To stop entertaining my kids?

I sometimes think parents peak too soon when the DC are young. So many big days out, elaborate birthday parties, big holidays. Nothing wrong with these things, but it doesn't leave the DC with as much opportunity to learn to entertain themselves or enjoy the simpler things in life, or parents with much space to gradually expand the horizons as they get older.

"Its ok to be bored"

Boredom breeds curiosity. Tell them it's a problem they can solve if they get creative.
Don't find them things to do, don't give them options. Let them figure it our, eventually they stop telling you they are bored because they know what you will say.

I would say this is quite unusual for this age group. By this age, mine were all about their friends. Hanging out wherever. Most of their friends and town are within about 2 miles walk so I laid down expectations early that lifts would not normally be an option unless it’s pissing down, or I’m going that way anyway. I stopped taking time off work for school holidays when they were about 10.

I listened to music a lot at this age. Absolutely loved it. And read books. Dc should not need constant entertainment. In life, they need to develop self reliance. There’s only so many times in a week you can tidy your room.

I would write a list of ongoing house chores (eg empty bins, fold laundry, clean mirrors and windows)
amd also a list of leisure ideas (bake something,colouring, do a yoga video, journal, craft)
and everytime they’re bored tell them to look at the list

If my kids say they’re bored, I reply “ oh great! The windows need cleaning.” Or “ the floor needs a hoover.” Over the holidays we have 30 minutes a day minimum of reading and family jobs time. Everyone spend 20 mins tidying or completing a set job. As well as the house being slightly reset, it has many benefits for children. They see they are part of a team and have responsibilities beyond themselves. They learn to do cleaning/tidying, they learn to think about other people and of course, they appreciate the play time more after! Any whining? More jobs!

Mine just play tbh so it’s not a problem I have, but I can imagine it is very tiresome

I would tell mine to read a book or tidy their room.

I'm old, but I loved school holidays because I just used to lie on my bed or in the garden and read books. From about the age of 8 or 9, I'd be off to the library every week. We were taken out occasionally, but it would never have occurred to parents that they had to entertain us. If we'd said we were bored, we'd have been given chores to do.
Tbh, it's also OK for kids to be bored ..... maybe it will fire up their creativity? Don't rush to fill the space, OP.....let them work things out for themselves.

I see it as a failing when mine can't entertain themselves (which is often!). My most curious minded child is the one best at self entertainment as he finds so many things interesting.

Kids have always been bored. Parents have not always catered to their every whim. That is new. I used to have extreme mum guilt (DD is 19 now) as she was an only child. However, we lived in a cul de sac and she played out with other children from about age 5 and that kept her busy. To be fair that was all she wanted to do in the holidays or on a sunny weekend. She used to get really annoyed if we were going out somewhere and the thought she'd miss out. If it was a rainy day, we accepted that she would play in the house with one or more of the children from the street.
We moved house when DD was about 10 and she was really upset to be leaving this arrangement. She did then start to get bored but she knew that if she forced it, she would be told to tidy her room. She became very good at imaginary play and very creative.

We’ll probably do 2 or 3 things over half term, dealing with boredom isn’t a bad life skill.

if they ask for ideas tell them to tidy their room if they ask again give them a different room in the house sooner or later they will stop asking for ideas and find something for themselves or you’ll have a clean house which is a win

Mine aren’t toooooo bad at entertaining themselves, though there is far far too much tv. It’s just on in the background all the bloody time.

My daughter does constantly ask ‘what are we doing today/tomorrow/at half term?’ Though. Like, every day there has to be some form of major entertainment. ‘Chilling at home’ is not an acceptable answer.

next time they complain about being bored, show them some studies why it's important and let them be bored.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11169528/

Or housework, there are always some chores to do.

My parents said the exact same thing 🤣

I was an only child with no family nearby so I didn’t have siblings or cousins to rely on - I read a lot of books, played imaginary games, played card games on my own, did a lot of baking, rode my bike and generally kept myself occupied.

Like other PP’s if I was too bored and whingy I was quickly given a list of jobs to be getting on with!

You don't mention books - do they read much? I was an eighties kid who didn't have parents who thought it was their job to fill every minute and it just made me read constantly. If I'd complained of boredom they'd have found some gardening I could do.

We did seem to have happier less stressed parents than the ones you see now. We were given the message that we weren't the only ones who mattered - they did too. It wasn't considered child abuse to say "mummy's having a rest and reading her book, go and play". I don't think there was anything wrong with that.

I feel you!! I’m in a very similar situation - 7 and 4yr old, we do so much with them but as soon as we get home they’re bored and never happy with the toy / game they have so it turns into every single toy out, constant asking to play, help and then the house is turned upside down and then I become very stressed and overloaded with everything!!

I found,
"When you've finished what your doing you need to ..( insert very tedious but necessary task here ) "
They will do just about anything to avoid the task and continue to look, or even actually be busy for the rest of the day. No further input required.
Tbf my brain does the same thing.
Although now i think about it i may have taught my children to prevaricate ?

Yes! I agree!

I am much older than you. OP (late 50s). My DM took me to a club virtually every night after school and at weekends. I also spent a lot of time playing out with my friends. Back then, it was considered perfectly safe to let children wander the streets all day - I used to build dens with my friends about 1.5 miles from home and my parents had no idea where I was and no way of finding out.

Whenever I wasn’t doing that, I was constantly complaining about being bored. DC2 is exactly the same. Both of us have ADHD, which is what I put that down to in our case.

I wonder if it's because we've been taught to be more responsive to crying babies. You have to transition out of that behaviour when they become toddlers because sometimes they will tantrum but not because of something that you need to rush in and fix for them. It's hard to change how you react.

I remembered being bored as kid and asking my parents when we were going to do something....and then just telling me very clearly to go and entertain myself, end of. I'd sulked and entertained myself and when we did go out to do something, I was over the moon.

The difference is that parents nowadays feel guilty and that they are a bad parent the minute their kids are upset about anything.

Kids haven't changed, parents have. Parents need to go back to accepting that kids being annoyed or upset is part of being a kid and accepting that parents do have needs too that sometimes deserve to come first. Kids are not traumatised every time they are upset.

I heard on radio 4 (so it must be true!) that being bored sometimes is the best thing for brain development abd creativity - boredom is sooo awful that your brain will work extra hard to come up with something to do to stop the boredom. How many times did you come up with an idea for a game or activity through sheer boredom? We need to let our kids experience boredom. It won't kill them.

Do they not play out?
Go to friends houses
Friends come to your house?
See any Family?

I used to say to mone of they were bored I'd give them some chores to do! It is hard to break the habit, or resort to screen time but good for their imagination to be bored!