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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to refuse removing lilies because next door’s cats keep coming in?

91 replies

TooHotToCloseThem · 25/05/2026 16:35

Next door neighbours cats frequently cause a nuisance to me. Pooing in my garden , getting in the house if back door or windows open etc. I shoo them out or pick up the poo it annoys me but I tolerate it.

She has messaged me today (she can see directly into my conservatory from her garden and she is always staring ) asking me to shut my windows / door or to get rid of my flowers as they are poisonous to cats! They are 2 bunches of Lillies that family got me for my birthday yesterday! I also have some in a pot in the garden and various other flowers. I’ve messaged back and said maybe she needs to make her cats indoor cats as I’m not changing anything and that the cats will be fine as I’ve had the same flowers in the garden for a month and they’ve not gone near that pot (dig up my other ones though to use as litter trays!) so I’m not getting rid of my ones in vases in my own home just in case her cats come in !!!!!

OP posts:
RandomUsernameHere · 25/05/2026 20:21

YANBU and I’m a cat owner and absolutely adore cats.

Original poster
TooHotToCloseThem · 25/05/2026 20:16

SnipItScrapBook · 25/05/2026 20:14

Yabu to the cat - it could suffer an agonising death by poisoning from the lillies, not sure why the pp are suggesting get more lillies, it is the cat who will be in agony.

Yanbu the neighbour is wrong, she should be cat proofing her fences so the cat can't leave her garden, so it is safe from lillies, roads and will no longer use your garden as a litter tray!

I assumed they knew to avoid them as they’ve literally pooed in every other plant pot I have but not the Lillies!

OP posts:
SnipItScrapBook · 25/05/2026 20:14

Yabu to the cat - it could suffer an agonising death by poisoning from the lillies, not sure why the pp are suggesting get more lillies, it is the cat who will be in agony.

Yanbu the neighbour is wrong, she should be cat proofing her fences so the cat can't leave her garden, so it is safe from lillies, roads and will no longer use your garden as a litter tray!

Edictfromno10 · 25/05/2026 20:11

Happy Birthday, how lovely to get some lillies! Oh, and yes your neighbour is absolutely nuts!

Swissmeringue · 25/05/2026 20:08

Yanbu, she's crackers obviously.

In other news, I had no idea lilies are poisonous to cats, we have some in our garden and occasionally have them in the house. I'll go ahead and avoid them from now on but sometimes I'm amazed my cat has made it to 18 given my general incompetence.....

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 25/05/2026 19:58

My neighbour tried this with us, however we planted more lily’s in our back garden as our son is highly allergic to ALL animal dander
and we had to put measures in place to
keep our garden animal free.

She was most put out, that her cats (3) weren't free to roam in our garden, to potentially send our child into anaphylactic shock 😳

She said she would “report us” & “make us pay for her bet bills”… she was most outraged that we replied advising she was responsible for her animals not us!

Hasn’t spoke to us in over 10 years… she now has 5 cats.

Theresafakeinmyboot · 25/05/2026 19:52

Is she going to ban drivers within a certain radius of her home…far more chance of a cat being hit by a car than being poisoned by the flowers in your home.

The entitlement of some people is mind boggling

fancypantss · 25/05/2026 19:49

I have day lilies in my garden, unfortunately they have never poisoned any of my neighbours four cats that insist on using my vegetable patch as a toilet.

Your neighbour is clearly a complete CF.

SwatTheTwit · 25/05/2026 19:46

I love cats but you’re absolutely in the right. Their cat, their problem.

5foot5 · 25/05/2026 19:45

Pineapplewhip · 25/05/2026 17:18

"Hi Sue, I am not shutting my house up when its 28c outside or removing flowers (they were a gift - though not that, that matters). The responsibility lies on you as the cat owner to keep your cats inside if you are so anxious. This would be miles better for me too, since your cat is always pooing in my garden and coming into my home uninvited! Also please dont stare into my home like this, I feel uncomfortable about that".

This is perfect

fantam · 25/05/2026 19:42

You first of all need a blind or some other way of stopping her staring in at you when you're in the conservatory. That would be my no 1 priority here. I'd ignore her and everything else and carry on with my life lived according to my own tastes and enjoyment.

Silverbirchleaf · 25/05/2026 19:33

Does she keep an eye on where her cats wander to, and what plants other people have in their garden?

KilkennyCats · 25/05/2026 19:12

WallaceinAnderland · 25/05/2026 16:37

Get more lilies

😆

Kizmet1 · 25/05/2026 19:11

She sounds absolutely mental. It's bad enough asking you to move the outdoor lilies, but asking you to shut your doors and windows or get rid of flowers in your own house - just in case her cats come in - is just crazy.

Tekknonan · 25/05/2026 18:50

It's the owner's responsibility to keep her cat safe, not yours.

Cats are not as stupid as people think. I have always had cats, often grown things that can be toxic to them, but apart from getting stoned on catnip, they never go near the things.

Not your problem.

Rozendantz · 25/05/2026 18:48

I've owned cats forever and have never had one that showed even the remotest of interest in lilies. They've eaten plenty of other inappropriate crap, but never lilies

Your neighbour is deranged.

Friendlygingercat · 25/05/2026 18:46

My neighbours do not even know my name let alone have my phone number.

Ponoka7 · 25/05/2026 18:45

Like pp I'm sceptical about how poisonous they are. Tulips are supposed to be toxic, I've had cats that used to eat them, they all lived long lives.

Monty36 · 25/05/2026 18:39

Tabarnak · 25/05/2026 18:32

We do share the planet with a wide range of wildlife under threat.

So it seems a shame to keep animals as pets that take a terrible toll on wild garden birds and frogs.

Sick to death of other peoples pets shitting in my garden and killing wildlife.

Show quote history

I don’t believe that all the dead birds are down to cats as is reported.

Tabarnak · 25/05/2026 18:32

Monty36 · 25/05/2026 17:43

You are both being unreasonable.

If you train your cat well they will ‘go’ in their own garden. Mine did. We created a few places in it which she used. I also trained her to cover up after she had been. As a kitten just moving her paws over the litter so she understood what to do.
You cannot train a cat which gardens to visit ( not going to the loo). They do not respect humans legal boundaries. And we cannot expect them to do so !
Indoor cats are a sadness. They are not designed to be kept indoors.

We share this planet with a wide range of species and life other than ourselves. We have done enough damage to vast number of species. All usually for our own selfish wishes.

I doubt the cat will eat the flowers. Try and get on.

We do share the planet with a wide range of wildlife under threat.

So it seems a shame to keep animals as pets that take a terrible toll on wild garden birds and frogs.

Sick to death of other peoples pets shitting in my garden and killing wildlife.

HoskinsChoice · 25/05/2026 18:16

🤣 This emoji is perfect for such eventualities. Don't waste your time with words, just a laughing emoji.

SapphireSeptember · 25/05/2026 18:12

Fluffybuns88 · 25/05/2026 17:07

Absolutely not, we transitioned our cats to indoor cats last year because one of the neighbours mentioned he sets his aggressive dog on cats that go in his garden and they it had already killed two.

I am not responsible for my neighbours gardens, I am however responsible for my cats.

I would also keep them in if they were becoming a nuisance.

He sounds like an absolute lunatic. Vile man. Angry

user3769863490 · 25/05/2026 18:02

She’s quite mad - her cats to keep safe.
But, it’s not actually the Lilly thats dangerous - unless they started eating them (unlikely) it’s the yellow pollen from the stamen, the cat gets the pollen on their fur and ingests it when they lick their coats. It’s quite easy to cut them off and remove majority of the danger - my SIL is a florist and they do this for weddings as it stops people staining their clothes if they brush past.

rainbowstardrops · 25/05/2026 17:56

I’d tell her to fuck off no.

Pawpaw4 · 25/05/2026 17:53

I’m a cat owner whose cat goes outdoors. You’re not being unreasonable. It’s a risk people take when they let their cat roam and I include myself in that. I avoid lillies in the house and the garden but what flowers others have is entirely up to them.

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