Partner lying in bed on hottest day of the year …would you be annoyed ?

I’m sorry but working 6 days a week does give you the occasional free pass to do fuck all
im sorry but car boot and beach are my idea of hell on a bank holiday
yes he went to the match but he only gets 4 days a month of I’d be tempt to just do the things I like

I don’t think he’s being a dick on purpose.

Saturday night he tired out sooner than usual and left a show early.
He likely felt ill yesterday but pushed through it only to crash last night.
Now on Monday, he feels too ill to get out of bed.

Looks like a normal progression when someone is ill. They get a good night’s rest, then try and push through the next day, and only after that does it set in they are actually quite ill.

I’m ill this weekend. I have enough energy to do a small number of things, otherwise I’m horizontal. I worked 12 hour days last week. Luckily my partner is wonderful so will entertain himself without moaning and whinging about it, or questioning my choices.

I couldn't get annoyed if my DH didn't want to do something with me on a sunny day. Lounging in the back garden while I read my book and the dogs sunbathe is bliss for me.
What I would be extremely pissed off about is if a gig I wanted to go to was too much for him but he could power through something he wanted to do.

I got a waterproof pouch for my car key and phone when I wanted to go to the beach on my own.

True and could he not have just gone home alone?

OP why didn't you stay to enjoy the main act? Surely he wasn't ill enough that you needed to take him home??

I've just read the OP's post back to front. Arghhhhhhh can I blame the heat?

So he was fine at the match but had to go home early from the gig..... seems odd but some viruses can make you feel rough, then OK, then really hit you a few days after infection. I'd be pissed off too, but probably let it go. Go out and enjoy yourself if you're brave enough for the scorcher that is today.

If this is a pattern, then maybe you need to have a serious chat with him. If it rarely happens, I'd let it go.

He's selective as to when his sore throat bothers him isn't he? He's either ill or he's not and I suspect the latter.

The gig would've really annoyed me, not cheap and often years before bands come and play again. Why didn't he just take some cough sweets? I am pretty sure a sore throat bad enough to go home doesn't come on suddenly!

Hm. Ordinarily, I'd say if someone's not feeling well, they should be allowed to rest, even if you've made plans. It's disappointing, but that's life. However, this is a bit different. Sandwiched between two 'woe is me, I'm so ill' days, he powered through his sore throat to do what was important to him (football). That would suggest that he cares more about the stupid football than spending time with you, doing anything you're interested in. It's not the end of the world, but yeah, I'd be annoyed.

So he was only there to look after your stuff! If I had worked 6 days and felt poorly, that would be thelast thing I’d want to do! I do think you are being a bit selfish!

But he was okay to be out yesterday for ten hours (in the heat) after claiming he had a sore throat the night before… .

Unwell Friday night for OPs gig, ok for his football on Saturday, unwell again for something with OP today. 🤔 I’m very sympathetic to anyone unwell but this sounds like someone who is using it when suits. No time for that.

You’re telling OP to keep the poor lamb extra hydrated today? Lol. I’m sure he can at least manage to fetch his own water and lift it to his mouth to keep himself hydrated today, he managed the football yesterday after all.

It’s not so much the being in bed on a hot day with a sore throat (I’m avoiding the garden till later), it’s his ability to be ok when it’s something he wants to do that would piss me off.

What to do about it? I’ve no idea, I stopped trying to navigate relationships year’s ago.

No. Leave him alone. He's not feeling well and some people are debilitated by the heat. He just doesn't have the energy to perform right now.

Today is very much hotter. I sort of don't blame him. Maybe tolerating the heat at the match has worn him out and he has nothing left in the tank.

I'm a middle aged heat avoidant now, used to love it. Perimenopause probably. But I've also spent a lot of time in Africa and Asia and the best place to be when it's over 28 Celsius is in a darkened room with cucumber water or a cup of tea and then get stuff done later on or first thing in the morning.

Shame about any plans. But even linen, cotton, long sleeves and a big hat don't make the heat any more tolerable in my mind now.

If it’s anything like my house, football comes before everything! I have started doing things on my own because otherwise I would do nothing. My DH is always hungover and has a sore throat the day after football from all the shouting and drinking 🙄. Tbh it’s starting to give me the ick, I am wondering what it would be like to be with someone who actively wanted to spend time with me 🫤. Sorry so have no useful advice OP, I’m in pretty much the same boat.

Reading MN in my lounge with the curtains 3/4 drawn and a fan on 🤣 Nobody is missing out based on my lack of activity.

I feel sorry for @luluxxx who hasn't got to enjoy the day as planned.

Don’t blame him - he sounds unwell and is in that no energy stage as he’s coming down with something. Keep him extra hydrated especially in this heat. I hear your disappointment but it does sound like he’s unwell. That said I am baffled by the gig vs the football game, OP! 😬

If he’d missed football yesterday because he felt too ill then fair enough but to miss the part of the concert that you wanted to see then being tickety boo for why he wanted to do but then being too ill today - yeah I’d be utterly pissed off with him!
Is he usually this selfish? How long have you been together?
Oh and enjoy the sunshine by yourself!

But OP only wanted him to go to the beach so he could watch her stuff?

She said, she would have gone alone but she did not want to leave her stuff on the beach.

So presumably, they were not going to swim together - his job was watching the stuff?

Also I pretty much never get ill, but surely it is pretty common you feel better one day then worse the next - particularly if he is thinking he has to go back in to work again tomorrow for another round of 6d and wants to rest up?

My ex was like this. Worked nights, I asked multiple times for him to swap shifts but wouldnt. Wouldnt get up on weekends, even when we had plans. I gave up, stopped booking things because I knew he wouldnt get up no matter what he said. But if his sister needed something doing hed be up. Footballs on, he'd manage to be awake. Anything that he wanted to do or benefited him he was up. lasted about a year (together 13) before he moved out because id had enough.

He's clearly not feeling great. He overdid it yesterday which was stupid and a bit annoying, but that can't be helped now. I wouldn't force him out for another day in the sun which would just make him feel even worse. Just enjoy a lovely relaxed day doing your own thing!

I’d be annoyed about leaving the gig early but the rest I’d not be bothered about.

I’ve deliberately stayed in today to avoid the sun and would hate beach or car boot so I’m with him there. Especially feeling under the weather.

I'm due to meet extended family who are staying locally for the beach tomorrow and frankly I’m dreading it already!! Me and heat do not mix!

He may ,of course, be thinking the same thing!

Honestly if I worked 6 days a week I would need a day in bed! But thats just me