Page 24 | AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

Thechaseison71 · 25/05/2026 20:48

Runningswanker · 25/05/2026 18:26

Therapy requires you to be vulnerable, and to trust (unlike buying something in a shop as a pp mentioned) My ability to trust a therapist would be affected by someone who stood with Reform. It's a racist party, no matter what way you look at it.

But no one has said the therapist has any affinity with Reform.

My partner and I are on total opposite sides politically. ( Neither reform btw)

Why would someone not work with me due to his political views.

AguNwaanyi · 25/05/2026 20:48

SandwichSuperstar · 25/05/2026 18:31

Yes, silly little fluffy headed women simply must agree with their husband's politics.

No minds of our own at all.

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Yes actually. Because I know mumsnet likes to be simple about these things but who you choose to partner with is absolutely political or at least says a lot about your own politics. This idea that actual anti-xenophobia and pro-environment women are marrying Reform candidates is ridiculous. At best, she doesn't engage with political values so doesn't care, but standing for nothing means you will fall for anything.

SparklyOliveSwan · 25/05/2026 20:46

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 25/05/2026 20:30

Being a feminist is not compatible with the mens rights movement of trans ideology.

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Care to elaborate.... Maybe some statistics. But I forget, you people don't get them, you go off raw feelings. I'm calling it: "You're a troll/bot"

NoisyHiker · 25/05/2026 20:45

I can see why you are in therapy.

andnowwhatdowedo · 25/05/2026 20:45

Meadowfinch · 25/05/2026 20:10

I'm not pro-reform and will vote tactically to keep them out, but shunning people does not bring a country to a more united centrist view.

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Yes, something to discuss in therapy - who do you shun and why.

Gofnfnf · 25/05/2026 20:41

I thought the therapist was reform but no it's their husband. Oh dear.

I'm a Tory member and have reform friends.

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 25/05/2026 20:40

Clavinova · 25/05/2026 20:39

Have you seen Zack Polanski's smile?

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.

AguNwaanyi · 25/05/2026 20:40

Misnofitness · 25/05/2026 18:23

This has to be the ultimate Mumsnet pearl clutch

clearly you don’t believe women are capable of having their own opinions

Allow it.
Therapists don't live in a vacuum. Their personal politics absolutely shape the direction they take to their practice, even if they don't directly state them in sessions. They can only be so impartial. This isn't about not believing women can have separate opinions but recognising the reality of the game. Although, it's interesting that some of you are presuming that she has no affinity with what reform stands for despite her partnering choices.

Clavinova · 25/05/2026 20:39

Dexternight · 25/05/2026 20:20

At least they have their own teeth.

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Have you seen Zack Polanski's smile?

Gofnfnf · 25/05/2026 20:38

If they reason their argument with logic, arguments, some data then they are allowed their opinion. Everyone wants to be pro green, have people actually looked at the energy prices we face?

EasternStandard · 25/05/2026 20:36

TheFluffyTwo · 25/05/2026 20:33

You can do whatever you want.

It seems a shame to lose a relationship or service that's been helping you, but if finding out this piece of information about her husband has prejudiced you so much against your therapist that you no longer think it will be useful, then you're completely within your rights to stop using her services.

Why do you feel the need to ask of other people think you're overreacting? What difference does it make if they agree or disagree with you?

Yep anyone can end therapy, why would an mn thread convince someone not to end it.

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 25/05/2026 20:35

Clavinova · 25/05/2026 20:32

OK, you posted;

Hopefully it ends in people with far right racist views being ostracised and losing trade

So, you wouldn't purchase Italian goods sold in the UK at the moment?

If the French vote for a far-right government, you would avoid purchasing French goods sold in the UK?

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Not to mention China - which - let's not forget ....

Is a authoritarian dictatorship actively practicing genocide and ethnic cleansing on a level that would make all previous figures blush, no voting, thought crime, violent crack downs of any dissent.....

Far, FAR worse than any Reform policy.

AguNwaanyi · 25/05/2026 20:35

YANBU and please don't pay attention to usual spineless lot on here who don't actually hold to any politics. A very recent marriage says a lot about her values too, and given the nature of a therapist relationship this is absolutely something that should be considered. I know it's hard to break away from a great therapist but I would consider finding someone else.

Gofnfnf · 25/05/2026 20:34

Both sides have valid arguments. I can respect the other side whilst having my own opinion. We have the highest energy prices in Europe.

TheFluffyTwo · 25/05/2026 20:33

You can do whatever you want.

It seems a shame to lose a relationship or service that's been helping you, but if finding out this piece of information about her husband has prejudiced you so much against your therapist that you no longer think it will be useful, then you're completely within your rights to stop using her services.

Why do you feel the need to ask of other people think you're overreacting? What difference does it make if they agree or disagree with you?

Trinity65 · 25/05/2026 20:33

FFS.

Clavinova · 25/05/2026 20:32

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 25/05/2026 20:24

I'm not going to tell other people where to go on holiday, but personally, I would certainly think twice before spending my money in certain regimes.

I'm far more concerned about what is happening in the UK though, and I wouldn't knowingly or willingly purchase goods or services from anyone who was actively supporting or promoting the far right. I can't control their views or their behaviour, but I can at least control how I spend my own money.

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OK, you posted;

Hopefully it ends in people with far right racist views being ostracised and losing trade

So, you wouldn't purchase Italian goods sold in the UK at the moment?

If the French vote for a far-right government, you would avoid purchasing French goods sold in the UK?

AguNwaanyi · 25/05/2026 20:32

DriveVerySlowlyPastNumber23IWantThemToSeeMyHat · 25/05/2026 18:23

YABU. Would you request another cashier at a shop if their partner voted Reform?

Maybe you have an intimate relationship that revolves around sharing your innermost thoughts and leaning on the for guidance, but the average person does not. You are comparing chalk to cheese.

KatiePricesKnickers · 25/05/2026 20:30

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 25/05/2026 20:13

You can't unite ordinary decent people with people who have been radicalised to the far right. Pretending that their repugnant views are valid or socially acceptable merely helps to normalise them.

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Exactly same applies to the far left, whose position is currently being filled by the Greens.

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 25/05/2026 20:30

SparklyOliveSwan · 25/05/2026 20:29

Oh here we go with the transphobia! You are aware of the definition of feminism, are you?

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Being a feminist is not compatible with the mens rights movement of trans ideology.

TheFairyCaravan · 25/05/2026 20:30

Seaitoverthere · 25/05/2026 20:25

I’d switch therapists personally. I make a mental note of vocal Reform supporters on our local Facebook page and when I need work doing on house etc I won’t use anyone who is.

I figure there are Reform voters who will actively prefer to use them so it all evens out in the end but I’m not giving any money to them and I would feel the same with your therapist even if she has different views to her DH.

Can’t see how people think you are unreasonable to use your freedom of choice.

I do exactly the same.

Theyreeatingthedogs · 25/05/2026 20:30

DriveVerySlowlyPastNumber23IWantThemToSeeMyHat · 25/05/2026 18:23

YABU. Would you request another cashier at a shop if their partner voted Reform?

Really???? You compare a therapist to a cashier? Unbelievable!

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 25/05/2026 20:29

Dexternight · 25/05/2026 20:28

I don't trust reform research.
Always were in bottom sets.

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it's not Reform research. We don't do it here, so people do it somewhere else then we ship it here on dirty dirty ships.

Carbon goes up
costs go up

nobody benefits

SparklyOliveSwan · 25/05/2026 20:29

Meadowfinch · 25/05/2026 18:31

You've known, and liked this lady for a year. She is good for you, but you plan to cut the relationship because you dislike her husband's politics.😳

I think you are very intolerant and you'll end up with very few friends
My niece married a Trump supporter. Two of my sisters have husbands who bore me senseless, one of my work colleagues holds strong pro-trans (anti-feminist) views.

These are people I love, or at least like. I am capable of separating their many good points from their one opinion/husband that I dislike.

They are entitled.to those choices/opinions. As long as they don't try to inflict those views on you, there should be no problem. Or do you see yourself as the thought police?

Edited

Oh here we go with the transphobia! You are aware of the definition of feminism, are you?

Contrarymary30 · 25/05/2026 20:28

CanyonRider · 25/05/2026 18:20

I live in a small town. I started having therapy maybe a year ago. I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist. However I realised today that she is (very very recently) married to a man who recently stood and won as a reform councillor in our local election. I detest reform. I’m married to an immigrant (EU citizen) and am delighted that my kids are dual nationals and have the option of travelling, working and living in the EU should they desire. I’m also very pro the transition to green energy. I have solar and drive an EV. Finally I cannot stand Farage and the political grift embodied by people like him and Jenrick and am dismayed by the harms caused by Brexit.

My therapist is also an EU national and is here under indefinite leave to remain - as is my wife.
Read a few interviews with her husband today and he spouts the usual anti EU, anti immigration, anti green transition rhetoric you’d expect from Reform. I don’t feel comfortable continuing therapy with someone who’s married to a reform politician, and am very surprised that she is comfortable with his views and by extension those of Farage.

Am I overreacting?

No , this would put me off too .