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AIBU?

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AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

812 replies

CanyonRider · 25/05/2026 18:20

I live in a small town. I started having therapy maybe a year ago. I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist. However I realised today that she is (very very recently) married to a man who recently stood and won as a reform councillor in our local election. I detest reform. I’m married to an immigrant (EU citizen) and am delighted that my kids are dual nationals and have the option of travelling, working and living in the EU should they desire. I’m also very pro the transition to green energy. I have solar and drive an EV. Finally I cannot stand Farage and the political grift embodied by people like him and Jenrick and am dismayed by the harms caused by Brexit.

My therapist is also an EU national and is here under indefinite leave to remain - as is my wife.
Read a few interviews with her husband today and he spouts the usual anti EU, anti immigration, anti green transition rhetoric you’d expect from Reform. I don’t feel comfortable continuing therapy with someone who’s married to a reform politician, and am very surprised that she is comfortable with his views and by extension those of Farage.

Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
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6
bafta16 · 26/05/2026 09:47

Mithral · 26/05/2026 09:43

You can't genuinely think this is true. How crazy.

Do you remember LOL? It's rather passe I know but I have just done it.

TheGreatDownandOut · 26/05/2026 09:47

CaptainMyCaptain · 26/05/2026 09:44

It is an appropriate place to hang flags.

So where is an inappropriate place to hang them?

BitOutOfPractice · 26/05/2026 09:46

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 25/05/2026 18:53

How can kindness and intelligence simply be switched off at will? That makes no sense.

You're right that the world isn't black and white. But people's political views cannot simply be divorced from their character and core values.

I agree with this. My political views very much form a part of my core values. I can’t separate my other beliefs and values from them. They are one and the same.

i would really struggle to be in any kind of relationship with someone married to a reform politician. I wouldn’t trust their judgment at all.

TheGreatDownandOut · 26/05/2026 09:46

Dr0pkick · 26/05/2026 09:14

If she sympathises with her husbands views she shouldn’t be a therapist.

And yet, the OP stated that the therapy has been working well until they found this out…

bafta16 · 26/05/2026 09:45

TheGreatDownandOut · 26/05/2026 09:42

When my son goes to scouts, it is held in a building where the St George and Union flags are on display. Should they all be sacked? Does this make my son racist? Is every Scout’s member and volunteer racist?

Yes, sack the Scouts.

FFS.

Paganpentacle · 26/05/2026 09:45

ImaSpringChicken · 26/05/2026 09:33

Most doctors are politically left leaning.

No... the ones I work with are absolutely not.

CaptainMyCaptain · 26/05/2026 09:44

TheGreatDownandOut · 26/05/2026 09:42

When my son goes to scouts, it is held in a building where the St George and Union flags are on display. Should they all be sacked? Does this make my son racist? Is every Scout’s member and volunteer racist?

It is an appropriate place to hang flags.

Dr0pkick · 26/05/2026 09:43

Sartre · 26/05/2026 09:39

Not everyone votes the same way as their spouse/partner. My DH tends to vote Labour and I vote Green. Of course both left but different parties. She may vote Tory, or Labour even- you don’t know!

Either way, I don’t think you should reject a person on the basis of their political party of choice. If you get on with them and the professional relationship works then who cares.

I’d leave my husband of 37 years if he ever voted Reform. No way would I want to spend time and share finances, children etc with views like that.

Mithral · 26/05/2026 09:43

ImaSpringChicken · 26/05/2026 09:37

As far as i can see, Reform have acted pretty swiftly and decisvely on dealing with racism in their ranks.

You can't genuinely think this is true. How crazy.

Gofnfnf · 26/05/2026 09:43

TallSturdyGirl · 26/05/2026 08:39

Racists have never been edgy. They've always just be sad bastards
I'm the same age as Farage if my friends wanted to be edgy, the wore out there clothes, went raving, listened to different music. They didn't say racist and antisemitic things.

Teenage boys say dumb things. Even the boys of today. Racial banter is a thing that young boys do. How someone acts and behaves in adult life is a completely different matter.

Hotsaucenoketchup · 26/05/2026 09:42

I don’t know if my therapist is married or single. My therapy sessions are about me not her.

I do know that she is an amazingly kind and wise women who had helped me so much and helped me turn my life around.

If I discovered she was married to a reform supporter - I think I would be surprised but it wouldn’t change all she has done and is doing for me.

I wouldn’t want to give up our working relationship because of her personal life which has absolutely nothing to do with me.

TheGreatDownandOut · 26/05/2026 09:42

Dexternight · 26/05/2026 09:30

Yes

When my son goes to scouts, it is held in a building where the St George and Union flags are on display. Should they all be sacked? Does this make my son racist? Is every Scout’s member and volunteer racist?

Sartre · 26/05/2026 09:39

Not everyone votes the same way as their spouse/partner. My DH tends to vote Labour and I vote Green. Of course both left but different parties. She may vote Tory, or Labour even- you don’t know!

Either way, I don’t think you should reject a person on the basis of their political party of choice. If you get on with them and the professional relationship works then who cares.

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 26/05/2026 09:38

LuckyHazelFox · 26/05/2026 09:13

That's between the therapist and her husband alone. I hope she gets wind of this thread and is proactive.

What do you mean by that? What do you think the therapist should do if she sees this thread?

ImaSpringChicken · 26/05/2026 09:37

Starfish1021 · 25/05/2026 19:19

Okay fine I'll bite. No I don't think they are just "wrong, crude, populist or unrealistic or unpleasant)" as evidenced by the many horrific things Reform politicians have said including a candidate in Sunderland stating that Nigerians should be melted down to ‘fill in the pot holes.’ This is racial supremacy and is already leading to increases in hate crimes. They are being very successful previously because people are ignoring their horrific views and policies.

As far as i can see, Reform have acted pretty swiftly and decisvely on dealing with racism in their ranks.

CaptainMyCaptain · 26/05/2026 09:35

OneStarAwake · 26/05/2026 09:29

Why does he feel the need to do this? Genuinely asking.

Eta: Ah. Just seen the drip feed.

Edited

I used to know someone who flew these flags in his garden a long time before the Raise the Colours shite. He did it because he was militantly left wing and wanted to reclaim the flag.

ImaSpringChicken · 26/05/2026 09:33

Feis123 · 25/05/2026 19:34

This is a disgusting woke trend (not the OP's views - she is fine to hate Reform and promote Green agenda, no problem at all) to conflate somebody's professionalism with their worthiness based on their political affiliation. Bonkers. My grandparents were working class and slightly to the left of Mao - but oh, boy, when they went for operations (performed by the filthy rich surgeons, whose mouths were stuffed with gold by Bevan) not only did they keep their mouths firmly shut, but they suddenly became apolitical, and the surgeons accents did not irk them so much, etc. etc.

Most doctors are politically left leaning.

CaptainMyCaptain · 26/05/2026 09:32

literallyevery · 26/05/2026 07:43

if you stop speaking to everyone who votes reform you’ll lose a lot of friends. The lefties are out of touch.

I'm 100% sure none of my friends vote Reform. If I knew anyone holding those views they wouldn't be my friend.

Dr0pkick · 26/05/2026 09:32

Paganpentacle · 26/05/2026 09:28

Just wondering how far you're willing to take this?
I mean... do you take into account the PERSONAL views of your GP? Dentist? Physio?
No- because you don't know them- just like you don't know the personal views of your therapist.
And even if you did...
A- none of your business.
B- its a totally separate issue as to how well she does her job.

Having Reform type views is less of an issue if you’re a dentist. Not pleasant and something I’d be weighing up carefully but not so much of an issue. They could be catastrophic in therapy.

Dexternight · 26/05/2026 09:30

DeathNote11 · 26/05/2026 07:15

Here is the problem....

There's a 3rd flag for a military regiment & a small engraved plaque on the fence with the names of his fallen comrades engraved on it. Still "class" or understandable sentiment & respect for people who have given their lives, like he was fully prepared to do (as was I) for this country?

I ask again. Should I be fired?

Yes

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 26/05/2026 09:29

Misnofitness · 25/05/2026 18:23

This has to be the ultimate Mumsnet pearl clutch

clearly you don’t believe women are capable of having their own opinions

If she didn’t agree with him then surely her opinion would be “I can’t marry a man with such terrible political views”.

OneStarAwake · 26/05/2026 09:29

DeathNote11 · 26/05/2026 06:18

My fiancé has 2 flag poles in his garden. He's flying the Union & St George's cross. Should I be fired?

Why does he feel the need to do this? Genuinely asking.

Eta: Ah. Just seen the drip feed.

Paganpentacle · 26/05/2026 09:28

Just wondering how far you're willing to take this?
I mean... do you take into account the PERSONAL views of your GP? Dentist? Physio?
No- because you don't know them- just like you don't know the personal views of your therapist.
And even if you did...
A- none of your business.
B- its a totally separate issue as to how well she does her job.

Missymoo100 · 26/05/2026 09:27

I think YABU- your therapists husbands political persuasion is really non of your business. I can think of no way that this would have any impact on your therapy sessions, nor did it prior to you making this discovery. I think it’s extremely childish. But by all means if you cannot stand the fact people might have different opinions to you, then go find another therapist…

LuckyHazelFox · 26/05/2026 09:27

@allsorts Don't patronise me.

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