Would you judge self harm scars?

Again, it’s not her problem and it’s unfair to put it on her. Her body ‘triggering’ someone else is a totally unfair thing to try and place on her. She has nothing to hide or be ashamed of, and you should be aware yourself of how unfair it is to try and shame someone into hiding their body

Judge as in notice? Yes , fleetingly.
In terms of what would I think ... that person is a warrior and must have gone through some bad things and overcome them .

Aware, but not responsible for those people, including you I'm afraid.

But it’s a real life effect she could have on others. She should be aware.

This!!
my friend has a couple and she bought some sort of concealer stuff for her arms for a wedding recently if you were really that bothered but anyone who judges is no friend and good on you for moving on ❤️

This isn’t OPs responsibility, and it’s not fair to put it on her.

I had a class with Changing Faces where they taught me to cover them with makeup (and gave me the makeup).

Seeing your self harm scars would trigger my compulsion to self harm. That’s not an uncommon reaction in former self harmers.

Are you comfortable knowing that you could be triggering people?

Can you not just wear cooler material? Covering arms doesn’t have to mean melting in hot weather.

No, any more than I would judge burn scars, or any other marks bearing witness to what a person has survived.

If it's any help OP, I have self harm scars on my arms, and other parts of my body, from when I was in my 20s. Once they healed up, I started wearing shorts sleeves, and have done since. I'm in my 40s now, if anyone has noticed, they've never said anything to me.

I think realistically people will notice and wonder. They may not express that out loud but folk will have questions and may well chat amongst themselves. It’s not ok but I think human nature says people notice anything unusual particularly if it suggests a difficult past.

Thats no reason to cover up, and I wouldn’t be explaining myself to anyone, including small children, but I’d be aware people will have an opinion and not always a kind one.

Definitely wouldn’t judge. Don’t think I’d think anything of it other than I hope that things are better for you now. And that you had scars for difficult times you went through in the past.
Wear short sleeves, be comfortable. Most people won’t judge and those that do aren’t worth knowing..

I’m nosy so I would be curious about your past (although I would never ask) but I wouldn’t judge, no.

If it makes you feel self-conscious though, there is specialist makeup that you can get to cover scars. Or I know somebody who got a tattoo to cover hers?

I have some self-harm scars. I don’t think casual acquaintances would judge. I have had romantic partners back away in the past and that is their right. You might get small children being curious about them.

I would think you’ve gone through a really difficult time and feel sympathy, and then I’d think you’re strong for still being here and showing your scars

I have plenty myself and wear short sleeves. In over 25 years I've never had anyone (adult) comment

I rarely notice them on other people as it just doesn't stand out to me as it feels so normal, but if I do notice it tends to make me feel warmly towards that person - like we have a shared past and understand each other.

The two times a small kid asked I just said "I fell into a bush and got scratched up" and they giggled and accepted it.

someone very close to me has this, and people do side eye. They cover up with light materials unless they’re round strangers or people they feel super comfortable with. You are fully within your right to have them uncovered, you may just get some ‘well meaning’ comments which can get annoying.

My totally honest answer would not be to “judge”. I would be thinking goodness how can someone do that to themselves. I would wonder how bad things must have been for the person.

i can’t deny that I would find it an initial shock to see but I would totally hide my shock.

i certainly don’t think anyone should hide their scars for my social benefit. The initial shock/awkwardness is not so great that I can’t manage it. I would rather that than someone feel they have to go around hiding away.

Yeah, but sometimes we haven’t.

I wasn’t. I was a 14 year old copying some dickhead from a band by scratching quotes from fucking Russian poets who I’d never heard of into my arm over one summer.

I really don’t need anyone’s pity, and to be honest, the little smiles and nods - it annoys me more than the shitty comments.

My daughter has a lot of self harm scars.

I'd feel sad that you'd ever felt as bad as she had.

And I'd think you were brave for letting them be on show. We're definitely as still hiding them in public in our house. Although she now allows family to see them within the house which is a big step

Oh goodness, the complete opposite. It typically makes me feel sad that they had clearly been in pain at some stage in their lives and I usually want to hug Younger Them for the pain they were clearly in. (I don’t actually do it, clearly). I would also be hoping that they were in a better place.

My sibling was a self harmer and what she went through with depression for most of her mid twenties still makes me sad. She’s doing great now though and living a happy, fulfilled life.

But no, I would never judge.

I feel grateful when I see a person who is not hiding their scars. I feel glad they don't feel the need to hide them and it gives me hope for my own DC who self harmed in secondary school and is now figuring out living with scarring.

I wouldn’t judge but I would probably feel uncomfortable as I find visible self-harm scars triggering for my own self harm. That said I know that’s somewhat hypocritical as I was happy to show my scars up until I had a significant relapse several years ago and in my teens would even show fresh cuts. I feel differently now though, to me they’re private and I don’t want people wondering what caused me to do that and I do also feel uncomfortable about children/ young adults seeing them as I think they can open up inappropriate questions or even trigger somebody to relapse or start. I started self harming after I read about it in a teen magazine and would hate to think I triggered the thought in someone else who was vulnerable and struggling.

For me I would also rather be uncomfortable because I’m a bit hot than uncomfortable because of difficult stares or questions, with the former as soon as the sun goes in the discomfort is gone but with the latter the discomfort and anxiety can continue way beyond the gathering as it can change someone’s entire perception of me in a way I don’t have control of.

I think some parents with young children probably avoid people with self harm scars as it means a conversation about it. My kids saw a lady with scars when they were little and asked about it. It wasn’t a conversation I really wanted to have but I explained, some people when they’re young feel too sad and cut their arms to try to feel better. But it doesn’t make them feel better. It’s important to talk about your bad feelings. Everybody gets bad feelings sometimes but we mustn’t keep it to ourselves for too long, as it makes us feel worse. So to always come tell me if they feel sad. This turned out to be a real positive teaching experience. Since that day they’ve come and talked to me about anything that’s getting them down. They’ve told me about seeing some friends with self harm scars on their arms and legs, in p.e. At least now they have an awareness and better understanding of it. I think you should wear what ever you want. If you’re self conscious you could wear those arm tube banages. Personally I’d let the sun help fade the scars and be comfortable.

I absolutely would not judge. My lovely daughter had a lot of self harm scars on her arms and upper legs. I understood her history and have always been very sensitive to others as well (I like to think).

DD started work as a primary school teacher last year and did keep them covered so as to avoid questions from children and, I have to say, judgment from the parents.

Sadly some people did judge DD. Or certainly gave her disparaging looks. She perfected the art of staring back quite pointedly. She also had tattoos over some of the scars. As a way of reclaiming the memories. And we had discussed laser treatment. Though she preferred the tattoos mostly and had also become more at ease with the scars which were nearly a decade old.

Sorry OP. That’s a bit of a rambling way of answering your question. In short, I absolutely would not judge. But sadly some people likely will. Think ahead to prepare yourself for your reaction to those who do.

I send you so many good wishes.