AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

yanbu op. I go to my therapists house and there's a lot of openness both ways. once trust is gone it's gone. I can't imagine being married to someone and holding opposite views to them. Sure some do but I wouldn't want them as a therapist!

Also if you stand for a party as a councillor it's a bit beyond voting for them, which would still be a line for me. If they're all so mad about being called racist maybe they should stop standing candidates who are racist and islamophobic and having a leader who is well known for being a racist? 🤔

I really can't be arsed with this nonsense. It's just gaslighting, a bit like the abusive man who hits his wife and then claims that she made him do it.

I'm not willing to pretend that racist, far right views are morally acceptable simply to spare the feelings of people who might be planning to vote for far right racist parties.

No sane person would throw away their basic humanity and morality to vote for a far right racist party simply because other people happen to say that the same far right racist party is dreadful or that its supporters are morally reprehensible. They vote for far right racist parties because they find the far right racist rhetoric appealing.

People need to own their choices and be accountable for their votes. If we end up with a far right racist party that trashes this country beyond recognition, then the racist fuckwits who elected them will only have themselves to blame.

I find it interesting as well you said your therapist was an eu national too. She most likely thinks her husband is a bit of a hypocrite or anchor if he spouts those anti immigration policies.

No, YANBU. This isn’t even about politics. The relationship between therapist and client is the biggest predictor of successful therapy, if you knowing this about her husband impacts the relationship you have with her, then it is the right thing to do to find someone else.

I would, yes.

A standard repost to racists is " you hate blacks, Indians, Pakistanis but what if your life required a surgeon, nurse etc who was (insert race) ? They always say "ah that's different "
Your suggestion is worse - it's not even the person your dealing with who is not to your prejudice, but their spouse.
It the therapy for bigotry?

Im in a very pro person employment similar to your therapist and consider myself to be very person centred so dislike reform immensely. However my husband would vote for them in an election tomorrow and not necessarily for their immigration policies but because he thinks something drastic has to happen for things to get better. Do I agree? Nope. Is he entitled to his own political opinion - yes 100%. Does his political views impact my job role? Nope I don’t give it a second thought. Actually probably makes me less judgemental as I know someone’s politics or beliefs don’t necessarily make them a good/bad person as it’s just part of them.

I'm not at all advocating the OP stays with a therapist they are uncomfortable with. I am questioning the guilt by association, the assumptions, not to mention the built in virtue signalling of having solar panels. I am also seriously questioning their ability to deal with a challenging world where people have a wide variety of opinions and we all have to muddle along in some way.

Do what you think is best but stop trying to be a martyr.

I voted YANBU because I can imagine feeling the same. However if you feel she is a good therapist and the sessions are working for you, maybe you could try to overcome your feelings since her politics (or her DH's) probably don't influence her work directly?

Oh, the irony of the Poles voting this way. But, as they say 'it is always the newcomers/last ones in who pull up the ladder'. Btw, border control is vital, not racist. And multiculturalism is only a strength when you have an Empire - like Britain used to be or like the USSR was.

How far do you need to go? Partner? Partners parents? Parters parents vet? Partners parents vets hypnotherapist?

Quite. This reminds me of people who ended up being heavily criticised in the press because they were once in same room as Jeffrey Epstein. Where do you draw the line? Should Jeffrey Epstein’s dog groomer be investigated? Noting, before there’s a pile- on, that JE had committed offences, but the point I’m making is about people who associate with those you don’t like or agree with

I hope Reform voters get to see their 💩 show in action by winning.
Feel the consequences.

It’s not about being better or worse though, therapy is a vulnerable situation in which you need to feel comfortable. If OP doesn’t in light of this new information, that’s it really.

I’ve been in counselling before through a Christian org not being religious myself so I was paired with the relevant counsellor. If I had been paired with a Christian counsellor it would quite frankly have been disastrous for a number of reasons. OP’s situation isn’t that much different, her therapists views can’t be that far from the man she’s married to and who had a very public profile.

I am judging them by what they say, and it is indefensible.

Further, https://www.cps.gov.uk/cps/news/highest-level-hate-crime-recorded I'm sure we are not far off having clearly documented links between the constant racist language as well as the weaponising and stirring of hatred by Nigel Farage and his party against immigrants that is driving hate crimes.
There are also countless accounts by people from a range of ethnic minorities saying how much hate and casual racism they are now experiencing. Stop trying to white wash what is clearly a far-right group.

It’s very hard to ignore this info now you have it. I’d feel absolutely the same. This is why most therapists don’t go in for self-disclosure, but you came across the info incidentally. It’s a shame but I’d totally see her in a different light too and hard to un-see it now you know!

Reform are odds on favourite to win the next general election.
MN will go into meltdown.
Therapists will be milking it in.

Yes and if the OP was getting therapy from the Reform councillor that might apply but she is not, this is guilt by association I thought people were better than that.

OP, I think you’ve had too much sun

Agreed. If you no longer feel you can trust your therapist you have the right to look elsewhere. I think I'd want to tell her why though.

You can tolerate people who don’t share your political views, core beliefs etc without wanting to keep putting money in their pockets.

Good

Do you mean - go all the way or you agree all the way?