How can I turn down uninvited siblings politely from nieces 9th birthday party?

"We've had a few people ask about siblings, and I'm sorry but we can't take siblings as we have only a limited number booked. If your child can't come please let me know. Thank you."

So it's clear to all that siblings can't come.

Say you have taken over the running of the party but can't change any of the arrangements. Numbers are final and you are very sorry but you can't accommodate siblings.

That's shocking from the other mums if they know your DSis is unwell. It doesn’t even make sense as they will be dropping their child off. I think a simple message like the one above is perfect. Don’t get too much into the ifs and buts.

I think no party bags is unusual so if your budget can stretch to something simple it would be appreciated. However as you are organising this on your sister’s behalf I think it would be totally understandable.

In fact I would probably put it on the group chat that you've had a few requests and so ...

Preempt any others and get the group on board.

Lots of good replies about the centre being open and parents needed to say and pay for activity and food if they don't want to drop and go.

We had this recently. The sibling in question was much younger than the rest of the group and we're too small to join in properly due to height restrictions.

In this case the CF dropped both kids off and ran. My dsis included them, didn't have much choice. They complained the whole time. I would have text and told the parent to collect their younger DC. I would most definitely have had a conversation about the unexpected drop off.

I felt very sorry for the older sibling, they were clearly expected to babysit their younger brother. At 9 I would expect a drop and go. It is super cheeky to ask random people to include younger siblings. We have twins in the family and they had their own friendship groups.

I would be worried extra sibs would stay with the birthday party, change the dynamic and expect food, even if mum paid them in.

So would go with

Don't worry about supervising invited child we don't expect parents to stay. Sorry, numbers are confirmed so we can't accommodate siblings.

Then it makes it clear she's not needed so can look after her own uninvited child.

There hasn’t been any money offered but one mum put “Lucy isn’t expecting a party bag but I’m hoping you will be able to provide a meal for her”.

FML! The audacity of these people 😮.

What did you do ? Did you have a word with the mum when she came back ?

At 9, surely they’d be dropping them off so no need for siblings. Some parents are so rude.

Hope your sister is okay, OP, you are very kind (and brave!) to do this for your niece.

“Katy can’t come without her sister Jess as I have no one to look after Jess, "

Why does she need anyone to look after Jess? Won't she just be dropping Katy at the venue and leaving? They're nine, they don't need parents in attendance, and probably don't want younger siblings tagging on.

I wouldn't be waffly about it. Just reply 'Party is booked for a fixed number of guests. Sorry not sorry we cannot accommodate any extras'.

It's very rude of them to expect to bring siblings when the cost of the activity is individual. It's fine to make it clear that siblings cannot attend unless their parent stays and pays for them to do it separately from the party group. It's total rubbish that siblings have to come as there is no one to look after them - who was going to look after them if there was no party?
Just tell them the party cannot accommodate siblings and you cannot supervise them.

This is perfect.

I never understand why people think it’s acceptable to ask to bring siblings to parties. If I couldn’t get childcare mine never went, I find it really rude to ask if siblings can attend.

My 9 year old would be beyond mortified if I stayed at his friends’ parties with my younger ones. He and his friends have been dropped off at parties for years now - very weird that parents would want to stay. The first response was perfect IMO.

I stayed either onsite or very close until mine were secondary age. Not remotely a helicopter parent but they have allergies requiring EpiPens and I didnt think it was fair to leave a party host solely responsible for them

I'd be collaring your BIL and getting him to pull his weight by replying to these parents.

His wife became unexpectedly ill, had to have an operation, his daughter needs a birthday party organised and his solution is to go to work and leave it all down to you?

Unbelievable.

Why do people always say they're struggling for childcare? What would they do with the kids if there was no party, especially as it's drop and go at this age?

This!

I don’t understand why siblings need to attend if it’s a drop off and leave party, which it sounds like it is? Surely the parents would need to look after them either way.

@Sausagesmyarse has got a good reply.

I’ve got three children.

I cannot tell you how many times I have had to send this message over the years for their birthday parties 🤣

Are they old enough to “drop and run”? If so, there is no need for the mums to stay, so they can take the siblings home. It’s harder if you’re expecting parents to stay.

Its fine to explain that you can’t accommodate siblings, so you understand if <invited friend> isn’t able to attend

Either postpone the whole thing for a week or two of just reply politely that sorry you haven't room in your house for extra children and you've already had to turn down similar requests. What is wrong with people. Too annoying.

This annoys me so much!
Just say " sorry,but final numbers are already sorted"
That's all you need to say
If the child doesn't come because they have nobody to look after the sibling then that's their fault not yours.
I once did a party for my son. One of his friends has 4 siblings. They all turned up, Mum slipped out whilst my back was turned and left them all!! One was still in nappies......conveniently, her phone was switched off when I tried to contact her....
And they all expected party bags!

I would say something along the lines of “ Had a few questions about siblings - the play centre is open for everyone that day so if anyone wants to bring siblings and pay their entry fee/ meal at fast food place that’s fine . obviously parents bringing siblings will need to stay and supervise. Entry to event and meal at X place is covered for party kids.

Then when you arrive at event if you can pay up front for the invited kids and stand at entrance with list of names ticking them off as they arrive. Direct siblings /parents to desk to pay separately.

Don’t people just drop their children and leave at nine?! I hope so, I can’t imagine still having to host parents when they get to that age!

I would say that entry and food is included for the friend of the birthday child and siblings are welcome, but have to be paid separately on the day to the venue (assuming there is a cafe on site).