Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend expecting me to work for free

204 replies

unpaid1 · 24/05/2026 21:35

Recently, a friend who I used to work with has opened her own consulting business and told me about it. As we worked in the same field she said we could work together where if she needed any help with documents, data entry I could pick it up. I of course said yes, that sounds great , make a bit of money on the side.

The issue is I’ve now done quite a few pieces of work for her but she hasn’t mentioned any payment? I tried to hint to her last week when she asked me to type something up for her, how would we work how I’m getting paid and she said don’t worry we will talk about it soon. She gave me the business bank card and told me to order stationary etc if needed as she would cover the costs.

She’s just messaged again asking for a task to be competed and I’m slightly annoyed now because I can’t keep giving my time up for free. How do I approach this with her without ruining our friendship? I really don’t want to finish this new task she’s given me as I know it’s going to take a good 5-6 hours 😭.

AIBU and should just help her?
AINBU and how do I ask her to pay me?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/05/2026 22:05

I might put off the new task though as it’s not urgent and tell her I’ll work on it next week just to be cautious. That way it’s my own hard lesson to be learnt if she doesn’t pay but I’ve not wasted more time

I think that's a very sensible idea, @unpaid1
Really this should have been sorted before you started, but you know that now and there's no point in working if she's not going to pay you

I honestly wouldn't do a single thing more until she's done it though ... not even if she starts on faux surprise and the "don't you trust me"

Aboutreadytogiveup · 27/05/2026 21:28

Hope you get paid op!

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 26/05/2026 06:00

unpaid1 · 25/05/2026 23:12

As it’s the end of the month this week I won’t have to wait long to see if she really does take me for a mug. I hope not, I thought we were quite good friends and despite everything I want to think she wouldn’t completely use me like this. I might put off the new task though as it’s not urgent and tell her I’ll work on it next week just to be cautious. That way it’s my own hard lesson to be learnt if she doesn’t pay but I’ve not wasted more time either.

Yes, definitely don't do the new task until she pays you for the rest.

I think that you are too nice. She hasn't paid you a penny so far. What kind of friend does that?

Original poster
unpaid1 · 25/05/2026 23:14

Mellowautumnmists · 25/05/2026 20:12

Why don’t you just invoice her now for the work you’ve already done at the rate you’ve just agreed with her. Tell her the due date for that payment.

Once that payment has been received by you, then, and only then, should you do any more work for her.

Otherwise you could end up wasting more time doing work for her. This way you’ll know sooner rather than later quite how much of a friend she is.

Show quote history

This makes sense but we agreed monthly invoices so I would raise it at the end of the month for payment to typically be made within 5 days. That’s the end of the week so will see how it goes.

OP posts:
Original poster
unpaid1 · 25/05/2026 23:12

As it’s the end of the month this week I won’t have to wait long to see if she really does take me for a mug. I hope not, I thought we were quite good friends and despite everything I want to think she wouldn’t completely use me like this. I might put off the new task though as it’s not urgent and tell her I’ll work on it next week just to be cautious. That way it’s my own hard lesson to be learnt if she doesn’t pay but I’ve not wasted more time either.

OP posts:
NotThisShitAgain121 · 25/05/2026 21:20

Stop dping it. She is taking you for a mug!

Mellowautumnmists · 25/05/2026 20:12

unpaid1 · 25/05/2026 19:09

Oh dear. I didn’t think of this. I’m sure it won’t come to that though. At least hopefully not and if it does, at least then I’ll know where I and our friendship stands!

Show quote history

Why don’t you just invoice her now for the work you’ve already done at the rate you’ve just agreed with her. Tell her the due date for that payment.

Once that payment has been received by you, then, and only then, should you do any more work for her.

Otherwise you could end up wasting more time doing work for her. This way you’ll know sooner rather than later quite how much of a friend she is.

ThatBlackCat · 25/05/2026 19:34

howfascinatingforyou · 25/05/2026 19:12

Personally, I wouldnt be doing any more work for her until she's paid you for the work you've already done.

Imagine if you devote hours to her over the coming month and then when you invoice her she doesnt pay- she's obviously reluctant to pay you and keeps trying to put you off.

Its great she's now promised but that really means nothing until the money is actually transferred to your account.

Show quote history

This. You were quite foolish not to demand payment first.

You she will get you to do more work, won't pay you, and ghost you, right? If you can, message her again and say you will be happy to help her after payment at the end of the month has been received, but that you won't be doing any work til then.

howfascinatingforyou · 25/05/2026 19:12

unpaid1 · 25/05/2026 19:09

Oh dear. I didn’t think of this. I’m sure it won’t come to that though. At least hopefully not and if it does, at least then I’ll know where I and our friendship stands!

Show quote history

Personally, I wouldnt be doing any more work for her until she's paid you for the work you've already done.

Imagine if you devote hours to her over the coming month and then when you invoice her she doesnt pay- she's obviously reluctant to pay you and keeps trying to put you off.

Its great she's now promised but that really means nothing until the money is actually transferred to your account.

Ihatetomatoes · 25/05/2026 19:11

Porcupinepotato · 24/05/2026 21:38

Reply saying what the cost will be and once its transferred to you along with any outstanding payments due you will make a start on it

This.

Stop working for free. Woman up and say you are waiting payment. Don't do anymore work until paid.

Stop being used! @unpaid1

Original poster
unpaid1 · 25/05/2026 19:09

ADAB33 · 25/05/2026 18:14

Do you trust her to pay you at the end of the month, after she dragged her heals in the first place coming up with a price, which was lower than you are worth?

I totally expect you to do all the work and her not pay you, or again drag her heals/ come up with a reason she isnt happy with your work when payment is due.

Oh dear. I didn’t think of this. I’m sure it won’t come to that though. At least hopefully not and if it does, at least then I’ll know where I and our friendship stands!

OP posts:
Judecb · 25/05/2026 18:31

Tell her that you will be submitting an invoice for hours worked.

Mischance · 25/05/2026 18:26

Oops! - missed your update - well done!

Mischance · 25/05/2026 18:25

You are essentially working freelance for her. Decide what hourly rate you wish to charge and send her an invoice.

MsGreying · 25/05/2026 18:23

Well done!

ADAB33 · 25/05/2026 18:14

Do you trust her to pay you at the end of the month, after she dragged her heals in the first place coming up with a price, which was lower than you are worth?

I totally expect you to do all the work and her not pay you, or again drag her heals/ come up with a reason she isnt happy with your work when payment is due.

Lyndy74 · 25/05/2026 17:50

Shes being unreasonable and breaking up the friendship by taking the ***! No more until payment is made!

Amirina · 25/05/2026 15:59

Good for you OP, particularly for negotiating the higher figure. Well done!

Easilyforgotten · 25/05/2026 15:58

So how are you going to address the situation OP? I see four options
1 write off the work you have already done but say you haven't got time to do anymore
2 say she will need to start paying for your time going forward
3 ask her to pay for what you have already done and for any further work
4 carry on as you are doing it for nothing

Option 3 might be tricky as there was nothing concrete stated at the start, but I can't see any friend not realising she's been taking the Mickey a wee bit and agreeing to option 2 at least.

Edited - cross posted. Pleased you have a resolution OP

Original poster
unpaid1 · 25/05/2026 15:54

UPDATE: I did message her saying “before we continue further can we just confirm how I would be paid please” and she did reply with a
figure and thanks to everyone on here telling me to buckle up I did negotiate a better price! So thank you mumsnetters! 🩷 I can now send her an invoice at the end of the month! Wish you all a lovely bank holiday! I know I can now enjoy mine :)

OP posts:
Original poster
unpaid1 · 25/05/2026 15:50

Wow! Thank you so much everyone for responding! I won’t lie some responses were too direct for my liking but maybe that’s why I’m in this position in the first place!!! Truly appreciate everyone’s input though

OP posts:
OnGoldenPond · 25/05/2026 15:40

steppemum · 24/05/2026 21:48

She is a friend and you say you don't want to spoil the friendship.
So I would say what pp are sayign but soften the opening.
eg - It has been exciting to see you open your new company, and I have been really happy to give you a helping hand to start.
So now we need to talk about how we manage this in the future. I would love to continue to collaborate, I usally charge xxxx amount per hour. For you I am happy to do a 10% discount. So for the job you have just asked me about it would be 6 hours work.

Let me know what you are thinking, shall we meet ofr coffee to talk it over?

No don’t send this. It basically states you don’t expect payment for the hours already worked, which is not on. Send her an invoice for the hours worked at your normal rate, with a note “would appreciate early settlement of this so I will be in a position to start your next piece of work “.

Never mind all this tip-toeing about “ not wanting to upset a friend “. A real friend wouldn’t have put you in this position in the first place.

Tink3rbell30 · 25/05/2026 14:31

Pleaae don't be one of those irritating ignorant people that never come back to thank people for their advice and update on what you chose to do. Wasting everyone's time.

Okiedokie123 · 25/05/2026 14:09

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/05/2026 21:39

“Hi Business friend,
I’m afraid I can’t do any more work for you until we have formalised my remuneration. I am happy to invoice you by the hour, and my hourly rate will be £X. Therefore you owe me £X x Y hours for the work I have already done.
Yours,
@unpaid1.”

This!

Katflapkit · 25/05/2026 14:03

170 replies and the nil response from the OP!

Swipe left for the next trending thread