AIBU to refuse removing lilies because next door’s cats keep coming in?

Yes plant some in the garden!!!

Does she want you to stop driving in case it gets run over?

Cat owner here but YANBU, she needs to have house cats or put up a cat fence if she worries that much about where they go.
Mine is a house cat, it’s safer. He’s 15. His sister lived to 16 and died from arthritis (PTS as she was in pain).

She's Batshit.

We've got two cats. I wouldn't dream of asking my neighbours to change their garden arrangements or planting to accommodate our animals.

Another cat owner/lily lover here, I would be arranging weekly deliveries of armfuls of lilies.

Is she going to inspect all of your other neighbours houses for risks to her cats too? She is BU.

Got our first cat in 1992 and the last one died last year aged 20. I've always had lillies and none of the cats has ever gone near the cut ones in the house or the many Stargazer lillies planted in the garden. They all seemed to know to avoid them. Your neighbour is a nutter and you should carry on with your life however you please! (Oh I have one flower bed where the cats liked to poo and the plants there are especially vigorous! Dig it in and at least get a little benefit from it!)

I’m terrible. I have cats and often have Lillys. So far never has a cat gone near them when they have made their way into a room with them.

I’ve had cats for the last 20 years and lily’s are my favourite flowers. Rarely without a vase of them in the house. None of my cats have ever had a problem with them although I have come from work to find an overturned vase as they seemed to love to use them as back scratchers!
Your neighbour is batshit

You are both being unreasonable.

If you train your cat well they will ‘go’ in their own garden. Mine did. We created a few places in it which she used. I also trained her to cover up after she had been. As a kitten just moving her paws over the litter so she understood what to do.
You cannot train a cat which gardens to visit ( not going to the loo). They do not respect humans legal boundaries. And we cannot expect them to do so !
Indoor cats are a sadness. They are not designed to be kept indoors.

We share this planet with a wide range of species and life other than ourselves. We have done enough damage to vast number of species. All usually for our own selfish wishes.

I doubt the cat will eat the flowers. Try and get on.

She is bonkers 🤪🤣 I wouldn’t be removing anything because mad cat lady told me to .

I've always had cats ever since I left home, (I'm now in my fifties), and I have nearly always had lilies in the house too. Yes, bad cat owner - however, even my shit for brains cats have never managed to kill themselves with them. If she's that worried, she needs to ensure her cats don't come onto your property, not ask you to proof your property for her cats.

I love cats more than people but she is being massively unreasonable

I would do that anyway, as the pollen can stain clothes.

You neighbour may suggest next that you also get rid of;
Onions and Garlic,
Chocolate and Caffeine,
Grapes and Raisins,
Human Medications,
Household Chemicals,
and Pesticides.
All of which can be poisonous to cats.

Probably best to sever the electricty supply too.

Yanbu about the ones in the house, shes crazy to ask. But id never have them in my garden. There's so many other beautiful flowers to pick from, I dont see the need to have ones that could cause one of the most agonising slow deaths to someone's pet.

She sounds like the person in charge of our local cat charity who won't re-home to certain roads because they are too busy.
Cats wonder. Ignore her.

If she’s that worried about her cats being poisoned by her neighbour’s plants she needs to keep them indoors until she feels it’s safe.

I didn’t know they were poisonous to cats and because they are my favourite flowers often had them in the house over the many, many years I had cats. None of them died from Lily poisoning. Ignore your neighbour.

The only reason why I personally wouldn’t have lilies is because I’m allergic, terrible hayfever from them. But as far as cats, keep your cat in your garden, plenty of options to do so

She sounds unhinged but if her cat gets sick she will blame you and well… she seems unhinged. How I would respond depends on how crazy she actually is.

YANBU. I have a cat, we’re obviously careful with the plants we have in our garden/home but wouldn’t dream on expecting our neighbours to restrict what they do with theirs. Cats roam, you can’t keep them 100% safe if you allow them outside.

"Hi Sue, I am not shutting my house up when its 28c outside or removing flowers (they were a gift - though not that, that matters). The responsibility lies on you as the cat owner to keep your cats inside if you are so anxious. This would be miles better for me too, since your cat is always pooing in my garden and coming into my home uninvited! Also please dont stare into my home like this, I feel uncomfortable about that".

YANBU- she needs to keep her own cat in her own garden, her responsibility to cat proof her own garden. You are free to enjoy your own private garden as you so choose. What is wrong with people?!

Do they also want everyone to stop driving down the road and stop letting their dogs in the garden?
Don't put lillies in their garden. If they don't think their cats are safe outside then they need to keep them in.

Hahhaha. Nailed it.