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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Me vs MIL

63 replies

justgreen13 · 24/05/2026 19:40

Hi All,

I probably am being unreasonable but honestly I can’t stop myself from feeling this way.

DH and I have been scaling back as work cut his hours and honestly we are feeling it. MIL is staying with us for a while and I know he feels embarrassed about shopping from Aldi in front of her (she’s very passive aggressive about these things) but honestly it’s all we can do to survive at the minute especially with the kids.

We’ve always had Saturday as our takeout day and the rest of the days I cook. Today being Sunday, I did some chicken with salad and potato’s for lunch and we had leftover food from yesterday for dinner. MIL refused to eat it. DH then jumps up after the meal declaring “oh I’ll get something fresh for you from the takeaway”. Runs out of the house and gets her a Chinese.

AIBU to think you absolute cunt of a man, to be absolutely fine having your children and wife eat on a budget but when it comes to your mum it’s a different story? The worst part is, 2 weeks ago when her highness wasn’t visiting, I was on my period and just CRAVING fish and chips. DH shut it down saying it’s not Saturday we can’t be doing a takeout.

I’m honestly fuming. Can someone please tell me it’s not that big of a deal so I can enjoy the rest of this long weekend please!!

OP posts:
Brokentoes85 · 24/05/2026 20:09

She's rude and ungrateful and he's a selfish manchild

SnoreyCat · 24/05/2026 20:07

YANBU at all. Why and for how long is she staying with you? Did she refuse to eat the leftovers purely because it was leftovers? I would be furious with your DH, and also lose some respect for a man who panders so much to his mother at the expense of his DW and DC.

NeedAnyHelpWithThatPaperBag · 24/05/2026 20:06

She sounds a nightmare, but I voted YABU as the power some mothers have over their adult children is a difficult one to address when you're the adult child. So it's not a simple choice for them.

ForgottenPasswordNewAccount · 24/05/2026 20:03

Take away once a week. !!! I wish I could afford that.

And there is nothing wrong with shopping in Aldi

I'llBuyThatForADollar · 24/05/2026 20:02

Sorry votee wrong. He sounds pretty weak and not nice. Sorry 💐

somanychristmaslights · 24/05/2026 20:02

Nothing wrong with shopping in Aldi. If she made a comment, I’d be saying well you’re more than welcome to do the food shopping for us!! Why is she staying with you, is she paying her way?

junebirthdaygirl · 24/05/2026 20:01

Well your mil is a guest and l think we always do our best for guests so l think that's OK. You seem to have little respect for her.
And there is absolutely no shame in shopping in Aldi..l am not broke but happy to shop there as l like some of their stuff.

pinksheetss · 24/05/2026 19:59

I think you are over reacting a bit here especially bringing out the awful c word (honestly awful word, makes my skin crawl)

if you can have a takeaway once a week then you are not on the bones of your arse? That’s more than I’d expect someone with plenty money having and if we didn’t have the money it would the the first thing I would drop.

also seems like more to the story if him getting his mum something is that bad. Do you know if he paid for it definitely and it wasn’t his mum? Even so it’s a treat for his mum so I honestly don’t see why it’s so bad

WeatherOrNothing · 24/05/2026 19:54

yanbu, why is she too good to not eat the same dinner as everyone else? Why didn’t you say it’s not Saturday ? I would be absolutely angry at this.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 24/05/2026 19:51

Yes it is awful but…

equally you’re not completely on the bones of your arse and barely able to survive because you’re still having a takeaway once a week. If it was that bad you’d be cooking on a Saturday night and saving yourself £60

Original poster
justgreen13 · 24/05/2026 19:48

@JLou08He’s awful with managing money and yes, spot on about always wanting to please the old bat. Thank you and @CalliopespaI suppose that’s a good way of trying to get over it, just so bloody annoyed 😒

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 24/05/2026 19:43

If you want to not feel like you are dwelling on this, I suppose the way to deal with it is to realise he feels judged by her and ashamed, whereas he feels more open with you.

Although I'd enjoy being the one with the takeaway, I'd also rather not be the one he feels judged by in his relationship with me ... so there's that.

JLou08 · 24/05/2026 19:42

Is he irresponsible with money or just desperate to please his mum?
I'd be annoyed to OP. I'd be asking him why he thinks his wife should go without but the family money can be spent on his mum.