Me vs MIL

Did your MIL sit there and eat her takeaway in front of you all?

I didn’t realise that shopping from Aldi is an embarrassment 🫨😆

A weekly takeaway?! Wouldn't say things are that tight. YABU to call them names too

To make you feel better so you can enjoy this long weekend, you ate more healthily than she did.

I’m a MIL and I think your MIL is being horribly bratty looking down her nose at Aldi (stupid woman!) and then not eating the food you’d provided. Imagine the scene if you did that when you visited her house?

She could have made herself a sandwich rather than accepting the offer of a takeaway if she really didn’t fancy what you’d made.

I don’t know how much my adult kids earn (although one set definitely earn a lot more due to their different careers) but even though I’m on a very meagre pension, I still offer to treat them when I visit and we all muck in together for other meals.

Your DH blew the budget to appease his mum which is utterly ridiculous.

I’d be refusing her to visit next time and telling her exactly why we can’t afford to host her for the foreseeable.

"cunt"
"old bat"

Sounds like rudeness all round.

Obviously he was unreasonable getting MiL a takeout. Standard in my house if someone really
doesn’t like a meal is to offer to make them a sandwich instead. If she doesn’t want it just because it’s leftovers then she is extremely unreasonable as a guest. As for complaining about Aldi or being ashamed of it - my brain genuinely can’t get around that one. Why would I go out of my way to pay more for something for no reason? For fair trade or organic or similar, ok it’s a different product- but just a brand??
However, 2 things stand out for me - firstly you say he is dreadful with money. Then you say DH wouldn’t entertain fish n chips because it was the wrong day. So he controls finances then? If I felt that way I might say well I want to do it today instead of Saturday. Why did what he says take precedence? If he is running the finances, deciding what can or cannot be bought, I’d get hands on involved. Someone bad with finances shouldn’t be in charge. And like everyone else has said, either things are not that bad or you really shouldn’t be doing takeouts at all - it’s bad money management. Look up some fakeaway recipes to get your fix. Also, whilst his hours are reduced, can you increase yours?
I can’t help feeling this specific situation covers more general resentment you have.

I think you should all stop having takeaways full stop. You can hardly be on a budget if you have takeaway every week.

OP you are saying you are struggling financially but have a family take away once a week!

YABU to be so rude about your MIL and DH. I get the sense there is zero respect in the household. You are modelling behaviour to your kids. Its his mother and can get her a takeaway if he likes to as a grown adult.

There was a woman on TV a few weeks ago saying she couldn't afford a shop for food any more due to the COL crisis with her false nails and hair done up.

Your MIL sounds very rude.

As someone who has a difficult relationship with a judgemental mother, I have a bit of sympathy for your husband. I am on edge from the moment my mother steps foot in the house, wondering what she’ll criticise and put me down for next. I don’t think he should have run out for a takeaway for her. But I do a lot when my mum is here that I wouldn’t otherwise do. So I understand it a bit.

Why didn’t you say one of two things at the time: “Oh no Dave you can’t cos it isn’t Saturday and remember you said last week we are only allowed takeaway on a Saturday?” OR “Good idea Dave, I’ll stick this lot in the freezer and we can all have Chinese, mine’s a king prawn chow mein”?

Next time she turns her nose up just say ‘it’s all we can afford. Would you like some toast?
or feel free to order yourself something.’

This - just because he said it’s not the right day then it was decided? Just say I don’t care what day it is I want F and C

If you want fish and chips get fish and chips?

If you want fish and chips get fish and chips?

I mean I wouldn't say a takeaway a week is cutting back we've gone to once a month because it's just so expensive now to feed everyone and I love Aldi lol

I'd have said 'If you're not eating with us you can take yourself off elsewhere.'
I think it's disgustingly rude to refuse to eat what others have offered (different if you have an allergy or a genuine aversion but, even then, there are polite ways of dealing with it).
And I'd be furious that husband went out to get a Chinese as it's really undermining too.

I'd suggest that if she is having issues with what is offered, she should stay elsewhere in future and point her in the direction of local hotels. However, I'd be more irritated by husband as (in my house at least) we're a team and we wouldn't do anything like that without both agreeing.

I'd be having a talk with husband, especially if his Mum is being rude and passive aggressive.

I love a despicable MIL thread ( mine's a pain) and I happily eat take away left overs but many many people don't ( according to MN). So YABU 1. to call your DH the C word. 2. to not accommodate a guest who may just have a food poisoning fear re heated up takeaway - particularly if rice is involved. 3. to think there's something wrong with Aldi - we are v well off and shop there regularly

DH shut it down saying it’s not Saturday we can’t be doing a takeout.

Why wouldn’t you just go get you and the kids fish and chips?

Basically the same for less money? No shame just a pat ok the back for being smart!

I would be absolutely fuming if this was me and I would refuse to cook for either of them anymore. I really am that person. If my food isnt good enough today then its not good enough tomorrow.

It's not normal to move in with your kids and not pay a penny.

I'd order takeaway for you and the kids tomorrow evening and let MIL and your husband fend for themselves.

You need to have it out with him, ultimately he needs to choose between his family and his mother.Treating her as worthy of breaking the budget ,but not his family is unacceptable,do not have your MIL in the house again until you have this out.

Yes thats the normal way of treating mothers.

Very weird. Much more embarrassing to get a takeaway than to shop at Lidl.