Me vs MIL

How do you manage money ? Joint account and joint pots ?

AIBU to think you absolute cunt of a man, to be absolutely fine having your children and wife eat on a budget but when it comes to your mum it’s a different story?

Honestly he’s the only one who doesn’t sound like a cunt.

I think it's very normal to want to keep guests happy more than you keep your selves happy honestly. You obviously aren't "scaling back", or "feeling it" really. Take away once a week is not something we would afford and I would say we're fairly well off!

No one I know is embarrassed to shop at Aldi. I’ve never heard of such a thing.

Edited to add that I’ve always loved leftovers.

Why are you doing all the cooking? Why do the think it’s ok to use ageist slurs like ‘old bat’ when you have a DH problem?

I think sort out the issues in your own household before you start blaming the MIL. YABU.

I don’t know how mil wasn’t embarrassed having a takeaway while you all had something that wasn’t good enough for her but ok for you.
What a cheek!
But it could just be he’s closer to you and just playing the host to his dm. I’d still be fuming though it’s disrespectful and ungrateful.

"You don't like home cooked meals, buy your own and there's the door."

Here she is adding to your financial pressure and your dumbass husband goes and buys her a takeout because she's a spoiled brat.

I'd have a big talk with him about your MIL being the queen in your castle as well as finances.

I know some people don't eat reheated takeaways, I worked with someone who always told me it was probably reheated when it came so it was like reheating twice. She was absolutely adamant. But that person is not hard work and would have just asked if we had beans on toast or something.

Agree with others a weekly takeaway isn't exactly penny pinching. Everyone I know shops is Aldi or Lidl most of the time.

But regaress if you stay at someone's house you don't turn your nose up at their food

Is she paying to stay with you?

Tell her to fuck off if she isn't.

Most ridiculous comment I’ve seen on here this weekend ‘MILs always cause problems’. Don’t be daft

There’s nothing wrong with eating leftovers. However, I would far rather eat leftover home-cooked food than someone else’s leftover takeaway, (though to some extent it depends on what sort of takeaway it was).

If you had the takeaway on Saturday as usual and served up leftover takeaway tonight, I can understand why your mother in law wasn’t too keen to eat it.

'MILs always cause problems'

No they don't. Some do, some don't. Just like everybody else.

MILs always cause problems.

as for you being on a budget if so cook every day. We eat at home very day, sone days to avoid cooking always we have an easier meal like round of sandwiches and soup, eggs on toast and leftovers once or twice a weeketc. we rarely get a takeaway used to be on our birthdays but we don’t even do that now. For the last birthday we had a cold spread one day with cake and posh pizza the next. Felt like a treat still.

YABU for calling her an old bat.

Wow. My Mil would insist on paying for groceries and taking us out/ordering in so I can't relate. We always have to fight her because she's too generous.

I would be upfront with Mil and say that since your son works less hours we have less money so we have to cut our cloth accordingly. If you're not happy with Aldi or my cooking here's ubereats for you at your expense.

@justgreen13 Your DH is a dick.

Not very sensible to spoil the weekend over something pretty trivial. To call him a cunt is vile. . Shes a guest . Most of us try to be nice to guests even if they are a bit difficult -except obviously if they are mother in laws. That makes a huge difference. They immediately become old bats , entitled and need to go home at once.
We don't have take aways at all but you can make your own very nice fish and chips.

I would have a serious chat with my DH if he did this - why is he pandering to her like this? And her being snobby about budget supermarkets and left overs is bonkers - I would be telling her that is what is for lunch and too bad if she doesn't like it.

Agree. I can't stand aubergine (make me gag) went to vist my lovely cousin recently who served up stuffed aubergine (worst luck) gave it my best shot though and didn't say anything

@justgreen13 I can’t stand anyone moaning about food that has been served to them or offered to be served to them. Precisely because it’s being served to them!

Lately, I’ve really gone off chicken and salmon. However my DH cooks at the weekend (Fri - Sun) so whatever he serves the family, including chicken and salmon I’ll do my best to eat it as he’s gone to the trouble of shopping and cooking. I’d never tell him I wasn’t happy to eat it.

It’s a real bug-bear of mine, people snubbing others hospitality and making things harder for others.

Tell her to just f**king eat it or sort herself out! Or better still, go home!

You are not being unreasonable at all about the MIL situation.

’all we can do to survive at the moment’ followed by talking about having a weekly takeaway was hilarious though. Come on now.

@justgreen13 she had already had a dinner at lunch time. So she should have been happy with last nights leftovers OR said she’d make do with some cheese on toast or whatever and a cuppa.

No! Your husband should not have gone to get a fresh takeout for her. He has allowed his unreasonable mother to dictate in your house.

How long is she staying for and is she contributing financially whilst with you?

YANBU OP.

It’s unclear to me why you have so much hate for your MIL, but I’ll assume there’s some astonishing backstory.

My confusion is why did your husband not just… make something else? Why was the takeaway his only option? I love a takeaway as much as the next person (probably more), but despite being pricey it’s not exactly posh is it, so I’m unsure how this plays with the judgey MIL dynamic?

I can’t resist but join everyone in saying a takeaway a week sounds extremely frivolous to me, but that’s by the by - it’s your money, spend it how you like.

Agreed, take away once a week and switching to shopping at aldi isn’t really ‘poor us struggling on a budget’ it’s just a little bit of cutting back like most of us are doing. We don’t even manage a take away monthly at the minute

I voted YANBU, I'd be furious at DH too. Your MIL is ungrateful and rude too.

Are you still having takeaways every Saturday? I just ask as that isn't scaling back! If you are, surely once per month for a takeaway is much better financially?

We rarely get takeaways so weekly sounds very frequent to me!

It’s annoying but it’s not a big deal. I’d be more annoyed that she doesn’t contribute to her own food, why can’t she buy her own take away?