AIBU to refuse removing lilies because next door’s cats keep coming in?

Obviously she's being unreasonable but you could cut out the yellow stamens (hold a tissue underneath) as the pollen falls off very easily and is highly toxic to cats. You don't even need to tell her you've done so!

It also stains badly so a lot of people cut the stamens out anyway.

Just wondering why so many Mumsnetters give their phone number to entitled batshit neighbours and other random! Block her calls and texts.

While I fully agree they are not your cats, not your problem, the cats roaming is not their "fault" and being poisoned for it is not a fair consequence to an animal that doesn't know they are doing something wrong.

You could keep all the lilies, and just snip out the pollen (which stains badly anyway, so saves that issue too). You can keep your boundaries but also not have the potential of a sick animal as well.

I’m a cat lover and owner and think she’s being unreasonable. We take a risk every time we let our cats out of the door (if they’re outdoor cats).

While I agree you shouldn't be constrained in what you grow, I've watched a cat die from kidney failure due to lily poisoning.

But I guess that isn't a concern and maybe you'd actually be happy if the cats died?

Privacy film is what you need op.
And lots more lillies...

It's only the stamens that are poisonous not the petals.

What do cats wonder about? I’ve always wondered 🤔.

Tell her she needs to move, preferably to a desert island where there are no fowers so her cats can go poo where they like and also have no neighbours for them to irritate.

Tell her she needs to move, preferably to a desert island where there are no fowers so her cats can go poo where they like and also have no neighbours for them to irritate.

They are poisonous. My cat had lily poisoning - they damage the kidneys.As many other posters have said, we had lilies and she never showed any interest, never tried to eat them ( we had had her for years by this point) - but one day she obviously brushed past the vase on the table and got pollen on her fur and must have licked it. She was white so I saw it, thought “ wtf is that, oh hang on, lilies - and aren’t they meant to be poisonous…” so I rang the vet expecting to be told not to fuss, keep an eye on her. Instead they said come straight in - it was midnight!
She did survive but she was at the vets on a drip for 4-5 days, still remember when they called me at work to say she was a bit better as I was sure they were calling to say we’d lost her.If she hadn’t been white we would have lost her.
I still think it’s the neighbours job to protect her cat , but dear other cat owners I wouldn’t be too relaxed about the risk.

Lilies are horrifically toxic for cats - I would never have them in the house even though we tend to have flowers on the mantle where our cat would never go. Other flowers can give a cat an upset tummy if they ate them, but lily poisoning is pretty much a death sentence if they ingest pollen or any part of the plant. (Most likely scenario is pollen drops, cat walks through pollen and it’s on cat’s paws, cat licks paws.) I dug up a load of lily of the valley last year (in our own garden!) because I stupidly hadn’t clicked that was part of the same family.

Your neighbour is, however, totally unreasonable - I’m a proper mad cat lady and I think she’s being utterly bonkers.

I never had Lillys in the house when I had a cat but I did have them in the garden and never gave it a second thought until now! I wouldn’t dream of dictating to the neighbours what plants they should have!

Your neighbour needs to be ignored, talk about entitlement!
id not want cats to come to any harm but I’d not want them in my garden either!, as for clearing up their poo, I’d bag it and drop it round to the owner, maybe she’ll get the hint.

I’d also possibly buy lots of fake lilies and put them in every windowsill!

she is being beyond ridiculous telling you want you can and can’t have In your own home!

She should cat-proof her garden. More / all people should really.

Sounds like you need to paint more lillies to reduce the pooing problem ….

Reasonable, fair and equitable...no one of sound mind could complain about that.

@TooHotToCloseThem im a cat lover and she’s ridiculous to ask.

have you tried a noise deterrent in the garden? My folks have one and it works wonders.

I also picked up a load of pine cones and twisty branches from my mini cherry blossom and other plants (including roses) to make cat deterrents to stop them pooing in my beds and it’s worked so far. I lay it out so they can’t get through them.

in pots you could have twisted branches and wind catchers/ribbons etc in them to make them more decorative if they are in more visible spots?

Dear neighbour: I'm allergic to cats, please would you get rid of your cats as they are poisonous to me....

I'm about cat lover and even I think she's batshit!!!
What next? Asking people to not drive within a 2 mile radius of her house in case they decide to run into the road??
If you have cats and let them roam freely, then unfortunately you need to accept the consequences of them being unsafe when not on your own property.
Happy birthday and enjoy your flowers!

I’d get privacy film so she can’t see into your conservatory for a start. Who stands staring into someone else’s house? That’s unhinged.

I love lilies-and Cats, my Cats have never gone near my flowers. Shes being a CF.

I always pull the stamens out, using a tissue. It stops me accidentally staining things, but it will also avoid killing the cats accidentally. The neighbour won’t be able to see, so she’ll still worry!

So££ing cats crap in my garden. I hadn’t thought of lilies but I think I’ll get some 🤙

Cheeky cow!