hills OP.

"I'm also much better than other people because I have an EV and solar panels, I think all the right thoughts and never look outside this fixed box"

Feeling comfortable with your therapist is essential. If this is going to create a barrier, whether it's reasonable or not, then you should look for someone else.

But one which no association to reform.

Otherwise you will be in therapy for years.

That comment was abhorrent. No argument there. It has no place in a democratic society.

But you are mixing up “a horrible thing said by someone associated with Reform” with “Reform policy”. Those are not the same thing.

There is nothing in Reform’s actual policies that amounts to racial supremacy. Lower immigration, stronger borders, staying out the EU, or opposing net zero are not racial supremacy. You can dislike those policies, but inventing worse ones is not an argument.

And where is the evidence that Reform policies are causing more hate crimes? Not “I feel they are” or “I dislike them”, actual evidence.

Nobody is asking you to ignore vile comments. But if you want to criticise Reform, criticise what they actually say

Tricky one - they may not have the same views. That said, EU friend’s husband voted for Brexit and in the end it broke the marriage. She felt very betrayed. John Bercow was a Tory MP while his journalist wife was a vocal Labour supporter so it doesn’t necessarily mean she shares or cares for his views - many people just don’t care about politics. Maybe he hasn’t a clue what it means to be a an elected member of Reform - on current evidence it looks like quite a few were pressganged into standing for election after sitting in the same spot in Wetherspoons for too long 😂 If she’s good for you, continue. If not, stop. I think it changes trust and affiliation when you find out people might not share your values, and I can see why you’d not want to spend money that goes to supporting a household with values so at odds with your own.

I actually agree with you.

If your husband had recently been elected as a councillor though your clients might be more aware.

@CanyonRider It’s a relationship of trust and if you don’t feel confident for any reason I think it’s right to find a new therapist, so you can get the most from the interaction.

Oh op, this is awful. So judgemental, so unpleasant. If she is a good therapist that is all that counts. I would suggest though that perhaps she isn't if this level of overthinking is representative.