How can I turn down uninvited siblings politely from nieces 9th birthday party?

I'd tuck some colouring materials and a couple of books into a bag and have them ready if Lucy's mum tries it on and drops off the sibling ... she can sit in reception doing it while you text her mum that that's where she is and she needs to come get her.

I would never accommodate my child not being able to do what they wanted at their own birthday party. The OP has explained that the areas are split up by age so if they have a younger sibling in town, that means they can’t use that space. Thats super unfair.

I did accommodate a sibling once actually. My son’s bestie’s dad died a few weeks before the party and he asked to bring his older brother along. I had my daughter and another similar aged sibling come too so it wasn’t too obvious and it didn’t change anything about the party as it was older siblings. I haven’t had a parent stay at a house party since they were 5 so there’s no excuse really

This is spot on

Did you not read the part about dumping the child in a taxi unsupervised???
And if you read my replies EYE am absolutely not letting a parent get away with this. By my solutions don't include any safeguarding risks.

For me, better to be direct and rude upfront. My suggested message for OP was to warn the parents that she knows some of them will try it and that if they do their kids will not be joining in so they better come correct.

That's terrible! I would never ask someone to take a sibling. I've hosted parties before and have had parents ask if siblings can come, or I've messaged and said to those with siblings whether they can or can't come. I did one where it was a set number activity and had a couple of parents bring siblings but only to watch not to take part. I actually had spare slots as there were people who had to cancel last minute and they were super appreciative when I offered for their sibling to take part in the activity and they definitely didn't expect it. I also brought spare party bags and they tried to refuse when I offered to the siblings, but I pretty much forced them to take it lol ! You are very generous to be even on helping at all. I would have cancelled the party /rescheduled it.

Good text, @ThePetiteMermaiddid you get any replies?!

A child being left at the reception is not at risk. The parents will have to come back to
collect. I know a lot of people who simply wouldn’t have the money to pay another £10/15 to get that child in so including them in the party would simply not be possible. And cancelling your kids party at that moment is absolutely out of the question. So, the uninvited kid would be left at reception. The child would be a stranger to you, uninvited and nothing to do with you. The reception staff can leave them on a chair until a parent turns up. It’s not the responsibility of the host parent.

There's always that one who takes it too far. Some of you are actual safeguarding risks for children. If you would put the child at risk you wouldn't be "nice".

If you want to be big and bad, better to tell the parents that they either pick up their kid or you will call social services, and mean it.

I hope this is a joke.

First post nailed it. Good luck op!

I think you can say no to siblings, though if one of these children is a best friend, usually you would accommodate (just because there have been many play dates, sleepovers etc). I would do party bags, just a slice of cake and x 1 gift will do.

If it's at a soft play or similar they are absolute CF as anyone should know the form is to pay for spare kids and supervise them, and they do not turn up for the party stuff.

As usual on MN the first reply has it. Perfect response to the cheeky fuckers.

Firstly, what does your brother in law do that requires him to work 24 hours a day? Working full time, isn't an excuse not to organise a party for his child.
They are taking advantage.
I've done party's in the past, and siblings do turn up, which is fine, but I have never known a parent expect to have food provided for them, they usually buy them something..
Also, at 9 years of age, most parents used to stay, so any parent bringing a sibling should be staying with them.

It is easy to say that you as an adult would be relaxed about siblings but the child whose birthday it is doesn't want them. She's already having to have her birthday without either of her parents there (although luckily by the sounds of things she has a lovely auntie) so surely she can expect to have her birthday party as she wishes without having to #BeKind.

The OP has updated to say she has messaged the group. There are only 3 OP posts on the thread so surely not too much to expect posters to read them before responding?

I'd make it shorter tbh. Siblings cannot be accommodated in the party group but you are welcome to join us and pay their entry and meal yourself.

I’m not sure if it’s a bit waffley but after some of the horror stories people have posted I wanted to make it crystal clear that we won’t be looking after any extra siblings who are just left to join the party

The issue with writing so much, and trying to make it clear is that CFs aren't interested. They simply want their own way, and since you already know one of the mums has form for bringing extras then disappearing you can fully expect the same

So to my mind the only answer is to keep it simple with "siblings/extras can't be accommodated" and then to have someone on hand to make sure they're not

You may need to prepare for tantrumming and tearful siblings and/or outraged CFers, but it'll pass and at least they won't try it on with you again

You are such a lovely sister and aunty.
I don't get this culture of bringing siblings to parties. Nor adults staying at parties. I have never done either and wouldn't accept it at my own kids' parties.

At 9 they get dropped off anyway surely so not having childcare for the sibling isn’t even an excuse. Can’t really believe their cheek to be honest- my child can’t come unless YOU pay for their sibling to come too?! Who would think this way. Of course you just need to be assertive and say sorry, invited children only, we are paying for each child individually and it will cost x per child.

Why would you be relaxed about siblings out of interest? If the Op is supervising children of different ages then they can’t go into the full trampoline park as there’s limits on different sections and her niece would rightfully want to be in the older kid section. It’s also very different supervising 5 9 year olds and supervising 5 9 year olds and an assortment of younger kids she doesn’t know well. Sounds super difficult. The cost is really the least of the issues.

It's good that this is a trampoline park and not soft play - it's harder to just drop and run at a place with proper barriers and where parents have to sign waivers and get wristbands.

First post hits the spot perfectly, because it’s clear and leaves no doubt.

This is what you need.

And NO, you don’t want parents dropping off their kids, and you could end up with a bill anyway, given some of these parents are clearly very cheeky. Frankly, the other siblings child care is not your problem. What would they have been doing if neither child had been invited.

If a persons child cannot come without their sister, say “Oh I’m very sorry if that means X cannot come, but there is a set number of spaces. Please let me know for certain if she won’t be coming.”

This is the one is go with

Make an extra cake which can already be cut and wrapped. Ask the extra two kids to pay $$ for their entry and meal. You might have a kid or two not turn up anyway.

Ask another adult to assist you.

I'd be relaxed about siblings.